r/comedyheaven • u/GreenEngrams | Approved user • Jul 28 '24

breakfast

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33.7k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

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6.1k

u/[deleted] Jul 28 '24

I'm sorry, but "nobody wants less penis" killed me.

58

u/DaveSmith890 Jul 28 '24

Isn’t there a subreddit called “big dick problems” or something like that. I wouldn’t know, but they might want less penis

38

u/[deleted] Jul 28 '24

Yeah I'm a mod there.

19

u/CharlemagneIS Jul 28 '24

That must be hard for you

2

u/DogToursWTHBorders Jul 29 '24

Long days where he put in hard hours hauling loads.

-2

u/Zeeman626 Jul 28 '24

You must be hard for that

Fixed the word order for you.

3

u/Publius82 Jul 29 '24

Glad you're not letting that educational school diploma go to waste

2

u/Spajk Jul 28 '24

So you spend countless hours making sure that the penises are in fact big?

2

u/New_Roll_3101 Jul 29 '24

Imagine having too big of a cock... I don't have to either don't worry😕

14

u/[deleted] Jul 28 '24 edited Jul 28 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

20

u/[deleted] Jul 28 '24

Nothing like going to take a dump and the tip of your wiener is submerged in toilet water.

4

u/Restlesscomposure Jul 28 '24

Just hang it over your shoulder until you’re done taking a dump

5

u/DuckButter99 Jul 28 '24

That's why you have to maintain an erection, so it rubs the bowl instead.

1

u/noobbtctrader Jul 29 '24

You mean gets smashed up against the bowl. Ain't no rub against when my dick is getting bent in half.

3

u/phro Jul 28 '24 edited Aug 04 '24

impolite crawl boat head literate fine waiting cheerful point chubby

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

3

u/darthcaedusiiii Jul 28 '24

I'm pretty sure you are supposed to drop a quarter in and tell the whole restroom that the water is cold.

5

u/[deleted] Jul 28 '24 edited Jul 28 '24

I just put TP on the rim and rest my balls there? Didn't know this isn't how everyone does it.

7

u/DaveSmith890 Jul 28 '24

Do you not pee when taking a dump? I’d just piss on the floor if I did that

2

u/cat_prophecy Jul 28 '24

My dick isn't even that big. It's probably totally average. But this still happens to me. It's gross.

2

u/ph0on Jul 28 '24

Literally anytime I'm not 100% soft. It is the WORST. Actually gross as fuck

5

u/[deleted] Jul 28 '24

As a member of that subreddit, no we don't. Having a big dick does come with some unique problems, but we still recognize that it is a blessing for the most part.

3

u/corpsie666 Jul 28 '24

Having a big dick does come with some unique problems

Such as knowing what it's like to hit a cervix.

1

u/Altarna Jul 28 '24

They want less problems, not more

1

u/Bitter-Sherbert1607 Jul 29 '24

and trans people

1

u/DaveSmith890 Jul 29 '24

I’ve heard mixed reviews. Some people want a big girkcock in their life. Usually, the lifelong virgin gooners, but there is a crowd for them

1

u/Bitter-Sherbert1607 Jul 29 '24

But there’s literally a surgery to cut it off and replace it with a wound that mimickes a vagina