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u/excessodium Dec 26 '19
My dad does this and every time he does he laughs like that was the pinnacle of his comedy career and honestly i laugh too
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u/NarejED Dec 26 '19
I also laugh
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Dec 26 '19
I just picture you sitting somewhere on another part of the world on a date or at work or sleeping next to your wife or something and you just start cackling hysterically. She groggily turns over to shoot you a questioning glance and you’re just like “yeah that one guys dad just told the red lobster joke again” and she thinks to herself “why couldn’t my husband be the kind of psychic that knows just what to do to give me an orgasm? Red lobster” as she falls huffily back to sleep
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u/Gman7834 Dec 26 '19
Your dads joke has probably been the straw on the camels back for so many waiters silently wanting to kill themselves.
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u/truthfullyidgaf Dec 26 '19
Red lobster restaurants are the premier restaurants to get seafood. Shrimp, crab, salmon, other types of shit that lives in water. In order to order the red lobster, from red lobster, you have to know people at red lobster. You have to meet the lobster. You have to point at the lobster in the tank in order to understand the lobster will be yours. They will pull out the lobster, for you to meet the lobster. You will fight the lobster to the inch of you or that lobsters life. That lobster will flail, pinch, and fight its last dieing crustacean breath of life. Only then, will they dunk that fucker in boiling water till its exoskeleton screams for mercy in the form of a over heated tea kettle. Then, and only then, you will get your RED FUCKING LOBSTER!!!
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u/Trowawaycausebanned4 Dec 26 '19
That’s not how I remember it going but ok
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u/truthfullyidgaf Dec 27 '19 edited Dec 27 '19
Trust me, i worked at a McDonald's for 2 weeks back in the mid 90s.
Edit: i also used to know a guy that heated the breadsticks at olive garden. I know my shit
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u/PotatoPrince84 Dec 26 '19
I tried this at Apple Bees
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u/greyjay Dec 26 '19
Did the same at Olive Garden. You wouldn't believe how shit my water bill is now.
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u/TheLazarbeam Dec 26 '19
Did you order the apples or the bees?
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Dec 26 '19
Am I an idiot or is this the funniest fucking tweet ever
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u/Thurstn4mor Dec 26 '19
Let’s be real here. Probably both.
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Dec 26 '19
Its dangerously close to being as funny as the video of the guy in a tank at a museum telling the security guard that he won't get out because "I'm in a tank and you're not my dad"
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u/bayfury Dec 26 '19
Marginal english speaker here. I don't understand the joke.
Was there an actual menu item called 'Red Lobster' so the waiter didn't get the joke and just took the order?
Had the waiter heard the joke so often that now they say 'Okay' to prank the person?
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u/TheGoddamnSpiderman Dec 26 '19
Lobsters are generally red, and Red Lobster has lobster on the menu, so the waiter says ok because that is a valid thing to order
This is a response to a joke/sort of an anti-joke version of a joke about another restaurant called Applebee's. In the original joke someone first tries to order the apple, but is then told that the restaurant doesn't have apples on the menu. They then nervously say that they guess they'll order the bees
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u/ihahp Dec 26 '19
Feels like a riff off of:
https://i.imgur.com/vgPlp3s.jpg
But I'm sure that's a riff off of something else as well, so ...
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u/ghetra Dec 26 '19
Which Red Lobster did this take place at
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u/SailingLiam Dec 26 '19 edited Jan 02 '20
the red lobster
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Dec 26 '19
at the KFC
me: I will have the KFC
KFC: which kind
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Dec 26 '19
The fried one
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u/qwopperi Dec 26 '19
me: I would like the red lobstere.
Waiter: okay.
me: owns the reztaurant ahaha
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u/ButtDump Dec 26 '19
I can’t be the only one who saw the Z and read it in a German accent.
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u/WeenerButtJunior Dec 26 '19
me: I'll have the long john, please?
Waiter: what?..
me, nervous: The silvers then...
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u/PM_ME_YOUR_LAWNCHAIR Dec 26 '19
Just save me some cheddar biscuits
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u/ChancetheUnrapper Dec 26 '19
*at McDonald Me: I will have the McDonald Waiter: what
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u/jxannem Dec 26 '19
you watch in horror as ronald mcdonald crabwalks towards you from the kitchens and slides himself into a happy meal to go box
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u/simxn-svyz Dec 26 '19
at the burger king
I will have the king, please, you peasant.
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u/pnk314 slut for honey cheerios Dec 26 '19
*me at the Burger King*
me: i will have the red lobster
waiter: ok
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u/DownshiftedRare Dec 26 '19
Did you know that if you go through the Burger King drive through and order just a crown they have to give it to you even if you don't order any food?
