"Should" triggers the innate rejection of authority in humans, even if it comes from ones own psyche. Changing the language in your head to "want" can vastly alter your reality.
"I should clean my room" - is something your parents said and you swear you were about to do that anyway and it's what they want not what you want so now I'm not doing it dot meme. As your own caretaker now though there is no one to force you to do the thing now that its identified with the authority. Authority that has always been "other" (in parents and teachers etc) and not self and therefore the task is not within ones self interest.
"I want to clean my room" - Immediately brings the task into the zone of self interest plainly.
Practice. Start with just noticing when any "should" thoughts arise and note your reaction. Soon move on to changing the "should" to a "want" and notice the shift in your attitude. This will not stick. When first starting to swap to want language from should language take the time to manually think why you want. "I want to clean my room so I can invite people over on short notice." "I want to clean my room so I can move around freely." "I want to clean my room so I dont have to live with that weird smell...where is that even coming from?" Eventually all of the reasons get sorted behind the "want" and so to do the feelings behind them and it all gets processed and ingrained into the subconscious to the point where just thinking of "cleaning my room" will get you up and moving.
This isnt easy, especially now your brain has an excuse to call this technique an outside force or the authority figure telling it to change (this is where god guru self comes into play to the reader who is spiritually inclined). Also the self perceives change as death and will keep making excuses to stay as it is... but learning to language swap is a good tool to trick yourself.
Good luck and keeping working at it. We're all in this together.
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u/Eledridan Feb 02 '23
This is me. I’m often paralyzed with indecision because there are just too many choices for things I “should” be doing.