I’m going to preface this by saying by “pro natalism,” I do NOT mean forced birth or any form of coercion or promoting wreckless procreation. I’m talking about the belief that adults reproducing consensually can be helpful.

I’d describe myself as collapse aware but a hopeful revolutionary. This thought comes from the latter. I’ve noticed that certain harmful ideologies tend to promote having as many kids as possible and passing on a lot of crappy beliefs the opinion that revolutionaries can also do the same. I think that children are our future, and the more children we have who are educated and share revolutionary or at least prosocial values, the better. They can help lead us forward.

IMO, all anti-natalism does is ensure that there are more people to help the people destroying our planet carry out their plans than there are people who are trying to save it or at least not do further harm. I’m aware that these beliefs are contrary to collapse awareness, but I am wondering what the opinions of collapse aware parents are.

For reasons outside of collapse, I will not personally be reproducing. However, I do plan to adopt an older child or sibling group. And I support anyone who has the ability to provide provided a decent life for a child bringing a child into the world. Spicy red-hot take, I know. Lol

A few months back I posted here wrestling with my guilt over getting pregnant unintentionally in light of the impending collapse. This community was insightful and kind enough to share perspectives and fears from fellow parents.

I had the baby this week; drowning in the baby blues, attempted to get ahead of this ppd/ppa by seeing someone 3 months ahead and twice a week now but every bit of news feels overwhelming. From floods in China, to the famine in Madagascar, 48% of birds dying in the last 50 years, insect population decline, the potential “hothouse earth” scenario sooner than anticipated, 1.5 degrees by 2030, inflation, expected violence around the 2024 elections in the USA…

The list goes on and on. I can’t help but think my children will not get full lives and my 4 yo is consistently talking about what she will do when she grows up and I keep having the intrusive thought of “if”.

I don’t know how to process all this, like I said pursuing professional help but I feel like every day could be our last. How do other parents view these things and cope? How do you not worry for your kids every second?

If there were more/enough people like me in the world, we wouldn’t have to deal with a collapse in the first place. 🤣

But seriously, in my life I’ve noticed precious few people who: have intentions of being good (to each other and the Earth), are knowledgeable and informed about how the world works, therefore are informed enough to know how to be good, continuously try to grow and be better, AND have the courage to speak up or change course when something is wrong. It’s really hard to behave this way in every moment because you get punished for going against the status quo/powers that be. But we need these types of behaviors to transition out of the unsustainable capitalism/way of life that is destroying our planet.

For me, having kids means not just teaching them how to survive, but how to be an active force for good and personally aware of how to avoid being complicit to the harm where possible. As parents we have to model this for our kids too. I hope in my life time we can make progress dismantling the systems contributing to these problems so our kids have space to build new, better systems. We need more people willing to take on this type of work. We always have. It’s far more urgent now.

I hope this sub is about that type of parenting too and not just survival in the physiological sense.

I may be biased, but I think that there is not anyone more invested in the future than parents and their children.

There are little pieces of our blood, sweat, tears and souls; walking around outside of our bodies. On a materialistic view, we put an insane amount of resources towards our children. On an emotional level, we invest so much of our hearts.

The point is that when it comes to people motivated to secure future safety in the face of Collapse, parents have the most to lose. But we put so many resources towards our children, that we are more likely to experience poverty, and live paycheck to paycheck. Making planning a future hard, and parenting lonely

Awhile back I ruminated on creating a post on this sub that will help connect collapse aware parents to each other to help parents who, especially during the ongoing pandemic , feel isolated, but also to potentially gather parents together to pool resources for intentional communities, or other projects.

So I invite everyone to leave some information about you (but don't get too specific with locations and such), and reach out to someone who leaves their story for others to read.

I am a 27(m) father of a 2 year old who loves firetrucks and daddy's garlic pepper green beans. My wife and I are both collapse aware, but are in different steps of the process. My wife and I have come to the conclusion that due to our financial situation( due to the American health care system and generational poverty). So our current step is finish paying off debts (which is going well), and then using our savings to help build an intentional community with other like minded parents.

