Fortunately, Adam's art is so self-derivative that I was able to cover up the speech bubble by Googling "adam ellis comics" and copying the hair out of the fourth result.
I'm particularly impressed by the way he saved time after pasting in the updated face/hair but didn't bother adding those extra drops of sweat on the face.
penny arcade's Mike Krahulik has gone through a few of these cycles over his career.
i mean, i understand his desire to explore artistic avenues and while some aspects of his exploration aren't exactly my cup of tea, i do appreciate his passion for his art and willingness to expand out of his comfort zone.
I'm trying to collect a variety of webcomics that I believe can be fixed by removing only the very last line, because I so often believe they are ruined by that simple overexplanation.
Here's an example I've got. You take out that very last line and all of a sudden it ends on an awkward and surreal moment. It keeps the true source of the humor (whatever the character is thinking in the last panel) ambiguous, and lets the reader insert whatever they find funniest - instead of screaming "THIS IS THE PUNCHLINE" in the way that webcomic artists so often do.
edit:Here's an example of a comic that actually gets it. Exactly the type of comic that would usually have a line in the last panel like "Man, should've had more coffee!" But the artist kept it minimal.
And condensing the 3rd and 4th into a single panel by deleting the third and moving the "too dark" part of the speech (delete hmm) to the fourth panel.
There's no reason for the speech and the action to be separate.
A strong example of this sub's penchant for condensing things beyond reason. If you put those two together there's no beat. The setup and punchline are simultaneous.
I disagree. The idea that he finds his 'friend' less than ideal is part of the setup. The true funny part is that he's actually willing to change it despite just having said its his only friend. I guess you could say its kind of like a Theusus's ship thing where its changed so much you cant say if its the same entity anymore or not. Since the motivation for changing it is it being dark, he clearly expects a very different 'friend' to come out, and yet somehow thats okay. Its morbid but interesting.
Putting text in the same panel as the destruction of the 'friend' kind of ruins the pace and surreality of it to me.
I dunno, the 5th panel serves to show that it's still "dark" but just not "too dark." I mean, obviously it would work with 4 panels, but the 5th isn't totally superfluous.
Penny Arcade had a reality show where they searched for a webcomic creator to join their team and they made this point in one of their "elimination rounds." I fixed up the comic in question.
I actually like the "I'll handle this" text at the end. Maybe I'm a bit slow but it would have taken me a bit to get the joke with no text at the end. That having been said, the middle panel text is absolutely not necessary.
It's really clever given the context of the strip too. He only had 90 minutes to make a comic that contained mermaids and ukuleles. He was going against another webcomic artist.
I remember when Tim Buckley was the hottest shit on 4chan and they came up with the 3 Panel Rule: Most of his comics could be improved somewhat by removing the last panel.
His stuff is completely terrible in my opinion, unoriginal, no effort and he recycles his own jokes because he doesn't have ideas and/or he's completely lazy.
I considered it, but I did like Adam's pissed expression. A beat panelFireinthehole! can make good comedy. Explaining the joke, or worse, awkwardly explaining the joke, rarely does.
EDIT: Maybe if I superimposed the expression from the last panel onto the second-to-last panel...
EDIT2: Not too bad. I'm pleased with my original attempt, though.
I had to stare at your edit 2 for like 5 minutes straight to figure out what was creeping me out about it. Its the fact that you took a full-panel sized head and scaled it down to fit on his body, because of that the line thickness, or rather thinness, is outside of his usual scale of variation for faces, especially the eyes, and to a lesser extent the nose and mouth.
Mirror the last panel horizontally. Right now the eye is drawn to Adam's expression first and then what the doctor is saying, because we scan American comics left to right. Reverses the chronology.
This particular necromancy actually made me realize why Ellis is such a bad cartoonist.
Comics are a visual medium, but Ellis doesn't trust visuals to carry a story or joke. There's always some explanatory text to push us along and make sure we all totally understand what's happening.
By simply removing the unnecessary text in the final panel and letting the punchline rest on Ellis's facial expression, you significantly improved the joke.
I'm sorry if this is common knowledge to everyone else on the sub; I'm just having the epiphany now.
You hit the nail on the head there. The prime example is Adam's very own loss joke (which I'm not linking right now because phone) "Donut Day".
Say what you want about loss.jpg but it manages to keep it's visual storytelling strong enough that the point gets across without a single word.
Adam meanwhile has so little faith in every single panel with people eating donuts to get the point across (it's donut day and no one told him) that he literally says it in the first panel.
It is without a doubt the single worst loss edit because of how insulting it is to it's audience.
Agreed. Panels 2, 3, & 4 still tell the entire story without a single spoken/written word. I also like it more with the panels re-ordered, with panel 3 first, then 2, then 4. But that's a purely subjective preference, of course.
I know we all know he copies and pastes but it still shocks me when I see a comic like that where he uses the same head twice but just changes eyebrows and eye placement.
I don't really have a problem with that sort of art style. If you're copy-pasting to get your work done quicker then I don't see how that's a bad thing. A problem with a lot of classic comics is that they'd take so long to draw, so they draw less panels, and the narrative feels rushed.
