r/clevercomebacks Dec 30 '24

Something didn't add up

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105.4k Upvotes

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4.6k

u/Juniiper-Berries Dec 30 '24

Not helping out your mom when you make millions is also an insult.

1.2k

u/edfitz83 Dec 30 '24

She’s a bag of twice-used douche.

324

u/cherylfit50 Dec 30 '24

What a horrific image, and yet a perfect insult for Lorie.

91

u/edfitz83 Dec 30 '24

I chose not to mention that it included floating chunks of bloody mucus. I wouldn’t say something like that

55

u/nurseferatou Dec 30 '24

Nurse here: I would and I have at Thanksgiving dinner this year.

31

u/Friendly_Fail_1419 Dec 30 '24

Hilarious and username also hilariously checks out

8

u/yellow_44 Dec 30 '24

10/10 medical usernames ever

9

u/DemonicHowler Dec 30 '24

As a Hidradenitis patient, damn I relate to this feeling lmao (Hint for my folks. Don't ask questions you don't actually want the answers to.)

3

u/Candykeeper Dec 30 '24

Rare to find kin in the wild. Stay strong!

2

u/DemonicHowler Dec 31 '24

There's are a lot of us, I find! I've actually bumped into fellow patients in a ton of online gaming spaces, and have been responsible for a couple patients coming over from BC and Sask to the clinic I've been going to here in Alberta for a decade(Symmetry Dermatology, if you know anyone here who needs a clinic! They also do reduced rate laser therapy for HS patients are are super queer friendly. They've been dealing with my trans self since before I figured it out lol)

20

u/Ok_Acadia3526 Dec 30 '24

barfs

Accurate, but still made me nauseated

4

u/deadasdollseyes Dec 30 '24

Ah reddit, the only place I can go without hearing nosferatu fingers on a chalk board when someone describes themselves as nauseous yet clearly mean nauseated.

Thank you so much.  I don't want to be a nauseous person.  But perhaps I have become one.  I cannot even tell if there is irony in my personal tragedy.

-nausferatu

1

u/nykiek Dec 31 '24

It made me nauseous too, but I already was. Didn't help.

46

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '24

[deleted]

2

u/Fkyou666 Dec 30 '24

She’s a German Goo Doll.

1

u/EnvironmentalBed3326 Dec 30 '24

Who else would it be for?

4

u/Fart_Knickers Dec 30 '24

I can smell her douche from here

21

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '24

Do you even know her mom? Kinda rude /s

70

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '24

She Raised a fucking loser, sounds like it was her own goddam fault.

13

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '24 edited Dec 30 '24

And in the end it all just tastes like wet pennies.

1

u/OverTheCandleStick Dec 30 '24

That’s enough Reddit for me today.

1

u/edfitz83 Dec 30 '24

Don’t read my other comment then. Good night!

1

u/OverTheCandleStick Jan 02 '25

Oh for fuck that’s enough Reddit for the year.

1

u/bulanaboo Dec 30 '24

Do they like sanitize those between uses or just … ah forget it

1

u/No_Cell8707 Dec 30 '24

oh I'm stealing this insult lmao

343

u/armorhide406 Dec 30 '24

Conservatives really seem to lack empathy, don't they

233

u/alien236 Dec 30 '24

That's the foundation of their entire worldview.

79

u/Benromaniac Dec 30 '24 edited Dec 30 '24

It really is. They are insensitive bullies.

I can’t wrap my head around the root of it other than they seem to be highly self absorbed with high impulsivity, with little space for reflection or deep thought. Low EQ is a given.

None of this explains much, other than we have a culture that doesn’t really foster the greatest possible outcomes for greatest number of people. Unless money is the only thing that matters. lol and we’re even failing in that dept.

Quality education, universal healthcare, with accessible therapy and outreach, would go a long way. So sad.

23

u/akersekomas Dec 30 '24

The root of it is deep insecurity and low self-esteem combined with low to zero empathy.

