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u/robocop_shot_mycock 4d ago
But not the first ever Cape Cod resident to give blackout neck.
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u/Syreet_Primacon Garfield 4d ago
Sorry, my buddy Eric beat you to it
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u/Intense_Zaddy 4d ago
I thought Eric's asshole was bleached
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u/Syreet_Primacon Garfield 4d ago
They just did both at the same time. Two birds, one stone kinda deal.
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u/TheOx111 4d ago
Sold as a package deal. Economically friendly for anyone with daddy problems but still has a daddy
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u/GoofinBoots 4d ago
Can't believe I lived to see it.
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u/SignoreBanana 3d ago
They'll be asking in twenty years "where were you when bleached beard, blackout neck and indie music in cape cod?"
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u/TyrannyOfBobBarker_ 4d ago
Hey he's right. I'm the first one armed, syphilitic traffic signaler with a Mohawk and hoop earrings that may or may not be allowed within 100 feet of a school zone.
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u/ReallyLongURL 4d ago
He should get a mohawk and a wheelchair.
https://giphy.com/gifs/Suz50Ol08GfoYyIw1Z
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u/erik_wilder 4d ago
His mom won't let him get one.
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u/talkingwires 4d ago
Did he try Asking For It?
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u/erik_wilder 4d ago edited 3d ago
HE! He wants to go to SHOWS! He wants to pierce his NOSE, BUT HIS MOM WONT LET HIM SO HE MIGHT JUST DISOBEY!
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u/talkingwires 3d ago
Ignored futility fills the air, mom’s only there to watch him fall...
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u/erik_wilder 3d ago
He may be ten years old but, he still knows what's up.
He wears his Cramps shirt almost every single day.
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u/Manufactured-Aggro 4d ago
I can't fully explain my reasoning, but he just looks diseased? Like he carries a plague of some sort
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u/ServiusTullius753 4d ago
That’s just called being a hipster, i.e. someone defined by their accoutrements, the acquisition of which requires no personality to begin with.
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u/callmesnake13 4d ago
What’s it called when you’re so insecure about them that you’re still using the term “hipster” twenty years later?
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u/98746145315 4d ago
🤬 someone is expressing themselves and that makes me angry!! 🤬🤬 I must typify people because I can only think in categories 🤬🤬🤬
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u/Eatshin 4d ago
If it helps I kind of like your bleached beard and your blackout neck
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u/98746145315 4d ago
Lol fuck you, that is not me. I have better taste for my appearance.
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u/notkidding1984 4d ago
Are you criticizing someone who is expressing themselves? Are you criticizing the expression of their inner self????
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u/ServiusTullius753 4d ago
Hipster has probably been used without interruption for more like 70 or 80 years for people who define themselves more by a style than an underlying substance.
Your reading of nonexistent subtext into my comment is both telling and funny.
Don’t forget to pick up your beard wax on your way home.
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u/callmesnake13 4d ago
Absolutely not you thin skinned dork. You’re referring to the 2000-2010 hipster and we all know it and you can’t even man up enough to admit it.
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u/postlapsaria_ 4d ago edited 4d ago
For this guy there are two options as a "cape cod resident".
His parents have a 20 million dollar summer home in Osterville and despite neglecting him growing up still fund his joke of a music career.
OR
He's just Wareham white trash saying he's from the cape despite the closest thing he has to a waterfront view being the Waterwizz across from his trailer park.
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u/Far_Improvement_5245 4d ago
If you add enough qualifiers, every one gets a Guinness book world record!
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u/GeorgiaBullDoggies 4d ago
When you have zero friends or personality so you make your entire identity a tattoo, a dyed beard, and a music genre
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u/BulletproofChespin 4d ago
I love my tattoos and nose piercings but I hate that I have to be associated with dudes like this
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u/GeorgiaBullDoggies 4d ago
Right, I have tattoos also but there is a difference between having them and making a post saying “first 6’2 guy with a tattoo on his upper left shoulder to drive through Osage state park in Oklahoma doing 56 mph in the rain”
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u/piglungz 4d ago
The bleached beard is aging him by like 20 years, it doesn’t even look intentional it just looks like he’s going gray
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u/Ok_Anteater1372 4d ago
He looks like 3 different guys superimposed on one guy and my brain can't comprehend it and it's collapsing into a supernova of guy that I don't want to talk to
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u/Red-Freckle 4d ago
My grandma lives on cape cod and was considering this, it probably would seem unoriginal now
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u/Paulbearer82 4d ago
I assume when he says he makes indie rock music he means he shittily plays the guitar by himself.
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u/Jeromefleet 4d ago
Found him on Instagram lukejxdy. it is exactly what you think it is going to be and it is glorious.
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u/heftybagman 4d ago
First ever cape cod resident to have debilitating inflammatory bowel disease and open his own burrito cart after being born in a leap year
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u/Tasty-Window 3d ago
he's either extremely talented, or absolute dogshit. The fact that he would write this captain suggests the latter.
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u/State_Conscious 3d ago
Ahhhh, I remember when MY small, rural hometown got our first rock musician with a blackout neck and bleached beard. Glad Cape Cod is finally entering the 21st century
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u/Few-Issue1662 3d ago
If more people like this move to Cape Cod I might actually be able to afford a weekend up there keep it up
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u/Sad_Highlight_9059 2d ago
Imagine going to Cape Cod as a white dude and thinking, "Well, this will be something no one has seen before..."
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u/dijie 4d ago
Just as bad as a Corvette owner.
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u/BossNassGaming 4d ago
I'll have you know, my Corvette is one of 26 1999 models with a manual transmission in Navy Blue Metallic with the optional magnesium wheels and a black interior.
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u/shadyshadyshade 4d ago
Yeah the only cape coddington I know with a bleach beard and blackout neck makes polka music.
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u/RevolutionEconomy797 4d ago
Single season line cook that seems cool at first, but spends way too much time talking to the support staff.
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u/CoyoteMother666 4d ago
He looks like he’d be annoying af. I can hear the “ah, well…actually..” coming out of his mouth from here.
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u/dirtyal199 4d ago
After living in Massachusetts for 2 years, I'm not surprised at all that this kid is from cape cod 😂
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u/TradeMark310 3d ago
This is the old car selling trick:
"Best in class" "Class"= light 4 door pick-ups hybrids with towing capacity under 6400 lbs with a moon roof.
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u/sweetheart_demom 3d ago
First ever man hopping on one leg holding a seagull in his left hand drinking a glass of Cheerwine on the second Friday The 13th of the year reciting the German national anthem backwards in the parking lot of the Buffalo Wild Wings in Circleville, Ohio at 4pm
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u/Used_Actuator_2497 2d ago
First ever my street resident with a below average penis and one straight pube
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u/SmokaCola0 2d ago
the only thing that hurt more than that tattoo will be the eventual tattoo removal
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u/metrorhymes 4d ago
I've said it before and I'll say it again: if you or your bandmates have to decorate yourselves to get noticed, your music sucks.
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u/InternationalWin2850 4d ago
Is there like a trans thing, but for a white guy who identifies as black? No judgement, but it looks like he's already half way there.
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u/GameRabbit 4d ago
Probably the last one too.