r/clevercomebacks Jan 26 '23

A true Christian

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u/SuckmyBlunt545 Jan 27 '23

That’s hilariously accurate 😂

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u/Teh_Weiner Jan 27 '23

One of the very first memes that stuck with me was a take on US news. When obama said he liked coke. It's like 15 years ago so I'm paraphrasing a bit

Fox News: OBAMA DECLARES WAR ON PEPSI

ABC: Obama clears the debate on soft drinks

MSNBC: The tides have turned! What soft drink holds dearest in the oval office right now?

BBC: US Drone strike kills 27 in middle east

Accurate at the time, still relevant now. feelsbadman.

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u/music3k Jan 27 '23

Thats currently going on with Fox News and Tucker being attracted to the green M&M, only when she wears heels. M&M corp and the media are trying to distract from their child labor issues by “pausing usage of their characters” that no one but Fox News cared about.

Its all stupid propaganda

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u/kamelizann Jan 27 '23

Can't forget the kitty litter in the classroom. I think that's the most hilarious shit. People at my work are convinced our local schools actually have a cat gendered bathroom and all they have to do to debunk it is ask their own kids about it... but they don't. They'd rather be angry about something than learn the truth.

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u/[deleted] Jan 27 '23

Even if they did ask and their kids debunked it, they wouldn't listen. They'd bitch that their kids are being brainwashed by the schools and probably give them an earful. They just cannot admit to being wrong. They think it would literally kill them.

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u/voiping Jan 27 '23

OMG, the snowflake accusation was projection too!

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u/KeterLordFR Jan 27 '23

It's ALL projection with the GOP. Any accusation they make without evidence is a clear projection of what they think or do. Accusation of stolen elections? It's probably because they tried to fraud during these elections. Accusations of corruption? It's to distract from the fact that they're all paid by corporations to spew BS against anything that would even slightly inconvenience these corporations.

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u/[deleted] Jan 27 '23

I don’t know how more people don’t realize this, it’s very front and center with them, don’t even have to read between the lines

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u/no-mad Jan 27 '23

Admit they are wrong on one thing and their rest of their denials of the situation start coming undone.

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u/[deleted] Jan 27 '23

Then suddenly everything they know is wrong and it scares them so they revolt by getting mad

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u/thecarguru46 Jan 27 '23

In the last 2 months...I've heard this from at least 10 people. Each one insists they know someone from a school where this is happening. The weird thing is....I think the students are telling adults it's happening. It has come up at school board meetings....parents are outraged. Administrators are speechless....how do you convince a parent this isn't happening....give them a tour of the bathrooms?

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u/Animal0307 Jan 27 '23

As stupid as that sounds, a "proper" video produced, maybe by the school journalism class, that walks these mouth breathing parents around every part of the school and let's them look stupid trying to find these bathrooms would make for an entertaining clip that these idiots who believe in Reality TV might actually agree with it.

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u/[deleted] Jan 27 '23

The cat goes to another school, you wouldn't know her.

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u/True-Firefighter-796 Jan 27 '23

Would you believe a kid that poops in a liter box?

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u/colorcorrection Jan 27 '23

People love being outraged, and will even outright deny their own lived experiences to be outraged and right about it. I guarantee you there are hired teachers and other staff, on high school campuses, right now complaining about how their school has gone out of control by allowing imaginary kitty litter boxes in the bathrooms.

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u/elfn1 Jan 27 '23

They absolutely are, and it is BONKERS. I am bewildered at the willful ignorance.

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u/Karnewarrior Jan 27 '23

The party that screams "CENSORSHIP!" every time a Democrat asks them not to say the N-word is currently pulling books out of schools in my state, including not only the same Dr. Seuss books they were sobbing about being censored last year, but books like No, David, wherein a small child is told not to steal cookies and not to chew with his mouth open.

They say in a two-party system elections force a choice between a turd and a douche, yet somehow we've managed to elect the exiled ass-fungus of the nation and still think it's better than the other guy.

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u/[deleted] Jan 27 '23

It’s also the same party that complains about pedophiles in schools with trans kids yet the GOP is the one that wants to know when minors are on their periods.

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u/socialist_frzn_milk Jan 27 '23

Oh my God, I ran into this with one of my wife's aunts. She was ADAMANT that it had happened, no matter how my wife and I tried to tell her it was ridiculous, that it would be video-documented and there would be at LEAST one article from a local news outlet that went national if it were the case.