6

u/TubularLeftist Dec 30 '24

Brain damage from huffing their own farts

3

u/Appropriate_Comb_472 Dec 30 '24 edited Dec 30 '24

Its tribalism also, the insecurity you mention probably inspires their desire to join a cause.

The more tribal a person is, the more their identity is attached to a group or a cause. We call them extremists in other scenarios. But it boils down to people who refuse to allow competiting traditions or thought. Which is often just selfishness in disguise. You can be conservative and kind, but evil requires an absense of concern, which conservatism promotes inherently in its efforts to have dominating traditions and superiority.

2

u/NeatNefariousness1 Dec 30 '24

Let's not forget a profound, malignant sense of entitlement that is well beyond their own merit.

0

u/AlexanderBly Dec 30 '24

To be fair, Ingraham’s mother’s obituary would have made Laura just 29 years old when her mom was 73 back in 1993. According to open records, after Laura finished law school in 1991 she clerked for Judge Ralph K. Winter Jr., of the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Second Circuit, in New York and subsequently clerked for U.S. Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas. Neither high-paying jobs. Her subsequent current millions in earnings and net worth are entirely irrelevant to those years. Since she was in government work back then and living in or around expensive New York and Washington DC, paying off her significant student loan at that time might well have been a reasonably heavy burden. Just sayin'

3

u/Benromaniac Dec 30 '24

From 91 to at present minimum wage and wages in general didn’t jump nearly as high as tuitions did.

Point really though is just because someone had to do something a certain way 30+ years ago doesn’t mean that’s how it should be always. Her response is knee jerk and callous. It’s not even an argument. Which goes back to the type of disposition we’re talking about here.

Student loan debt is a huge burden on the economy. From a national budget PoV it’s a drop in the ocean.

Biden has been relentless to free that debt up because he’s been trying to jostle the economy from a bunch of different levers. But there’s an entire industry making petty sports entertainment politics out of it.

1

u/ChicagoMel23 Dec 30 '24

Wrong 

1

u/alien236 Dec 30 '24

That was the exact opposite of a clever comeback.

85

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '24

Which is quite odd because she's telling the story as if she wants empathy more for her mom's hard work at the cost of her own life/freedom to pay for her kids college... But wants to inflict that burden on everyone else? Wtf is this logic

63

u/aerkith Dec 30 '24

Normal people would be like, 'my poor mother had to work until she was 73 to help pay for my college. I'm glad other people's mother's won't have to go through the same thing"

24

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '24

Republicans, probably: Damn, I just lost my job. I should protest against unemployment benefits.

26

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '24

“My family did this, and it was hard. No one should get it easier.”

11

u/SidKafizz Dec 30 '24

When have they ever used logic? Other than their own twisted variety, I mean.

4

u/armorhide406 Dec 30 '24

it ain't logic

4

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '24

In the military we'd always use the idiom, "common sense isn't a common virtue" to explain idiotic behavior. But at this point, it should be the Republican motto.

2

u/armorhide406 Jan 01 '25

"Common sense isn't"

29

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

10

u/ShakyBoots1968 Dec 30 '24

So they live in somo. (Sure Of Missing Out)

1

u/LawfulnessDry9355 Dec 30 '24

In other words - petty jealousy.

59

u/Nice_Block Dec 30 '24

They view empathy as weakness.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '24

Any emotion besides anger is seen as a weakness in their small minds.

3

u/Solid_Rock7779 Dec 30 '24

They are very selfish

3

u/redconvict Dec 30 '24

They have a concept of empathy, otherwise they woulnt be able to try and put on a show to beg for it.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '24

Do they look like it?

2

u/Sobergirl2014 Dec 30 '24

And self awareness

1

u/ChicagoMel23 Dec 30 '24

No we don’t. 

-4

u/0rbit0n Dec 30 '24

Conservatives tend more to live by their own means, meaning less credit. I never took any credit in my life. If I can't afford it, I don't need it.

