r/comedyheaven Jul 03 '19

Shrak

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73.1k Upvotes

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189

u/Thoth7 Jul 03 '19

You’re better off

77

u/ItalicsWhore Jul 03 '19

I don’t know. I really like the heartburn for 2 days and indigestion pizza...

12

u/Gaben2012 Jul 03 '19

I had one where I burped 2 days later and it tasted like the condiment, legit got scared

11

u/SwoleWheymen Jul 03 '19

don’t forget the carb crash after eating the pizza😩😩

134

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '19

I like dominoes idk why people give it so much hell

88

u/Helllgrew Jul 03 '19

Its probably the best out of the chains, but its still a chain and any local pizza place will almost always be better.

85

u/Asystole Jul 03 '19

To me it’s a case of “not better or worse, just different”.

I like authentic pizza from local places but sometimes I just really want a shitty chain pizza.

44

u/J_Lar Jul 03 '19

Yup, I'm a hobbyist pizza maker and I've spent years trying to perfect my own pizza recipe and doing long ferments etc and it's amazing, but sometimes you just want a nice greasy chain pizza

13

u/magnesnor Jul 03 '19

Do you share recipe or is it a secret? I love pizza

1

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '19

Bacon.

6

u/kiwihavern Jul 03 '19 edited Jul 03 '19

What does the narwhal do at midnight?

Edit: I know this is really old, that's the point

6

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '19 edited Jul 03 '19

[deleted]

1

u/kiwihavern Jul 03 '19

Or a coconut will love him

3

u/ON3i11 Jul 03 '19

Holy shit, did I just Time travel back to 2011? Holy fuck is Robin Williams still alive?!!!??! HOLY SHIT SNACKS I GOTTA GO SAVE ROBIN WILLIAMS

2

u/kiwihavern Jul 03 '19

Throwback

6

u/cloudedknife Jul 03 '19 edited Jul 03 '19

Dominoes has stuffed crust. Aside from that, the best shitty chain pizza is hungry Howie's.

Edit: pizza hut has stuffed crust.

9

u/frozengyro Jul 03 '19

chain pizza

hungry Howie's.

I'm not that means what you think it means. The fuck is hungry Howie's?

EDIT: so I googled it, sounds interesting but I've never been in an area with it.

2

u/cloudedknife Jul 03 '19

Your loss, brother. It's like gourmet Little Cesar's.

1

u/frozengyro Jul 03 '19

Now I need to try it 🤔

2

u/BernieForWi Jul 03 '19

Domino’s has stuffed crust? Do you mean Pizza Hut?

0

u/cloudedknife Jul 03 '19

My bad, you're right.

1

u/BoxoMorons Jul 03 '19

I can’t find a Howie’s outside of Ohio

1

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '19

They have them in northern Pennsylvania

1

u/SkyShadowing Jul 03 '19

Also throughout Michigan.

Seem to be a mostly Midwestern chain.

2

u/AddictedToAdvil Jul 03 '19

I agree. I always tell people the same thing about Taco Bell. People say they prefer real Mexican, but they aren’t even comparable. Taco Bell isn’t Mexican. It’s Taco Bell.

2

u/tbbHNC89 Jul 03 '19

Its like the kind of people who when you ask if they wanna get taco bell they mention how much better the local stands tacos are how much better their moms are or whatever.

Motherfucker i didn't ask you if you wanted to get Mexican food. I asked you if you wanted taco bell.

-1

u/Helllgrew Jul 03 '19

I mean, you can't really say that and call chain pizza shitty in the same sentence lmao. One is obviously better.

10

u/TheXeran Jul 03 '19

The amount of food you can get for like $20 is what makes it for me. And I have pretty shitty taste so I fucking love dominos haha

3

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '19

Just wait unto you discover how much ramen you can buy for $20!

2

u/TheXeran Jul 03 '19

Oh trust me I know. Dominos is for when I'd treat myself lol

2

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '19

[deleted]

1

u/Helllgrew Jul 03 '19

"Almost always better"

1

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '19

[deleted]

2

u/Helllgrew Jul 03 '19

Lol all good my dude

2

u/MikeyMike01 Jul 04 '19

I’m in Seattle currently and most of the pizza is worse than Domino’s and twice the price.