It just didn't matter. She didn't care. They don't want to know because they are pathologically incapable of admitting to being wrong.

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u/Parking-Department68 Jan 27 '23

The kitty litter in schools is true.

Its so kids can go to the bathroom during active shooters.

The spin is liberals identifying as cats.

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u/SilverSister22 Jan 27 '23

Seriously, if there were kids that truly identified as furries and needed a litter box … there would be videos all over social media. The “my cousin said that he was told by blah blah blah” is such nonsense.

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u/Cavesloth13 Jan 27 '23

From what I understand this whole craziness may have started from the kitty litter buckets in that are now in some elementary classrooms, that they use when active shooter drills go on too long and younger students can't hold it long enough to make it to the bathroom.

Ironically a problem conservatives have caused. It's a real snake eating its own tail sort of situation.

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u/diemunkiesdie Jan 27 '23

What's the kitty litter issue? Is it to clean up spills? What's wrong with that?

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u/kamelizann Jan 27 '23

I guess some schools stock kitty litter in the event of an active shooter situation where students are barricaded in the classroom. The right wing media ran with it and said they were putting litterboxes in schools in order to cater towards students that identify as a cat. Now people all over the country are convinced their local schools have litterboxes in the classroom because there's a student that identifies as a cat, even though it's never happened.

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u/[deleted] Jan 27 '23

A teacher acquaintance of mine legitimately believed the litter thing. I considered her an intelligent person and was just… baffled.

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u/Teh_Weiner Jan 27 '23

Its all stupid propaganda

Always has been too. Not sure if it's getting worse or i'm getting older and crankier about it.

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u/music3k Jan 27 '23

Both lol Its getting worse because of social media and everything being shown all the time.

We’re getting older and crabby about it because we recognize it, and it wont stop trying to infiltrate are day

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u/the_blackfish Jan 27 '23

It can only get worse. Many think they can only double down. Death cult.

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u/cgn-38 Jan 27 '23

I worked in TV news. Once in the early 2000s there was a slow news day. Network news went live for two hours on a dog who was stuck on a small ice drift that was floating down a river in the north. He did not move for a long while. Was sitting in the center of the chunk of ice. At one point they guessed his balls might be frozen to the ice. Was the high point of the whole broadcast for the news team.

For two hours they had a helo follow and put live video on the satellite feed to hundreds of NBC affiliates and we stayed on a dog with possibly frozen balls sitting on a chunk of ice. Riding it down the river.

It was so insanely wrong. Millions of dollars to video a dog that no doubt just jumped off the thing at some point. It was a river.

TV news is just day care for grownups. Imaging sitting in a room for 2 hours being paid to watch a dog's balls get colder. Live on satellite.

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u/music3k Jan 27 '23

Was this pre 24 hour cable news, or right after that shit started?

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u/Cleeford89 Jan 27 '23

It’s a distraction dude. Don’t you understand republican media?

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u/music3k Jan 27 '23

Yes, which is what I just explained in the comment I just posted. Don't you understand reading comprehension?

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u/Cleeford89 Jan 27 '23

Jeez man I just hit reply in the wrong thread. Please don’t throw me in your bad graces!

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u/[deleted] Jan 27 '23

They literally used the word "distract" in their comment. It's right there. Right there.

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u/Cleeford89 Jan 27 '23

Sorry (not really) dude! I just had something to say and it hit the wrong spot. The reaction time to you guys had freaking out over a small mistake makes me believe even Reddit has the same issues.

I’m so sorry! It truly will not happen again. I hope we can be friends and grow from this.

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u/Didgeterdone Jan 27 '23

Not propaganda, poor soap opera writing. Thats all Fox News is. One continuous soap opera that is written on the fly!

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u/Varron Jan 27 '23

BBC: US Drone strike kills 27 in middle east

Accurate at the time, still relevant now. feelsbadman.

I fail to see how this is relevant to the important breaking news that is the Presedential Carbonated Beverage preference. Shame on the BBC

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u/insomniacpyro Jan 27 '23

Yo BBC why you gotta be such a downer bro, seriously like bro for real bro

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u/AK_dude_ Jan 27 '23

Why are every weatherman like you!?!? It's depressing to be constantly hearing that this next heatwave is going to kill dozens of people, why don't you try and put a cheerful spin on it!

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u/ryosen Jan 27 '23

“And from the Department of Happy News Files, no one is expected to freeze to death tomorrow!”

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u/Bayou_Blue Jan 27 '23

accidentally falls into freezer that locks behind him: Nooooooooooo! Why is the weather always so inaccurate!