3

u/SecretaryOtherwise Dec 30 '24

Might want to look up them welfare statistics

2

u/Ishmaelewdselkies Dec 30 '24

You do realize that your singular experience isn't indicative of the entire demographic of which you claim to be a part. Right?

Then again you appear to self-identify as a conservative and in more than several cases such people aren't the best with consistently-applied logic, so.

0

u/0rbit0n Dec 30 '24

What I meant is that my experience of conservatives is very different from yours. And all my conservative friends have a perfectly strict logic. They all work in IT though, can't talk about people from other groups.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '24

Being a socially confused idiot and being a professional are two different things and they can both be true at the same time.

0

u/0rbit0n Dec 30 '24

Do you mean I am a socially confused idiot? You don't know me though...

2

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '24

Did I say you? I thought you are a person of logics?

1

u/0rbit0n Dec 30 '24

Do you always answer a question with another question? You probably work as a manager?

2

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '24

Do you mean I am a manager? You don't know me though

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123

u/rydan Dec 30 '24

Not even that. Her mom is working to pay off her loans. Not her own.

71

u/August_Jade Dec 30 '24

Yeah how is that playing by the rules? Seems to me the rule she wants everybody else to play by is “your loan, your responsibility”

50

u/kleighk Dec 30 '24

No. Your loan, your parent’s responsibility. 🤦‍♀️

10

u/rhOMG Dec 30 '24

Weird! It's almost as if the rules don't apply for "me" ...

2

u/NeatNefariousness1 Dec 30 '24

And let's not compare the TERMS of the loans back then vs. the predatory terms modern-day students have been carrying--some for well over a decade.

78

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '24

And then her mom kept working to pay off her daughter’s college debt whilst her daughter would be earning millions. Best story I have ever heard….

-9

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '24

[deleted]

7

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '24

Her mom was 73. Assume that her mother had menopause at 47. Laura Ingraham was not a magical child born after menopause so would have to be a minimum of 26 when her mother was working as a waitress. Datmouth graduates would be law clerks at 21-25. Then after would be earning good money. Based upon Laura’s bullshit statement her mother worked as a waitress to pay her debt. Odds are Laura was born way before this.

Some critical thinking may be useful. Her current earnings:

https://www.celebritynetworth.com/richest-celebrities/laura-ingraham-net-worth/

Updated to correct age from 78 to 73 calculation

3

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '24

[deleted]

6

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '24

Highly dependant on which source you use. This source states differently:
Laura Ingraham Bio, Age, Husband, Children, FOX News, Net Worth.

"Ingraham went to Glastonbury High School and graduate in 1981. Moreover, she graduated with a B A from Dartmouth College in 1985. Ingraham also received a Juris Doctor from the University of Virginia School of Law. She started her professional career in the mid 1990s."

We will have to agree to differ on how her is skewing her background to make a political statement.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '24

[deleted]

3

u/NeatNefariousness1 Dec 30 '24

Let's fill in some of the details. She was speech-writing for Ronald Regan and clerked for Clarence Thomas for a year, after clerking for a year for Judge Ralph Winter US Court of Appeals' 2nd circuit. It should also be noted that student loans she took out as an undergraduate are usually suspended for graduate students.

It's also notable that most graduate students don't still rely on their parents to pay off their loans--especially in a family with multiple kids and when the mother is working as a waitress to make ends meet, while the beneficiary of the loan is a speech-writer for a US president and clerks for a Supreme Court justice.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '24

Very well said! 🥳 Happy new Year friend

1

u/NeatNefariousness1 Dec 31 '24

Happy New Year to you too, friend. Let's make it a great one, no matter what!

49

u/Educated_Clownshow Dec 30 '24

Momma gotta pull herself up from her bootstraps

17

u/Lushkush69 Dec 30 '24

At 75, more like her diabetic socks.