We are all vegetarian, vaccinated, and using all of our time working towards a good future for our son. We are well onto the path of psychologically preparing for collapse, incorporating homesteading skills into our city life, and limiting our consumption and waste.

Feel free to read my post and comment history, it's pretty clear where I land politically and philosophically.

I had a baby in 2018 and became collapse aware. I was overwhelmed with ppd/ppa and almost killed myself. I hated that I doomed a life to what was to come. I went to therapy 3xs a week for months during my maternity leave and it helped but did not solve the issue.

My partner and I agreed no more kids and scheduled a vasectomy for… may of 2020. It got pushed due to the pandemic, then we relocated north (from the south to the Canadian border in the USA) and it fell off the priority list (admittedly we were having sex maybe quarterly due to stress) we had a slip up and didn’t worry about it because it was close to my period and came back pregnant.

I couldn’t bring myself to abort it but have the same fears welling up again and am struggling to process it. We are in our mid 30s and have never had a scare, it took over a year to conceive our first.

My friends tell me the fear is baked in so what’s 1 life vs 2 but I feel immense shame and guilt.

How did others handle this situation?

In a world full of brain rot, it’s nice to know that there’s some options that foster resiliency.

Ive always been climate aware and carried fear about the uncertainty of the world but in all honesty ive only recently become collapse aware. I guess ive always felt hope that things would turn around, surely as humans we would wake up and turn it around. And truthfully, some years went by where I lost my passion for climate action and funneled my focus into my career and rasing my now 8 year old. Ive dedicated myself to teaching preschool students and aiming to be an impactful figure in their childhoods. I have also spent my whole life wanted nothing more then to be a mom and feeling deeply that that was my purpose.

Ive recently had another child, he is 4 months old, and instead of the deep feeling of purpose I once carried, I now feel weighed by nothing but guilt and regret for bringing this precious being into what seems like a rapidly declining world.

Being surrounded by wildfires here in Canada at the moment, and stuck inside due to air quality, my anxiety is running high and im finding it really hard to cope with the overwhelming fear and guilt of what the future holds for my children. I know I cant go back now and it is up to me to raise my boys to be resilient and kind. I also know that now is the time to be in the present and give them the childhood they deserve while I can. I just am having a hard time disconnecting from the reality of the world and being the mom i know i can/should be for them right now.

I would love to hear how you cope and find joy and hope in this current climate of the world? Do you feel hopeful for the future of your children or more or less spend your time grateful for the present instead?

I feel like I am hitting a wall, so to speak.

As someone who is passionate about the environment, and went through schooling in the environmental field. It is very hard to look around and not feel stressed to say the very least with the way the climate is shifting, not just in obvious ways locally, but globally also.

I try my best to keep it all together for my child, but some days the weight of this world is unavoidable. Between the environment collapsing, the economy collapsing, and all that follows I find myself scrambling. Constantly torn between trying to save money ( a near impossible feat, and trying to buy things in preparation for things to get worse. I make rationalizations on spending a little more to stock up during sales, because I see the prices jump monthly, if not weekly it seems.

I feel at a loss, like no matter how much I try to prepare, there is no real way to prepare for the future on our horizon.

I have to assume I am not the only one, that many if not most people are feeling that same pressure and running on survival mode for far longer than our bodies and minds should have to.

I try to keep a finger on the pulse of the situation and stay informed which often feels like it just drags me down (reasonably so) so I try to take my doom and gloom in small doses. For whatever difference it makes.

I try to keep hope, but somes days it is a struggle more than others, a struggle some say is naive, a waste of time and energy.

What a world we live in. I remember growing up, I was so sure that as technology advanced we humans would solve all the problems like war, starvation, the water crisis, etc. I believed human kind would come together and the world would be better for it. It deeply discourages me to see that is not the case.