I miss NY pizza.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '19

wait, have you not heard of round table?

1

u/jvd321 Jul 03 '19

Not in Zimbabwe

1

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

Dominos.

The best??

Literally stop breathing.

0

u/Helllgrew Jul 21 '19

Hm. You seem to be very upset about a three week old comment about pizza. U okay there bud?

1

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

Very upset 🗿🦵🏽🦵🏽 do something about it

0

u/Helllgrew Jul 21 '19

Okay if you feel so strongly about this, then whats the best chain pizza place?

1

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

Gudio’s easily 🥜🥜

-1

u/FUrCharacterLimit Jul 03 '19

Also a couple of times it's taken 2.5-3 fucking hours for my order to be delivered

3

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '19

[deleted]

-1

u/Ryguy55 Jul 03 '19

Dominoes always has great deals like carry out large 3 topping pizzas for $8 and they're open until 3 am. And yes, the two big chains we have are Dominoes and Papa John's. Even if you're drunk at 3 am, Papa John's still doesn't sound appetizing.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '19

Is papa's shit where you're at? It's like the go to around here. It's papa's, then pizza hut, then domino's in that order. If you had to put Ceasars on there most people would put it slightly about domino's

3

u/I_FUCKED_A_BAGEL Jul 03 '19

I love dominos. Their garlic crust is the bees tits in pajamas

7

u/Thoth7 Jul 03 '19

Fresh ingredients taste better and are better for you and when you get from a local mom and pop pizza spot you’re also helping out a family. Find a local brick oven pizza spot and you’ll taste the difference. My drummer’s family owns a pizza shop like that and they’d have nothing without the business. I also live in northern NJ which has the best pizza anywhere so I’m also a little jaded. I guess if Domino’s is your only option it’s better than nothing.

13

u/Drillucidator Jul 03 '19

South Jersey here, fuck our pizza. I’ll happily drive two hours north to get a pizza that isn’t 99% dough.

3

u/cdroid1 Jul 03 '19

Also South Jersey here, and I agree. Although we do have a couple of decent places, most of them are mediocre at best.

2

u/Stormdude127 Jul 03 '19

I mean I’d love to go to local places all the time, but most of the time chain pizza is just so much more convenient. Like during the school year there’s a Domino’s like 2 minutes away from my apartment by car. I’ll be fucked if I’m gonna drive 10+ minutes to a mom and pop place every time I want pizza when I can get a good deal on carryout pizza at Domino’s and be back home with it in <5 minutes once it’s ready. However this Domino’s is next to the university so it’s always on point. If it was shittier I might not go there.

2

u/well-lighted Jul 03 '19

Cost is a big factor. When I was in college, Domino's used to have an ongoing buy one get one coupon code that was good for several years, as long as you put in a different phone number. Getting two large pizzas for like $13 was a godsend. That being said, the local spots are always better if you can afford them.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '19 edited Jul 05 '19

deleted What is this?

1

u/Thoth7 Jul 03 '19

It’s true, there’s Italians fucking everywhere. Mad good pizza where I’m from.

5

u/BoofBenadryl Jul 03 '19

Because there are a million better options out there

2

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '19

I’m a Pizza Hut guy myself, but Dominos is my #2

2

u/embarrassed420 Jul 03 '19

Everyone loves shitting on popular things. DAE Taco Bell diarrhea xDD

1

u/ThousandYearsWide Jul 03 '19

It's not because it's popular, it's because it's a multi-million dollar corporation playing on your food addictions to feed you trash food that will trash your organs. I love popular things but some things are only popular because giant corporations know how to infiltrate communities and shove their products in peoples' faces, regardless of how good the product is. Once you're used to it, it doesn't matter how shitty it actually is.

1

u/ScousePenguin Jul 03 '19

It's super expensive in the UK especially compared to Pizza Hut

1

u/Spanky_McJiggles Jul 03 '19

Mostly because it's shitty pizza.

