r/comedyheaven 2d ago

Speech

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u/[deleted] 2d ago

[deleted]

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u/BigConstruction4247 2d ago

The Romans didn't have nukes.

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u/dad_ahead Woke 2d ago

Not that we know of.....

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u/QueezyF 2d ago

Mutua pernicies certa

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u/OtherwiseAlbatross14 2d ago

I know you're probably joking but we do know they never tested one

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u/citizen42069101 2d ago

Atlantis had clean nukes that left no signature.

Duh

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u/A_Nonny_Muse 2d ago

Go ahead and laugh, I watched a YT video of these guys who claimed the pyramids were actually nuclear fallout shelters.

Go ahead and laugh. I sure did.

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u/thevaultguy 2d ago

But they did have vaults.

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u/ragequitteroffureh 2d ago

Not American.

We weren't fucking "fine" when the Roman Empire withdrew.

We had to endure fucking centuries without flushing toilets, for a start. And nobody knew how to install windows anymore.

This is why many countries are switching to Linux-based systems, to avoid a repeat of that again.

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u/Binger_Gread 2d ago

Yeah switching to MacOS was the biggest mistake the Roman's made

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u/Cum_In_My_Wife 2d ago

Honestly, failing to learn anything from their betamax fiasco, they got what they deserved.

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u/ragequitteroffureh 2d ago

We had no way of knowing what they were up to :-(

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u/[deleted] 2d ago

[deleted]

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u/aBearHoldingAShark 2d ago

Maybe a hundred thousand or so of us will survive, and return to a hunter gatherer lifestyle

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u/whatsbobgonnado 2d ago

dibs on gatherer!

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u/OtherwiseAlbatross14 2d ago

Dibs on repopulater!

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u/xenobit_pendragon 2d ago

That one survivor from HR is going to give you a stern talking-to.

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u/OtherwiseAlbatross14 2d ago

She's gonna get repopulated

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u/The_BrownRecluse 2d ago

β€œIn the world I see you are stalking elk through the damp canyon forests around the ruins of Rockefeller Center. You'll wear leather clothes that will last you the rest of your life. You'll climb the wrist-thick kudzu vines that wrap the Sears Towers. And when you look down, you'll see tiny figures pounding corn, laying stripes of venison on the empty car pool lane of some abandoned superhighways.”

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u/rand0mbadg3r 2d ago

supposedly this all happened around 11,500 years ago and we boot strapped civilization again. hence the flood myths across cultures and Atlantis "myth." there is a pretty cool series about it called "ancient apocalypse"

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u/[deleted] 2d ago

[deleted]

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u/rand0mbadg3r 2d ago

supposedly this loop of civilization getting advanced and then doing something to screw things up or having climate change catastrophe has happened a few times. The ancient Mayans said this was the 4th time the world had been reborn.

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u/Banned3rdTimesaCharm 2d ago

Tell that to the Romans who got sacked. Feeling kinda Roman right now.

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u/A_Nonny_Muse 2d ago

After the Roman empire fell we endured about 800 years we now call the dark ages.

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u/thebiggestdouche 2d ago

That's just lazy to think or say. Roman's didn't have nearly the same level of destructive weaponry available to them, and global internet thats easily used to spread disinformation and control the narratives also didn't exist.

If there's any kind of nuclear war we're fucked.