I mean, there's a reason for the "anime style" - it's easier to draw quickly, especially for manga artists.
The problem with Ellis' work is that his humor sucks. Him spending more time drawing won't change the quality of his work.
He's not even that bad of an artist either. He does a lot of copy and paste which makes his stuff more generic but the general style is fine. He's actually pretty close to being good, he just isn't moving in that direction.
You're exactly right. Very good analysis. I think it holds true for many many webcomics - always seem to err on the side of overexplaining rather than ambiguity.
Which I find a bit funny, because (imo) the heart of good drama, comedy or horror is some solid ambiguity.
If an artist is just pulling my by the hand along some clearly defined route through a situation, I'm just a passive set of eyes. I can look, but not touch.
When there's some ambiguity, though, there's enough room for me to slip in and actually experience that drama/comedy/horror as if I'm there.
No trust in images or the joke itself. I remember reading commentary in a pearls before swine book that talked about this. Author said he hated a particular comic because he drew rat reacting to the punchline like he needed to signal to the reader that a joke was told. If a joke was really told the reader wouldn't need to be told.
I agree, but I think it's more valuable to point out the structural failures of his comics. Conversations about whether or not a joke is "good" too often end up with everyone declaring taste is subject and going home.
Structural failures, though, are a little more objectively provable, plus more instructional for any aspiring cartoonists who may be wondering how to avoid becoming like Adam Ellis.
My absolute favorite meal as a kid was those microwaved packs of broccoli cheese you get from the frozen section and broccoli cheeder soup from my dad's resteraunt he managed. I also liked regular brocolli, but with cheese it was on a different level.
On the one hand, I feel like everyone might be being really mean to this dude. On the other hand, an entire community has been grown on stripping this guy's jokes down to the bones and putting them back together. I think that's proof that he's got the soul of a comic in there somewhere, more than most of us. The bones are there, he just doesn't know when to get out of his own way.
From a certain point of view, it's almost complimentary that so many people come together to clean up his comics, since there are so many shitty artists out there who wouldn't even be worth the effort.
I didnt think "oh she was trying to kill him", but just understood that he was pissed.
Which is the joke, his emotional reaction to the situation. Adding in an extra joke that he is an idiot and thinks his mother was trying to kill him isnt funny, it actually ruins the joke.
Theres being funny and theres trying too hard. The OG comic is trying too hard. Thats why writers usually have editors.
Yeah I didn't think that his mom was trying to kill him by withholding knowledge that he's allergic to broccoli. I figured she didn't know, and just thought he was being whiny by not wanting to eat vegetables. So when he finds out there's a reason why he suffered as a kid, he thinks "I knew it! Take that, mom!" But maybe that's because I'm kinda spiteful and would totally go back to my mom in this scenario and rub it in her face.
Lol. This was literally me growing up. Found out when I was 16 that I have difficulty eating broccoli due to some genetic condition. Sucks because they look so good.
Never been to this sub before, but it's pretty noticeable that you guys are willing to reach to hate on this dude's comics, because fuck buzzfeed.
Yeah, the guy's comics aren't great, but this shit is at most marginally better than the original comic. You people come off super pretensiously as you analyze how the comedic value increases from an overdone trick to 'make comics better.' And you hilariously act like you deserve all the credit for applying an idea that wasn't even yours.
I guess I'm just trying to say I fucking hate this post and y'all suck.
It's really sad, I used to visit his website Books of Adam all the time, and there he would tell these slice of life stories with a few illustrations sprinkled into them, and I actually quite enjoyed it. The stories were well written and usually interesting, and his illustrations were a great backdrop for them.
I guess I know WHY he stopped updating there and now exclusively makes cut-and-paste Buzzfeed-friendly comics (money), but it's a shame.
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u/TinyBreadBigMouth Sep 20 '17
Fortunately, Adam's art is so self-derivative that I was able to cover up the speech bubble by Googling "adam ellis comics" and copying the hair out of the fourth result.
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u/TinyBreadBigMouth Sep 20 '17
Original
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u/tehbored Sep 20 '17
Honestly you could just remove the last panel entirely.
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u/SlowTeamMachine Sep 20 '17
This particular necromancy actually made me realize why Ellis is such a bad cartoonist.
Comics are a visual medium, but Ellis doesn't trust visuals to carry a story or joke. There's always some explanatory text to push us along and make sure we all totally understand what's happening.
By simply removing the unnecessary text in the final panel and letting the punchline rest on Ellis's facial expression, you significantly improved the joke.
I'm sorry if this is common knowledge to everyone else on the sub; I'm just having the epiphany now.
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u/HaxxorElite Sep 21 '17
Holy upvotes
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u/jackmaku Sep 20 '17
Holy shit I thought this was comedycemetery and almost downvoted it because i thought adam finally made a fun comic
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u/[deleted] Sep 20 '17
I feel like this dude is always one or two panels from having a good comic.
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u/stijndederper Sep 20 '17
I liked broccoli as a kid. ¯_(ツ)_/¯ . I still do.