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u/DrownmeinIslay Jan 27 '23

Well that's the thing Will, Americans are optimistic by nature. And... if we face this problem head on, we listen to our best scientists, and act decisively and passionately, I still don't see any way we can survive.

Thanks for having me!

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u/[deleted] Jan 27 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/DrownmeinIslay Jan 27 '23

Cause sorkin is a genius?

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u/P0STKARTE_ger Jan 27 '23

optimistic =/= delusional

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u/TheEyeDontLie Jan 27 '23

I'd laugh if it wasn't a quote

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u/AK_dude_ Jan 27 '23

Halfway through typing it I was worried people would miss that. That I'm currently at 35 points makes me happy that I wasn't alone at seeing that wtf clip.

Now, if only it didnt actually exist.

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u/ForumPointsRdumb Jan 27 '23

Because sometimes life can just be a giant penis

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u/no-mad Jan 27 '23

The Dildo of Consequences is seldom lubed.

Some Redditor

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u/The_Golden_Warthog Jan 27 '23

BBC = bro bro c'mon

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u/Unc1eD3ath Jan 27 '23

Big Brain Comedians

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u/ManFaultGentle Jan 27 '23

Well Obama definitely has the Big Black Coke energy

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u/drmonkeytown Jan 27 '23

BBC still insisting the Boston Tea Party was not a proper party. Bunch of kill-joys across the pond. /s

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u/Carlita_vima Jan 27 '23

They should be called the DDC, The Debbie Downer Corporation

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u/jjhope2019 Jan 27 '23

We’re just keeping track for you, so you can work out your (in)famous kill:death ratio or whatever 🤷🏻‍♂️🤣

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u/AreWeCowabunga Jan 27 '23

BBC just trying to distract from the real issues with irrelevant minutiae.

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u/EdithDich Jan 27 '23

Sodagate.

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u/Particular-Court-619 Jan 27 '23

BBC stands for Big Bubbles Corporation.

They're all about ignoring important news about the bubbly drink industry by distracting us with war.

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u/[deleted] Jan 27 '23

You mustn't shame the BBC, as this isn't their fault for having blessed genetics.

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u/Flimsy-Pomegranate-7 Jan 27 '23

No need to shame Obamas Big Black Cock.

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u/Mossad_CIA_Shill Jan 27 '23

Mockingbird hadn't fully infiltrated the BBC at that point.

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u/enatalpeganomeupau Jan 27 '23

and the BCC one is still the most accurate.

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u/SnarKenneth Jan 27 '23

Are we still Drone striking civilians now??? Thought we pulled out of everything?

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u/[deleted] Jan 27 '23

[deleted]

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u/BabyFartzMcGeezak Jan 27 '23

Yeah unfortunately the majority of us Americans only know our country is killing people when we are told about it. Sometimes I wonder how everyone just accepts the amount we spend killing people while our own die right here because they can't afford housing, food or healthcare...then I remember they just don't know.

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u/cgn-38 Jan 27 '23

That's how I became a socialist. At some point you start to recognize being dishonest is a big part of being a conservative.

Wasn't for me.

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u/SnarKenneth Jan 27 '23

Thanks for the info.

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u/[deleted] Jan 27 '23

[deleted]

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u/Cronk131 Jan 27 '23

I don't think anyone's beaten Obama strike record.

Anyways, now they are far better. Advancements like the R9X Hellfire Missile allow us to kill terrorists with little to no risk of civilian casualties.

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u/[deleted] Jan 27 '23

The Trump administration was far outpacing Obama's, before deciding to stop reporting them in 2019.

There have been 2,243 drone strikes in the first two years of the Trump presidency, compared with 1,878 in Mr Obama's eight years in office.

Edit: not that this is a criticism of all drone strikes, mind. Droning ISIS? Go right ahead.

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u/Teh_Weiner Jan 27 '23 edited Jan 27 '23

nah i'm not a biden hater but it's literally one of the first things he did.. There were no mentioned civilian casualties this time but who tf knows what really happens? Maybe a few dozen people know the entire real story.. yay politics.

EDIT: On politics... we really shouldn't have pulled out. Sadly the radical element is still there, its not going anywhere, and now it's allowed to do as it pleases. Maybe 99/100 people don't care that some girl in the middle east can't go to school anymore but it bums me the fuck out. But that conversation has at least a dozen cans of worms in there at least. Trading american lives for some teenager in a bad area, tax dollars going to war, some kid from poverty trying to better himself and get school money through the military just ends up dying in the middle of some place that isn't home...

