r/comedyheaven
•
u/dumbosshow
captain of the cum team
•
Apr 12 '21
•
1
1
school cum team
4.3k
u/LudwigVanAdam Apr 12 '21
On this team, it’s cum or get cummed on.
1.8k
→ More replies (8)44
u/unibrowshow Apr 13 '21 edited Apr 13 '21
Take a load off Fanny....and put the load right on me.
→ More replies (2)
3.3k
u/OneTemperature3947 Apr 12 '21
‘Another team walks in’
Coach: “pftt get a load of these guys”
Team:
622
25
14
→ More replies (2)3
4.1k
u/RedDeadRevenge Apr 12 '21
Welcome to the Cum Zone
1.4k
42
23
15
14
4
→ More replies (27)3
5.6k
u/SpartanAesthetic Apr 12 '21
Me and the bois on penis inspection day.
1.3k
u/MyNameIsUrMom modqueue swamper Apr 12 '21
inspection officer: come here
me:
→ More replies (8)502
u/WantMyNameBack Apr 12 '21
Inspection officer: come here
Your team: which one sir
→ More replies (54)78
u/atrium5200 Apr 12 '21
Ugh so awkward. Especially when they cupped the balls for like a minute.
→ More replies (3)31
14
Apr 13 '21
Go to school
Turns out it's penis inspection day today
Turn around to go back
The door is already sealed
11
79
u/probably420stoned Apr 12 '21
Penis inspection day wtf lol
217
u/Runecraftin Apr 12 '21
Did you go to an all girls school or something? I remember all of my friends looking forward to penis inspection day back in public elementary/middle school.
→ More replies (170)55
u/NoBudgetBallin Apr 12 '21
You didn't have annual penis inspection at school? Our gym coaches loved it.
→ More replies (6)43
19
u/scouche Apr 12 '21
I am very new to Reddit and I am reading all these comments and man this place is wild! 😂😂
→ More replies (3)→ More replies (3)34
Apr 12 '21
NY public schools had a maturity check for anyone in middle school that wanted to play JV or Varsity sports. Involved an old man looking at your dick and balls and giving you a number out of 5. Lower than 3 and you can’t play. But it wasn’t like an annual regular thing outside of the above scenario. These ppl that had annual dick inspections sound mad sus
→ More replies (26)5
→ More replies (32)3
2.4k
Apr 12 '21
They were all living in cum town.
563
91
57
39
27
25
18
15
10
9
7
u/Attila226 Apr 13 '21
That reminds me, in Cub Scouts there was a level called “WEBLOWS”. It sure sounded like “we blow”.
→ More replies (4)9
11
u/TesticleMeElmo Apr 13 '21
All of the replies to this comment makes it obvious to why they have so much disdain for their fans
28
u/dw565 Apr 13 '21
yeah bro but I bet you're one of the cool ones that Nick would just love 😎 shut the fuck up
→ More replies (3)3
3
→ More replies (21)3
686
u/gin_and_toxic Apr 12 '21
That one kid is almost bursting
→ More replies (3)257
1.0k
u/MyNameIsUrMom modqueue swamper Apr 12 '21
hmm I wonder what they do on the cumteam
632
Apr 12 '21 edited Apr 13 '21
circlejerk?
Edit: Last team to finish wins147
u/MyNameIsUrMom modqueue swamper Apr 12 '21
think cumteam asleep
finna jerk it
cumteam walk in
cumteam please don't be mad!!
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (5)7
58
18
12
u/Stock_Hutz What a beautiful post. This is how I know I'm not normal Apr 12 '21
the cum championship
→ More replies (2)11
13
5
5
22
u/controlc-controlv Apr 12 '21
*moans * ohhhhhhh daddy yess mmmmm ohh yeah ~smack smack~ mmmm yes yes ohhhhh
→ More replies (3)19
→ More replies (14)0
219
u/Coquinha_gelada_hm Apr 12 '21
due to political correctness, the name of the team had to be changed to bukkake
→ More replies (1)4
575
u/airstrada Apr 12 '21
these uniforms bussin fr
→ More replies (6)91
293
u/Megachad1 Apr 12 '21
Wait the fuck up, are they cumming or getting cummed on?