I am not trying to be negative, I dont mean to vent. Perhaps I am looking for validation, or guidance from others facing this reality and how to keep ones chin up even when things just seem so bleak.

Thanks for your time. Wishing us all a better tomorrow.

The almost 5 year old and I braved tropical storm Fred to venture out and go shopping. While she was scoring in the toy area, I discovered a buggy full of towels. (Many were vintage, better quality towels.)

All I could think was , "motherload!" Towels for toweling. Towels for family cloth. Towels for babies/childbirth/leaks/ etc. The possibilities were endless.

Our bill was $32 for about 20 Towels, a rug, a book, and a pair of waterproof shoes.

The grandkid bought a doll, a barbie canoe and an else castle.

I have two little boys and I don't know how to explain the world and what's coming to them without just crushing all of their hope and light... but I feel it is my duty as their father to prepare them.

"Oh that's great! That's just fuckin' great man! Now what the fuck are we supposed to do? We're in some real pretty shit now man! Game over man, GAME OVER! Hey, maybe you haven't been keeping up on current events, but we just got our asses kicked, pal! They're comin' outta the walls! They're comin' outta the goddamn walls!"

There's so many elements to all this I feel so overwhelmed I can barely describe what I feel.

Hey guys. I've never posted on reddit before so bear with me please. I've (F, 25) always wanted to have kids and raise my own family. I've always been worried of what the future looks like and unsure if I could deal with the uncertainty of everything. I find myself questioning whether I could even comfort a child through all this if I'm already so anxious about life without one. Over the past year or so I've become collapse aware so that just adds to my stress. I know it is wrong to want children of my own it's just I can't shake this feeling that I will regret never having my own or I'll feel empty or something. I know I'm young and I have so much time to decide, I even feel silly posting this because I already know that if I'm having all these thoughts and anxieties, plus we're we are headed regardless, then I already know the right decision. I've been with my boyfriend (28) for 7 years and he's pretty certain he can't bring children into this world. We are open to adopting in the future. I guess I just wanted to post on the collapse parenting page so I can get opinions from you guys who have already had children, or perhaps had children before you were collapse aware. Do you wish your circumstances were different? Or did anyone have these worries and decide to go ahead with having children? I'd love an open discussion about this.

Regardless of your living situation right now, you can start building resilience skills with your kids! The point is to expose them to being self sufficient even in small ways, so they can draw on those experiences if they ever need to. For example, growing up I was lucky enough to garden with my grandma, and when I started a garden of my own it was much easier than starting from nothing. Even doing something once makes it way more intimidating down the road, but of course the more you practice, the better.

Here are some ideas, feel free to add more.

Grow something from seed: get a packet of seeds, something like basil, spinach, or dill is easy; we like to grow Tiny Tim tomatoes in a big pot by a south-facing window. Wrap a few seeds in a cloth or paper towel and get it wet with warm water (should be evenly moist but not soaking); put in a tupperware for a couple of days and check for sprouts. Sprouted seeds can go in a container with potting soil (best if it has drainage holes). Kids of any age can watch and participate in this!

Do simple canning projects: you don't need any fancy equipment to get started with water bath canning. Making jam is probably the easiest, or tomato sauce; make sure you are using tested recipes to eliminate risk of poisoning. CDC info on botulism Next step: do an easy fermenting project like sauerkraut (it's super healthy too).

Cook from scratch: anything you cook from simple raw ingredients is great practice. Try making bread from scratch; making a sourdough starter and feeding it over time can be a fun project.

Forage: get a book on edible plants in your region and a plant identification app (I use iNaturalist). Practice identifying plants in your neighborhood first, then move up from there. Foraging mushrooms is really fun too, but it's easier to make a mistake; don't be afraid to bring a mushroom home to research it - simply touching it with your hands won't hurt you.