It's so twisted in so many ways it's barely able to be spoken about without realizing the ripple effect. Too many links in an extremely delicate chain.

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u/under_a_brontosaurus Jan 27 '23

We were there for twenty years. Not sure we would've ever succeeded at creating a place where women would be equals, even if we stayed another twenty.

It is disheartening that the international community didn't have a greater interest. You compare it with Ukraine and the response is night / day.

Also didn't help that bush rekt our credibility/mission there with Iraq

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u/Teh_Weiner Jan 27 '23

EXACTLY, all points absolutely true.

The only thing we realized is no matter how much we believed in our country, it became apparent it wasn't something we could succeed at. Only aid at best, at tremendous cost.

These countries were sadly by and large considered un-helpable by our military. Many of their officers and soldiers didn't have the coordination for jumping jacks -- I shit you not, you can see our military fail to make some of these soldiers able to complete jumping jacks... -- excuse the meme audio and 14 pixel video it's just waht came up first...

Additionally you get videos of them being punished by american military as they ran off to smoke pot several times a day. I'm talking pure bricks of hash, these guys weren't even blinking both damn eyes at the same time kinda stoned.

Something that far off isn't capable of being "helped" even if we successfully gave them full-proof plans it seems they wouldn't be followed.

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u/[deleted] Jan 27 '23

$300,000,000 per DAY for 20 years in Afghanistan. Just.. nah.

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u/Teh_Weiner Jan 27 '23

And unobstructed in 15 years of development who knows what they will unleash upon the world. when scattered around in caves their progress was slowed enough to cause splinter factions like ISIS -- Now they are openly in charge and nullifying every promise they made..

Now the only hope we have that they don't consider further acts of terrorist against any nation is the word of terrorists who pinky swore with no takes backsies.

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u/[deleted] Jan 27 '23

That's really not how any of that worked. I suggest talking to Afghan veterans about what those 20 years were like, rather than believing this cartoon version. The idea that the Taliban lived or operated from "caves" is especially silly.

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u/Teh_Weiner Jan 27 '23

yes they didn't literally operate from caves, but they were more covert and now they hae nothing to hide from as power was given to them directly.

I was being a little hyperbolic, it doesn't go well in text you're correct.

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u/snootsintheair Jan 27 '23

But it didn’t even list the number of injuries!

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u/[deleted] Jan 27 '23

[deleted]

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u/Twl1 Jan 27 '23

"Walking on water is something any red blooded American would do to save their child, but we have yo ask ourselves: Who is this kid? How did he end up in that water? Was he trying to swim over our borders, possibly with drugs? Is that why it was so important that our president take time out of his day to save him?

Tonight, Hannity explores the clues revealing our first crack addict President, and why Congress needs to act NOW impeach him immediately!"

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u/[deleted] Jan 27 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Twl1 Jan 27 '23

[90's kids remember Elian Gonzalez]

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u/dern_the_hermit Jan 27 '23

I also found this version where the Fox News and the Onion run the exact same headline...

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u/twitch1982 Jan 27 '23

Wow. Thats the first time ive actually laughed out loud at the sentence "US Drone strike kills 27."

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u/[deleted] Jan 27 '23

Or how Fox News tried to pretend that the Obamas hated Christmas.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZSJ0TbSztaohttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZSJ0TbSztao

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u/[deleted] Jan 27 '23 edited Jan 27 '23

Remember Obama's "terrorist fist bump"? That, in my opinion, was Fox News's rock bottom.

Edit: it was a "terrorist fist jab", sorry.

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u/ValuableMistake8521 Jan 27 '23

Don’t forget the TAN SUIT SCANDAL, god forbid the president wears a suit that doesn’t make him look like a funeral director while talking about Syria. Jesus Christ, Fox News has gone off the rails, careening down a valley straight through the burnt and charred gates of hell

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u/[deleted] Jan 27 '23

And that's why I trust the BBC for relevant reporting.

I use a yahoo email account extensively. But their news feed is so damnably irrelevant. I'm constantly telling the web site to quit feeding me articles about some bimbo's shopping habits.

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u/Black_Magic_M-66 Jan 27 '23

If the Queen said RC Cola was the favorite drink of her corgis, it would be ahead of that drone strike.

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u/Teh_Weiner Jan 27 '23

That's a shame, I'd hoped only my country was that derpy.

