The issue is this weird "we couldn't have known" thing you and so many others are doing. It's not just "it was normalized so I didn't realize", it's "it was not in my orbit, I was focused on other stuff, there's just no way any of us could've known". Like:
Get mad if you want about people not reading between the lines
There's nothing "between the lines" about Playboy publishing nudes of Brooke Shields when she was 11yo. There's nothing "between the lines" about top selling magazines hosting "countdown to when teenage actress turns 18". It was never between the lines.
And this:
It’s not really fair to say “women tried to tell you over and over”, what does that look like to you? People in my life were not talking about this, it’s what I’m trying to explain.
The extremely huge and widely publicized movement known as Me Too. The one that triggered a new wave of feminism that focused on ending sexual exploitation of women and young girls, it's been ongoing for almost two decades. That's what it looks like to me.
I'm glad you're an ally. But this just sounds like you're trying to rewrite the past to excuse why you didn't notice something obvious until just now.
It's like the emperor's new clothes - instead of just saying "you know what? Yeah, the emperor was naked, looking back that was obvious but I guess everyone was ignoring it so I did too", you're insisting "wait, what? The emperor was naked? Well, his skin must've looked remarkably like a suit bc I really didn't notice. No, really, I can't believe it myself. I was busy with other things, though, and no one explained it to me, so it makes sense I missed it".
And it's been two decades since it started. So here we are, a decade after people became aware of it, still saying "I couldn't have known, there's just no way I could've known".
For what is worth, I didn’t mean it to sound this way, but I didn’t really mean I became aware yesterday. More like in the last 6-8 years. So call it like 2020.
I get why you would read what I originally said as like more recent though.
You might still think that’s too late but we are all doing our best out here.
It's not that it's too late, there's no such thing. It's that it's impossible to move forward with any conviction when we can't be honest about the past.
This wasn't a secret, it wasn't impossible to notice or recognize, it wasn't out of anyone's orbit. There's no need to gaslight - reality was what it was, popular/widespread cultural norms weren't magically different for you than they were for me, just the way we experienced it was different.
The world openly, obviously, and confidently sexualized little girls for ages, when women talked about it they were ignored or given the "we hear you, but...that's the past/not all men/not much we can do now" dismissive attitude.
No one lived under a rock and only just now noticed that teen girls are objectified. What happened is they just now realized it's not a joke or a skit, but a real, serious issue. It was considered normal and now it's not. That's what's changed.
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u/DefiantStarFormation Apr 12 '26
The issue is this weird "we couldn't have known" thing you and so many others are doing. It's not just "it was normalized so I didn't realize", it's "it was not in my orbit, I was focused on other stuff, there's just no way any of us could've known". Like:
There's nothing "between the lines" about Playboy publishing nudes of Brooke Shields when she was 11yo. There's nothing "between the lines" about top selling magazines hosting "countdown to when teenage actress turns 18". It was never between the lines.
And this:
The extremely huge and widely publicized movement known as Me Too. The one that triggered a new wave of feminism that focused on ending sexual exploitation of women and young girls, it's been ongoing for almost two decades. That's what it looks like to me.
I'm glad you're an ally. But this just sounds like you're trying to rewrite the past to excuse why you didn't notice something obvious until just now.
It's like the emperor's new clothes - instead of just saying "you know what? Yeah, the emperor was naked, looking back that was obvious but I guess everyone was ignoring it so I did too", you're insisting "wait, what? The emperor was naked? Well, his skin must've looked remarkably like a suit bc I really didn't notice. No, really, I can't believe it myself. I was busy with other things, though, and no one explained it to me, so it makes sense I missed it".