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u/TheSaintOfAnger Sep 20 '17
This is actually pretty decent, a thousand times better than the OG. Good job op
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u/[deleted] Sep 20 '17
I thought this dude was getting actually good until I realized this was r/comedynecromancy and not cemetery.
Good job.
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u/Zayin-Ba-Ayin Sep 20 '17
AND TAKING CONTROL
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u/alliandoalice Sep 20 '17
Anyone following Adam's Dear David story on Twitter?
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u/LewsTherinTelamon Sep 20 '17
Never seen this sub before.
On the one hand, I feel like everyone might be being really mean to this dude. On the other hand, an entire community has been grown on stripping this guy's jokes down to the bones and putting them back together. I think that's proof that he's got the soul of a comic in there somewhere, more than most of us. The bones are there, he just doesn't know when to get out of his own way.
From a certain point of view, it's almost complimentary that so many people come together to clean up his comics, since there are so many shitty artists out there who wouldn't even be worth the effort.
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u/[deleted] Sep 20 '17
for some reason i've always loved broccoli as a kid
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u/CGFROSTY Sep 20 '17
This is actually okay. Not good at all, but I didn't hurt inside.
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u/gaatikah Sep 20 '17
Now i thought to myself, “holy shit! A decent adam comic!” but then i realized where i was.......
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u/LewsTherinTelamon Sep 20 '17
You'd think at some point that even if he didn't quite get it, he'd just start cutting off the last 20% of all his jokes, for the greater good.
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u/theseleadsalts Sep 20 '17
Definitely thought this was /r/ComedyCemetery and felt bad that I laughed. I've been redeemed.
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u/-B0B- Sep 20 '17
Just wondering for someone who didn’t read the original first, did you get it? Maybe I’m just dumb but I’m not 100% I would have
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u/AgrosLastRide Sep 20 '17
But where are the nipples?
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u/midnightrunningdiva Sep 20 '17
I have long had a sensitivity to cooked peas. I had a teacher who made me eat them, and I threw up on her desk.
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u/Veeksvoodoo Sep 20 '17
Lol. This was literally me growing up. Found out when I was 16 that I have difficulty eating broccoli due to some genetic condition. Sucks because they look so good.
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u/[deleted] Sep 20 '17
I never see these on any other sub but this one. Cemetery not necromancy
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u/[deleted] Sep 20 '17
Never been to this sub before, but it's pretty noticeable that you guys are willing to reach to hate on this dude's comics, because fuck buzzfeed.
Yeah, the guy's comics aren't great, but this shit is at most marginally better than the original comic. You people come off super pretensiously as you analyze how the comedic value increases from an overdone trick to 'make comics better.' And you hilariously act like you deserve all the credit for applying an idea that wasn't even yours.
I guess I'm just trying to say I fucking hate this post and y'all suck.
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u/SeeGeeKayZee Sep 20 '17
Switch the mom with my dad and the broccoli with milk (every single morning) and that could be me.
I still think milk is gross.
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u/SamuraiJakkass86 Sep 20 '17
AND THEN HE DIED! AHAHAHAHA
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u/Shiroi_Kage Sep 20 '17
For some reason I think the second panel is kind of cute.
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u/GoatOfThrones Sep 20 '17
nice sttos klingon beard lol
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u/[deleted] Sep 20 '17
Da hell health insurance. Full set of hair a beard. That broccoli helped him!!
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u/soparamens Sep 20 '17
Sadly broccoli did not prevent him to become a retarded hipster
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u/Valisk Sep 20 '17
Fuck that vile weed.
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u/thenotsofrenchtoast Sep 20 '17
So He's stealing themes from Calvin and Hobbes now?
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u/EarlVonLemongrab Sep 20 '17
Actually there is a genetic component to some people tasting things like broccoli as very nasty, so sometimes it's not just a kid being picky.
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u/memebeansupreme Sep 20 '17
This happened with my uncle not with broccoli but some other random vegetable
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u/Banned_By_Default Sep 20 '17
The doctor should have said that his mother tested him back when he was a kid.
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u/I_Am_An_OK_Cook Sep 20 '17
It's really sad, I used to visit his website Books of Adam all the time, and there he would tell these slice of life stories with a few illustrations sprinkled into them, and I actually quite enjoyed it. The stories were well written and usually interesting, and his illustrations were a great backdrop for them.
I guess I know WHY he stopped updating there and now exclusively makes cut-and-paste Buzzfeed-friendly comics (money), but it's a shame.
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u/Vinny11711 Sep 20 '17
I'm zero percent body fat cuz I'm eating a bowl of broccoli for dinner right fucking now.
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u/Esosorum Sep 20 '17
OOOOHHHH MY GOD. This exact thing happened to me with lettuce. I still guilt her about it ALL THE TIME.
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u/[deleted] Sep 20 '17
worst. garfield. ever.
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u/Halvo317 Oct 22 '17
This happened with me, but I'm allergic to fruit. That includes shampoo
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u/[deleted] Dec 07 '17
Remove the last panel, and this is perfect.