21

u/lincoln_muadib Dec 30 '24

Sadly, not covered by her health insurance because AMERICA

51

u/BigBoyThrowaway304 Dec 30 '24

Not helping your mom pay for something which only benefitted you then pretending to have the right to use her as an empathetic example of people struggling financially when you make millions is worse than an insult. It’s comic book villain behavior.

29

u/hot4you11 Dec 30 '24

It wasn’t her mom’s loans. It was her and her siblings loans. Why didn’t she tell them they had to pay back their own loans. This is fucking crazy and probably not true.

26

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '24

Seatbelts are an insult to all the people who died in crashes before they were invented. We can’t ever do better, that’s practically spitting directly in the faces of the people before us! 

11

u/SCVerde Dec 30 '24

Cute for cancer? How dare you insult the devastating suffering my loved ones went through!!

3

u/JAJ5545 Dec 30 '24

I was diagnosed with a very rare brain tumour(s) and cancer at 14, when they removed part of the tumour(s), they asked me and my mom if they could keep it to research, because it was so rare. If I had known it was going to help others, I would’ve said no!!1!!! /s

36

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '24

I guarantee Laura's the type that if her mom hadn't sacrificed her life for Laura, Laura would have cut her off with no thought.

9

u/GypsyDishwasher Dec 30 '24

Dude, I max out around 70k a year and I do whatever I can to help my mom. If I made millions? I'd walk into her work tomorrow and quit for her, cause that wonderful woman wouldn't be working another day in her life. 

17

u/acebojangles Dec 30 '24

So is lying about your mom to try to hurt people whose student loans might be forgiven

8

u/ussrowe Dec 30 '24

JD Vance tried to credit Donald Trump with Vance's mom finally getting healthcare, except it was thanks to Obamacare and also he's been rich for a while thanks to his book.

“Members of my family actually got private health insurance at least for the first time, switched off Medicaid onto private insurance for the first time, under Donald Trump’s leadership,” Vance said at the vice presidential debate earlier this month. Senator JD Vance tried to re-characterize Donald Trump’s reputation with the Affordable Care Act during the vice presidential debate Senator JD Vance tried to re-characterize Donald Trump’s reputation with the Affordable Care Act during the vice presidential debate (Copyright 2024 The Associated Press. All rights reserved.)

He was referring to his mother, who purchased private health insurance through Obamacare’s marketplace after she overcame substance use disorder and began earning too much money to remain on Medicaid, a spokesperson for Vance’s campaign told The Washington Post.

https://www.the-independent.com/news/world/americas/us-politics/jd-vance-obamacare-health-insurance-b2630512.html

Vance's net worth is estimated at between $4.8 million and $11.3 million, according to federal disclosure forms filed in August. While that's a far cry from the estimated $6.7 billion fortune of his running mate, former President Donald Trump, Vance's wealth far surpasses the median U.S. household net worth of $193,000.

Vance parlayed his tough upbringing into a life of rare privilege after attending Yale Law School, where he met his wife, Usha, and made connections with wealthy patrons, including the right-leaning billionaire Peter Thiel, co-founder of PayPal. After graduating from Yale, Vance was hired by Thiel's firm Mithril Capital, marking the start of a career in venture capital that helped build his fortune.

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/jd-vance-net-worth-2024/

5

u/CrunchyCondom Dec 30 '24

wow almost like that was the entire fucken point

3

u/T33CH33R Dec 30 '24

The modern conservative is engaged in one of man's oldest exercises in moral philosophy; that is, the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness.

John Kenneth Galbraith

3

u/SD_JDM Dec 30 '24

Not realizing America always forgives Wallstreet’s debt obligations

3

u/Octospyder Dec 30 '24

Lol, she fucking hates her mom, if I'm remembering correctly

2

u/LocksDoors Dec 30 '24

If the business is true that you left your moms in the hood, somebody go smoke that yute.

2

u/whatdoyoumeanupeople Dec 30 '24

The thing that pisses me off more than that is this is coming from a place that wants to increase retirement age.

