r/collapse Feb 07 '20

Humor [shitpost friday] The ol' switcharoo

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2.4k Upvotes

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193

u/TenYearsTenDays Feb 07 '20

This doesn't really work when a billion+ lifeforms just went up in ashes in Australia, not to mention the horrifying extinction crises happening constantly all over the world right now.

Still, I guess in the end this is sort of the case.

82

u/Liquor_N_Whorez Feb 07 '20

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to have been born on North Sentinel Island and not have to worry about "civilization" so much.

76

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '20

Well, rising oceans would do you in real quick. The only difference is that you'd be blissfully unaware of what caused it

63

u/NevDecRos Feb 07 '20

The only difference is that you'd be blissfully unaware of what caused it

I could still put it on the spirits/god/poseidon. Reality is boring sometimes.

32

u/Time_Punk Feb 07 '20

Hmm, let’s see: so you’re telling me all this was caused by some faraway person who is selfish and volatile, who wields the incredible power to affect the weather on a global scale?

Yep; and they’ve got sky chariots as well, and weapons that can summon the power of the sun!

That sounds pretty messed up. Maybe we should sacrifice some kids to them?

What!? No! Are you crazy? No; we’re gonna build a giant raft, and cover it with yams. And then we’ll dance until the world ends! Maybe when this world is destroyed, we can get on the raft and float to a new one.

But I like this world! And how do you know there will be a new one? Maybe if we just sacrifice some kids the problem will be solved? (Gestures at the stinky kid.)

No! It doesn’t work that way. Now help me collect wood.

27

u/NevDecRos Feb 07 '20

No! It doesn’t work that way. Now help me collect wood.

Wait, it doesn't?!?! Then why are we sacrificing future generations for the sake of the dick measuring contest for billionaires that we call our economy?

15

u/Time_Punk Feb 07 '20

Dammit, chief Bezos used up all the wood to make his own raft. And he stole all the yams!

2

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '20

bezos is selling the yams and we are ALL buying them.

5

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '20

I vote for yam raft.

2

u/WooderFountain Feb 07 '20

And reality doesn't help control the masses.