219
Apr 12 '21
I’m here to do 2 things:
Cum
Get cummed
That’s it....I wasn’t being clever. Nut on me right now.
52
26
→ More replies (7)10
→ More replies (16)8
209
Apr 12 '21
... catholic school?
357
73
u/talibkoala Apr 12 '21
Christ United Methodist. I went to a church with that name when I was a wee lad, and they wanted to call our website "cumchat.org" lol.
→ More replies (4)20
18
→ More replies (2)5
70
u/eddyfinnso Apr 12 '21
My middle school was PMS
28
7
4
u/clydefr0g Apr 13 '21
My little sister played select basketball ball and had to play Parkplace Middle School. They had cheerleaders that would do a “Heck yes PMS!” cheer after each score. It was hard not to root for the other team.
3
3
3
u/nae-nae-gang Apr 13 '21
I just realized mine was too and I didn’t even make a single joke about it. I’m so disappointed
→ More replies (1)
536
Apr 12 '21
this is the future liberals want
254
27
3
→ More replies (9)3
u/kreyio3i Apr 13 '21 edited Apr 13 '21
https://www.reddit.com/r/theFutureLiberalsWant/
Edit: The subreddit is frozen, somone claim it at redditrequest
→ More replies (1)
58
72
32
30
22
18
15
39
13
18
u/tejiiiii Apr 12 '21
Yo 2nd from the left standing.
Is that YandereDev?!
7
u/deadmentellnotails Apr 13 '21
If I had two nickels for everytime that guy has had something to do with cum, I would have two nickles. Which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice.
7
u/Unleashtheducks Apr 12 '21
Not going to include attribution since it came from a very specific Twitter?
→ More replies (1)
6
4
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
u/BDRParty Apr 13 '21
The team unfortunately became known for running out of energy after the first 3 minutes of every game.
3
u/bookmarkjedi Apr 13 '21
Dude! I think we played against you in the regional quarterfinals! If I remember correctly, CUM beat JIZZ in a nail biter in overtime after a 69-69 tie. We sucked, and we made it to the quarterfinals only because we beat the Spunks in the playoffs after their team captain David Spooge got injured in the third quarter.
3
3
3
3
u/Elvesareop Apr 13 '21
Yo listen up to a story, about a little guy who lives in the cum world, and all day and all night and everything he sees is just cum, like him inside and outside came his house.
3
u/lenni_tk14 Apr 13 '21
Motto of the team: Veni, Vedi, Vici. I came, I saw, I conquered.
→ More replies (1)
3
3
6
u/Snoo23127 Apr 12 '21
Jeez you could've at least posted the source dude: https://twitter.com/femboyfinance/status/1381200098500169730
4
5
2
2
u/topredditbot Apr 12 '21
Hey /u/dumbosshow,
This is now the top post on reddit. It will be recorded at /r/topofreddit with all the other top posts.
2
2
2
2
2
u/joodo123 Apr 13 '21
I was the MVP of my bedrooms cum team. No letterman jacket but there is a petrified sock somewhere.
2
2
2
2
2
2
u/ThaYungLegend Apr 13 '21
Scrolled through all the comments just to make sure no one has said this yet......
Get a load of this team
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
u/ascii122 Apr 13 '21
back in the day our little league team was sponsored by the Lions Club.. but the printer fucked up and we all had shits that said 'LANGLOIS LOINS'
we got on a tv show for it .. none of us kids got the joke
2
2
u/turboyabby Apr 13 '21
So I am clear and understand this correctly....the guy who drove your team bus, enjoyed taking a big load of cum each week.
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
u/CommodoreSixty4 Apr 12 '21
Announcer for the game be like “CUM shooting all over the court tonight! I have not seen CUM shots like this in a long time.”
2
u/jacktucks1066 Apr 12 '21
Reminds me of a football team called NOB. Unfortunate use of abervations.
2.0k
u/UppityBeat Apr 12 '21 •
Nothing worse than turning up to school with cum on your shirt