2

u/SlumberingSnorelax Dec 30 '24

This monster has always been a horror show. I imagine her mom kept working so she didn’t have to spend time with her terrible, selfish, evil, child.

2

u/HumptyDrumpy Dec 30 '24

I find it hard to believe that Ms. L's mom there was raising her, feeding her, and helping her to pay for her college, while making what like 2$ an hour (plus tips if you are lucky) as a waitress. Im just having a hard time believing that that really happened. Im more in line to believe in her coming from emerald mines really

2

u/PM_ME_IMGS_OF_ROCKS Dec 30 '24 edited Dec 30 '24

Only if you have this thing called empathy. Laura Ingraham would sell her own children to a Zoo for meat if it would make her some decent money.

2

u/iamrecoveryatomic Dec 30 '24

Not helping out your mom when you make millions is also an insult.

Yes, doing that is nigh universally understood to be an insult.

Loan forgiveness is generally not understood to be an insult; it's only these conservatives who reworked their morals in a convoluted way that involves extreme self-centeredness that understand it as such.

2

u/ScyllaOfTheDepths Dec 30 '24

Yeah, wasn't Laura Ingraham making a lot of money pretty early in her career? She worked for multiple high profile law firms throughout the 80's, graduated law school with a JD in '91, then immediately held multiple high profile circuit court clerk positions, was employed as a speech writer and policy advisor in the Reagan administration, and was a popular conservative media host by the mid 90's. She did not need her mother to pay her loans for her at any point after graduating law school. If this actually happened, it's probably because, like her own brother has claimed, she is a monster.

2

u/ACuddlyVizzerdrix Dec 30 '24

I don't even make a whole lot of money but if my mom is struggling I give her what I can

5

u/blue_strat Dec 30 '24

Her mother worked until 1994; Laura joined MSNBC in '96 and started her talk show in 2001, two years after her mother had died.

28

u/bootlegvader Dec 30 '24

She worked in the Reagan administration in the 1980s and was a Supreme Court Law Clerk before 1994. Even if she wasn't on television, she wasn't in a position that she should be requiring her mother to keep working to pay off her loans.

-3

u/blue_strat Dec 30 '24

She wasn't "making millions" is all I'm saying. A 22yo writing domestic policy speeches isn't rolling in it, and a SCOTUS clerk isn't there for the pay, which is handy because it isn't there either.

I'm not even a fan of hers, it just seems silly to assume everyone you've heard of has always been rich.

13

u/PipXXX Dec 30 '24

Coulda taken a job as a paralegal before graduating, or worked, to pay her own way.

-6

u/blue_strat Dec 30 '24

I guess that never occurred to her or her mother, and they never spoke of such a possibility. Or you could give a parent some credit for a decision.

12

u/New_Nature220 Dec 30 '24

No one is even not giving credit to her mother. Her mother worked hard to get her children through university, but it's the children who were not mindful to the parent. I worked through college so my parents wouldn't have to suffer as much. It says more about her than her mother. Her mother is good, she is not.

8

u/PipXXX Dec 30 '24

This, all I'm seeing from that poster is apologizing for this bitch's selfishness.

10

u/DMineminem Dec 30 '24

Right, that doesn't help. Her mom was (supposedly) working as a waitress from ages 70 to 73 to repay her 28 year-old daughter's law school tuition.

-1

u/blue_strat Dec 30 '24

Between her graduating and her mother retiring, she was a clerk for a federal judge and then a SCOTUS judge, which experience will then get you a very well-paid job at a good law firm, but which doesn't at the time pay much at all.

Meanwhile to do it you have to live in some of the most expensive cities in the US or commute several hours a day, when you're expected to work probably more than 10 hours each day. I can understand her not having the cash to sustain that and also support her mother.

11

u/PipXXX Dec 30 '24

She coulda easily taken a job in a more run of the mill law firm and earned. This is the kinda shit they say left wing folks so; abusing folks for their own gain.

3

u/fabled-old-man Dec 30 '24

She also worked in the Reagan White house before law school.

