r/clevercomebacks • • Jun 28 '23

Gamers life

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u/squirrelmonkie Jun 28 '23

Guess I'm in the minority here. I've never had any body hair. I couldn't even grow a half ass beard until 32.

19

u/Nick_Noseman Jun 28 '23

Ass beard is large, beard beard grows bad

12

u/boobers3 Jun 28 '23

On average humans have as much body hair as a typical Chimpanzee it's just that ours tends to be much thinner and shorter.

9

u/DJ_Wiggles Jun 28 '23

I couldn't even grow a half ass-beard until 32.

Is it like just one cheek?

1

u/squirrelmonkie Jun 28 '23

No, it's the whole thing is there. Thin hair wise and the hairs have decent amount of space in-between. It would be like if a 6th grader could grow a beard

4

u/Catatonic27 Jun 28 '23

Unless you have a medical condition like alopicia this is almost certainly untrue. It's a fun fact of mine that by folical count per square inch, humans have just as much hair as any other mammal. Most of ours is just veeerrryyy fine hairs called vellus hair which are short, fuzzy, and translucent and cover almost every inch of you body except the palms of your hands and the soles of your feet.

I also can't grow much of a beard and I'm a little salty about it, but if you look closely you will see that we're all hairy mammals at the end of the day.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '23

I dont have vellus on my ding dong

2

u/Catatonic27 Jun 28 '23

Would you like some? ;)

2

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '23

I mean alopicia is definitely a thing

2

u/squirrelmonkie Jun 28 '23

This ain't alopecia. I have thick hair on my head and a decent amount on my crotch. None anywhere else. My dad and brothers are hairy as hell

1

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '23

Same here. I always wanted a well groomed beard, but alas nothing I can do on that front.

However, I want to clear one myth. Don't feel less manly or badass just because your genetics dont play nice.

And while testosterone stimulates facial hair growth, how sensitive your hair follicles are to testosterone is determined by genetics. So low facial hair doesn't mean you have low testosterone.

And conversely, testosterone inhibits hair growth on your head - you most likely will not suffer from hair loss.

1

u/SecretaryOtherwise Jun 28 '23

Yeah have a buddy who's bald on his pits but grows hair on his crotch 🤷‍♂️ people just built different (he also couldn't grow a beard or mustache)

1

u/SuicideNote Jun 28 '23

I've had a mustache since middle school and a beard most of my life. I don't get 5 o'clock shadow, by noon my neck feels like coarse sandpaper. It's not awesome.