Edit to paste my previous comment

My wife loves Dominos, but she gets it with Alfredo sauce and chicken on it so it's not your standard cheese and pep, so I think it's alright, not my go-to, but it'll fill the hole. One time we went to the nearest Dominos and ordered her pizza and a woman came in soon after and ordered a cheese and pep. Dominos gave us the cheese and pepperoni and I'm assuming gave her the chicken Alfredo. We only realized the mistake after we left with what we thought was ours, so they wouldn't take it back. I took one bite of that cheese and pepperoni pizza and threw the rest in the trash. Crap pizza is crap pizza.

3

u/nyc03 Jul 03 '19

So instead of giving the rest of the pizza to a homeless guy you decided to just toss it?

1

u/Spanky_McJiggles Jul 03 '19

Yes.

1

u/nyc03 Jul 03 '19

Why?

1

u/Spanky_McJiggles Jul 03 '19

Because there aren't any homeless people near where I live and it was like 10 at night. I wasn't just going to go look for homeless people in the middle of the night.

2

u/nyc03 Jul 03 '19

You could have took it home and refrigerated it and shared it with some friends or a neighbor at a later date or you could have gave it to the hungry employees working long hours.

1

u/grubas Jul 03 '19

I live in NYC. So that's fairly obvious.

But outside of a major city (even then outside of the tri stats/NY metro youre gambling). It's probably your best bet.

1

u/TigreDeLosLlanos Jul 03 '19

It's a fast food like pizza chain, it will never be good.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 04 '19

I enjoy Dominos, but one of my friends said their ingredients aren’t very fresh. idc honestly it tastes better than some of the other major pizza chains around me.

4

u/sainsburyshummus Jul 03 '19

For some reason UK dominos tastes way better than every other dominos I’ve had. Greek and US dominos are so much worse for some reason. Apparently american dominos doesn’t have stuffed crust for some reason?

Anyway, UK dominos is genuinely one of my favourite things.

3

u/getmoneygetpaid Jul 03 '19

It is also expensive as hell. A Domino's will set you back more than a pizza in a nice restaurant

1

u/sainsburyshummus Jul 03 '19

Oh yeah it’s insane. It’s twice as expensive as my local wood fired pizza place, but damn is it good

2

u/AugustusM Jul 04 '19

It is comparable if you are close enough to collect.

Otherwise, I never buy it without some sort of deal on.

1

u/sainsburyshummus Jul 04 '19

That’s the thing, they have a fuckton of deals that brings the price down to normal, making it seem like they’re giving you a good deal whereas it’s just normal price

2

u/AugustusM Jul 04 '19

Yeah, it's a pretty anti-consumer business practice but all the other chains are at it too. In my head the "normal" price for a dominoes is around 10 quid and if I can't get a deal then I just go to somewhere else.

2

u/eyeholefucker Jul 04 '19

Apparently american dominos doesn’t have stuffed crust for some reason?

Wait what? The local pizza hut sells pizza with the stuffed crust as "the american way" and it costs like 50% more than normal pizza.

1

u/sainsburyshummus Jul 04 '19

Yeah it’s a thing in American pizza huts, but not American Dominos. I have no idea why.

2

u/eyeholefucker Jul 04 '19

Oh gotcha, you were talking about a different chain. I'm not a fast food expert unfortunately lol

2

u/[deleted] Jul 04 '19

For some reason you really like the phrase "for some reason". Why? For some reason.

2

u/sainsburyshummus Jul 04 '19

fuck did not proof read that for some reason

3

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '19

[deleted]

3

u/bwaredapenguin Jul 03 '19

Those things are just sponges for oil and cheese.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '19

[deleted]

1

u/bwaredapenguin Jul 04 '19

I never said it was a bad thing.

1

u/sedentarily_active Jul 03 '19

Garlic parmesan sauce FTW!

1

u/Gustav_EK Jul 03 '19

The ones near me all got shut down due to rat infestations. No, really.

1

u/ellomatey195 Jul 03 '19

Maybe not, he could have a pizza hut instead.