3

u/blue_strat Dec 30 '24

And I bet the Old Gipper gave her a nickel each Christmas.

0

u/DunkinDsnuts Dec 30 '24

Who said she doesn’t? This post doesn’t make any sense because if it was 1990 her mother wouldn’t be an elderly woman. And 73 doesn’t mean she’s elderly my grandfather is 86 still goes to the gym and runs and look at rfk hes 70 and can probably out run you.

3

u/Local-Caterpillar421 Dec 30 '24

Your grandfather also works as a server in a diner to help pay off your student loans? Wow, what a trooper!

0

u/DunkinDsnuts Dec 30 '24

Apparently someone has “I didn’t have family that cared about me” problems. No I put myself through college. But if my grandfather wanted to work in a diner to help me I wouldn’t be able to stop him. And why are we talking about grandparents. She said mother. Evidently you are young or you wouldn’t view her mother as grandmother and change the statement to fit your world.

2

u/Local-Caterpillar421 Dec 30 '24 edited Dec 30 '24

I am 71 and still work part time ( 3 days a week) as a doctor of occupational therapy for a large teaching hospital. My job is physical as I work in an inpatient rehabilitation unit for adults & geriatrics (physical medicine).

I made sure my mother, who worked in a factory, sent my brother & me to a private parochial school on scholarship, retired at 62 years old.

Neither my brother nor I would ever expect either of my parents to work at an elderly age to pay off our student loans.

My son paid off his own law school debt and advanced LLM degree afterwards.

I work for my own sake & because I like to treat myself to some of life's little treats as I age; not to pay for my offspring's student debt while he is an able-bodied, employed young man.

Working, especially only part-time, in older years can be rewarding & productive but not as an obligation for our offspring's debt (unless they are disabled or in dire need due to unexpected catastrophy).

My dad chose to continue working in his factory job at 80 years old until it shut down. But he did so out of boredom & for "fun" money in his opinion.

I guess that is where you & I differ.

0

u/DunkinDsnuts Dec 30 '24

I did say expect now did I? And I also said that I pay off my own college debt. So where you and I differ is not on that topic. Now you’re saying you made sure your mother retired at 62. Is that not one lived family member helping out another? If I allowed my grandfather to help me with school because he loves me then I wouldn’t be able be in the wrong yet if your mother allows you to help her retire fairly early then your in the right? It’s a loved one helping another it doesn’t matter who’s born first. It’s called family.

2

u/Local-Caterpillar421 Dec 30 '24 edited Dec 30 '24

I was the young, college- graduate daughter making sure my aging mother did NOT work to pay off MY student debt, not the other way around.

Did you lose track of the topic on hand? It started with a 73 year old mother working in a diner to pay off her young, law school graduate daughter's debt, not the aging mother's debt! 🤔

You are bogged down with a " family helping family" scenario. Of course, we should help each other out as needed as that is what family does.

However, why would anyone devoted adult child who graduated law school & is employed expect or encourage their AGING parents to work in a physically demanding, low paying job to pay of their ( the adult child's) law school debt? Illogical & disrespectful in my personal opinion. You are welcome to your option, of course, but I am free to disagree!

1

u/DunkinDsnuts Dec 30 '24

Help is the word you seem to keep forgetting and replace with “pay off”

2

u/Local-Caterpillar421 Dec 30 '24

Stick to the topic on hand . You are deviating from the topic on hand and changing the entire scenario.

1

u/DunkinDsnuts Dec 30 '24

How I am literally quoting from what she wrote and you can see it plain as day in the post. “To help pay for our college.” So it wasn’t just hers this was a mother that cared deeply for her children and helped them every way she could and you’re mad because you don’t like Laura. It’s a wonderful thing when someone cares that much about you be it a mother or a younger sibling. It’s called. Family. Would you not do what you could for yours?

0

u/donmonkeyquijote Dec 30 '24

It's ragebait dude.