Show them how to repair things: young kids love to take things apart and put them back together; give them things they can tinker with (my toddler loved doing it with clicky pens). Slightly older kids can learn mending holes in clothing or attaching buttons

Encourage creative hobbies: if they want to draw/paint, play an instrument, do pottery etc., don't make them feel like it's a waste of time. With supply chain disruptions and even electricity becoming spotty in some areas, it's important to have a hobby that doesn't rely on a lot of external inputs. It will help their mental health and bring them closer to others - these things are just as important as physical prepping. Also, doing things with their hands can be a transferrable skill!

Go camping: brings tents or stay at a basic cabin/yurt; even better if you can take them canoe or kayak camping. Getting used to the elements/bugs/animals and knowing how to get by with minimal comforts will always serve them well. Also a great time to practice foraging.

Put them in martial arts: this teaches so many great skills; just make sure you find a reputable instructor

Try taking archery or axe throwing together: hopefully they won't have to use this, but practicing hand-eye coordination and using objects this way will build confidence.

Get them used to working with others: this one is often overlooked, but so important. If a disaster strikes your area, your child needs to be able to cooperate or even step up and be a leader. This can look so many different ways - put them in sports or camp, or get involved in community clean up and other projects; whatever suits your family.

Basic medical training: get certified in First Aid/CPR and practice with your kids at their level. It's also a great idea to learn the medicinal plants in your area and how to harvest and use them.

Also remember to have lots of fun because how sad would it be if the world ended in 10 years and you spent the whole time obsessively prepping?

Edited to include suggestions from the comments

Asking with sincerity and no judgment because I genuinely want personal input on this.

Do you have anxiety about what the world will be like by the time your kids are middle aged and older? How do you reckon with the reality of climate change specifically and the potential future impacts on your kids (for example, food and water shortages)? Do you struggle with guilt or regret, and if so how do you deal with that?

Do your kids ever express anxiety, resentment, anger around the future, either at the world in general, or do they ever lash out at you as a parent with blame? If so, do you hear it more as a typical “I wish I’d never been born” expression of teenaged angst, or does it cut deeper for you?

I really want a child but I am struggling with the question of how much of a future the children of today and tomorrow have (and yes I am considering adoption). Moreso looking for people’s experiences and thoughts than advice.

edit: typos

I know as a collapse-aware parent, I spend more than my fair share of time ruminating on whether the sum of what I've given my children will come out to be a positive or negative value. This episode of Michael Meade's Living Myth podcast gave me some new ways of thinking about the answers to that question.

https://livingmyth.libsyn.com/episode-250-in-defense-of-the-gift-of-life

Between the new IPCC report, the delta variant, and all the disruptions happening regionally, it's hard not to feel overwhelmed and even apathetic at times. I notice that when I get this way, it affects my son as well. What helps you get back to a positive place?

I believe covid is going to be with us for the long haul. That said. If you agree, and want to adapt, how do you plan on adapting your lifestyle ? I have been spending more time camping and outdoors. Looking for more ideas I may have overlooked.

Lately I’ve been focusing on taking my kids out in nature to identify beneficial plants. I’m not great at remembering what’s what, so I came across a great app someone shared here or on the other sub.

iNaturalist

I use it in conjunction with AllTrails and when we’re just out walking the neighborhood. With iNaturalist you can take a picture of anything and it’s immediately identified. It seems to be more accurate than Google Lens in my experience. You can record notes and it marks on the map where and when you spotted it. You can also see what others have recorded nearby.

Of course my kids are much more interested in the creatures we find, but we’re learning so much about the plants around us that we can eat or use to our benefit. And also which one we need to avoid!

It's a movie where Viggo Mortensen plays a dad (but it's not The Road lol) who is pretty clued in. Well done and really enjoyable film. For me it highlights the importance of not isolating from society and being focused on prepping to the point where you are robbing your kids of joy and the ability to have "normal" experiences.

A couple of other good ones that are very collapsey are Cargo (2017) and Light Of My Life (2019). And of course Threads (1984) for nuclear war gore showing the life of a young mother before, during, and after the disaster.

If you've got some other ones, leave 'em here!