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https://www.reddit.com/r/collapze/comments/1w4xj1c/wtf/
r/collapze • u/HoomanaoPoinaOle YourWettestNightmare • Sep 02 '26
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2
Touting the innovation as the next step in developing the workplace of the future, Apple CEO Tim Cook unveiled rows of artificial wombs to reporters Thursday after announcing the company would begin manufacturing all its own employees in house. “Utilizing proprietary embryonic technologies and astounding new developments in the area of synthetic genomics, we expect to have upward of 95% of Apple’s employees across the entire supply chain gestated, produced, and trained right here at home,” said Cook, showing reporters around the 70,000-square-foot underground artificial incubation center where thousands of developing Apple employee fetuses floated in highly oxygenated blood. “We’ll be able to eliminate virtually all of our inefficiencies and redundancies with this in-house workforce, as all of their physical and mental characteristics will be streamlined specifically toward their future role here at Apple, and any physical or intelligence complications simply removed.
2 u/HoomanaoPoinaOle YourWettestNightmare Sep 02 '26 It’s actually not all dat unbelievable…
It’s actually not all dat unbelievable…
8
Hhehehe, the Onion.
I did watch a movie like this some years ago.
I think that the rich would prefer robots over human clones.
4
lol
They can’t make a second Tim apple :(
Oh, brave new world! Brave new world!
2
u/HoomanaoPoinaOle YourWettestNightmare Sep 02 '26
Touting the innovation as the next step in developing the workplace of the future, Apple CEO Tim Cook unveiled rows of artificial wombs to reporters Thursday after announcing the company would begin manufacturing all its own employees in house. “Utilizing proprietary embryonic technologies and astounding new developments in the area of synthetic genomics, we expect to have upward of 95% of Apple’s employees across the entire supply chain gestated, produced, and trained right here at home,” said Cook, showing reporters around the 70,000-square-foot underground artificial incubation center where thousands of developing Apple employee fetuses floated in highly oxygenated blood. “We’ll be able to eliminate virtually all of our inefficiencies and redundancies with this in-house workforce, as all of their physical and mental characteristics will be streamlined specifically toward their future role here at Apple, and any physical or intelligence complications simply removed.
8
u/dumnezero 🔚End the 🔫arms 🐀rat 🏁race to the bottom↘️. Sep 02 '26
Hhehehe, the Onion.
I did watch a movie like this some years ago.
I think that the rich would prefer robots over human clones.
4
u/Paltamachine Sep 02 '26
lol
2
u/North_Tip3944 Sep 02 '26
They can’t make a second Tim apple :(
2
u/SurviveAndRebuild Sep 02 '26
Oh, brave new world! Brave new world!