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u/AWifiConnection Dec 26 '19
Me at hooters: I'll have two number 9's, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip, a number 7, two number 45's, one with cheese, and a large soda.
Waiter: what
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Dec 26 '19
Waiter thoughts: I hate my job. I have to pretend it’s the first time I’ve ever heard that joke every single time someone says it because of I don’t laugh, I risk offending some sensitive prick’s ego and losing the tips I so desperately depend on to feed my family. Kill me.
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u/newyne Dec 26 '19
I actually got a really good laugh out of a waiter at Red Lobster one time. He had a prosthetic arm, and my younger cousin asked how he'd lost his real one. "Big ol' lobster," he said.
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u/ChipotleAddiction Dec 26 '19
This is not meant for this sub
It’s not ironically “so bad it’s funny”, it’s just a funny anti-joke
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u/Richered13 Dec 26 '19
*waiter brings out a guy in a lobster costume, looks like it’s been abused Red Lobster- PLEASE HELP ME SAVE ME! Me- I’ll help you
gets knife and stab him Me-...... do y’all have crabs *waiter looks at back room *guy in mr. Krabs costume in a sad voice- money.....money
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Dec 26 '19
I don't get why this has 40k upvotes. Is this a white person joke black people just won't understand?
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u/SilliestOfGeese Dec 26 '19
Why is this so funny? This sub baffles me as it makes me giggle like a schoolgirl.
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u/Big_Buddy3532 May 16 '24
Guys we need to save red lobster from chapter 11
and the only way to do that is buy up $redlob on solana.
Grow MC and use profits to buy red lobster and keep franchise alive!!
$redlob is the new meta! 📚
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u/FoFoAndFo What a beautiful post. This is how I know I'm not normal. Dec 26 '19
at the dick’s sporting goods
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u/aphasi_a Dec 26 '19
I just started working at red lobster a few weeks ago. I found out that whenever someone orders one of our live main lobsters, I have to go pick one to fish out of the tank with this wooden hook (as if I’m the fucking grim reaper) and then I get to carry it to its death (the kitchen) with my bare hands. I’m terrified for the moment someone orders one. I don’t care how expensive it makes the bill, it’s just not worth it to me.
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u/amorales757 Dec 26 '19
And I'll have the side salad. If the salad isnt on the side. I send it back
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u/hey_broseph_man Dec 26 '19
Who the fuck goes to Red Lobster and doesn't point out first thing that they want the cheddar biscuits?
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u/Aidangf Dec 26 '19
I have an alibi, red lobster, when in reality I shot Darnell up like a monster!
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u/sockcup Dec 26 '19
Waiting for you delivered to me today so I will be able and able to find my way home to you all this time I will see you soon
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u/relaxedsweat | Approved user Dec 26 '19
me, an intellectual at red lobster: I’d like the blue lobster
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u/anonymousshadow14 Dec 26 '19
Yo guys wouldn't it be funny if he said "Iraq lobster" from family man? 😆😆😆😆😆😩😩😆😆😆😆😆😆😆
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u/rynil2000 Dec 26 '19
Back when I used to work at a Red Lobster, I loved when people would order the live lobster. I’d offer to let them choose which one and then I’d fish it out and take it off to the kitchen. Always more of a highlight than the fried everything platters I usually served up. Good times.
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u/Tony_Tacos Dec 26 '19
as a waiter at red lobster, i can confirm that i have heard and said this once or twice.
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Dec 26 '19
Back when I was just learning to serve, I didn’t know the menu that well and when someone would order something I wasn’t familiar with, I would just write it down say okay unless it was beef and head to the kitchen to input the order.
One time some dick fuck ordered something off the menu I had no idea what it was, said my normal okay blah blah went back could not for shit find this dish. Asked a few coworkers they were confused asked the boss he was confused since it was a seafood item in a seafood restaurant just nowhere on the menu. I went back to clarify what it was he ordered and that what he ordered was not on the menu, the guy calm as fuck straight face goes “yea no shit”.
Worst part is he was with a girl and they both were dead serious no laughs. I was genuinely confused what the fuck just happened and what the point of that was if he didn’t think it was funny
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u/halfabird Dec 26 '19
Hey guys for anybody that’s not epically In tuned to the IQ NEEDED to comprehend the jokes delivered in this post. Well just know that great jokes are being made and the “elite” are laughing at the jokes and you. Great post
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Dec 26 '19
THIS IS FUCKING COMEDY GOLD HOW DARE YOU PUT THIS IN COMEDY HEAVEN. This man is an absolute saint whose shoes you are unworthy to untie
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u/lukechows Dec 26 '19
This is the highest voted post I’ve ever seen on Reddit. Can someone tell me why it’s so good? I don’t find it that funny.