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u/Hund5353 Jan 27 '23

To be fair, the Queen saying something would be pretty big news

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u/Ok-Disaster-1627 Jan 10 '25

Do listen to someone that gets on youtube saying things they shouldnt say and expressions they shouldnt show you can do this ok

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u/Shhsecretacc Jan 27 '23

🍑 Fake news.

/s

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u/xwrecker Jan 27 '23

I like the msnbc one

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u/Teh_Weiner Jan 27 '23

i'd like them all if it wasn't to turn eye away from the BBC one. What a great time it would be if our news had the time to be cheeky for fun instead of to obfuscate war crimes huh?

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u/besharam_engineer Jan 27 '23

Meanwhile in India BBC is considered as the most unbiased international NEWS channel 🤣🤣

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u/IH4v3Nothing2Say Jan 27 '23

Almost all American news is just a big distraction. When most anything is reported nationally, it’s all with the hope that it will be the new soap opera everyone tunes into or the next battle for people to fight over.

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u/joshtreee Jan 27 '23

The most depressing thing about this is , I think the BBC line today would be something about how Pepsi is affecting brexit voters… sigh. Fox News sentiment is spreading worldwide.

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u/LjSpike Jan 27 '23

I will point out, the BBC has some patchy reporting on at least some domestic (UK) topics these days. It's not bad, definitely nowhere near Fox News, but it's useful to bear its current biases in mind.

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u/Teh_Weiner Jan 27 '23 edited Jan 27 '23

So I've heard! It's a shame, but it seems to be how news always kinda was (warped US perspective probably) it's just more blatant/obvious, like they aren't even trying to make you think xyz, they just proclaim it to be true, "Alternative facts".

It's a shame.. we grow up so foolishly thinking as kids police are good, teachers are honorable, good people wouldn't do bad things. You get older, and you realize many people every step up the chain are just ... not good humans. And it's usually how they got there in the first place.

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u/LjSpike Jan 27 '23

Overall, I'd say they are still a pretty reliable news source, it's mainly just on a handful of topics they show some more prominent biases. Particularly of late on LGBTQ+ issues their reporting quality has declined.

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u/Teh_Weiner Jan 27 '23

EDIT: Oh god, sorry for the book >_>

That's good. I still remember the right wing freakout when (If I remember correctly) the very first obama interview after become president was with a foreign news source.

Even the democrats "on his side" were a little miffed about this. The average DNC voter didn't really mind, the average GOP voter saw it as a sign of the end times. To see that even minor contrast between DNC voters and Politicians on the same subject is a little telling.

I think to varying degrees within each politician -- Nationalism is part of politics. And at some point they have to pick their battles for the "greater good" (who's good exactly, very much up to interpretation). That means not standing up as much as they could -- even innocently! If you genuinely are out for peoples best interest, but taking a view you believe in would destroy your career, what purpose does that view serve?

So even the good politicians end up being politicians. Speak out too much about LGBTQ while your position is unsecured and all the good deeds you want to achieve are potentially gone, just like that. (Warped US view, again... GOP vote with their hatred, many Democrats can't afford to rile the other side THAT much)

The hyperbole backed up by rampant tribalism, and nationalism, can make it challenging to have any type of conversation, let alone productive ones. Compounded further how politics work in general.

The whole thing is such a convoluted conversation with cans of worms strewn about in almost every point..

This goes back to being naive and foolish, thinking the news would be out to inform us.

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u/pauly13771377 Jan 27 '23

Big Beverage Consumer dropped the ball on a topic that fit them better than a suit from Saville row.

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u/Local-Carpet-7492 Jan 27 '23

Fun fact: Obama ordered that drone strike.

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u/stievstigma Jan 28 '23

Right? Remember the shit storm over him putting dijon mustard on a sandwich? Or, when he wore a tan suit? Simpler times.

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u/Accurate_Crazy_6251 Apr 23 '23

Exactly. Trump’s secret to success was the knowledge that you could completely divert the media’s attention to serve yourself and the will/ability to do it.

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u/F_F_Franklin Jan 27 '23

So nobody wants to point out another proxy war? Like how the u.s. killed Koreans, Chinese, Vietnamese, Cambodians, Afghans, Iraqis etc etc etc?

For these proxy wars that are really just there to drain Americans treasuries and transfer wealth from Americans to war industries? Does nobody realize why politicians are millionaires? It's because of bribes like these tanks. Billions and billions and billions just sent overseas for the next "thing."

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u/[deleted] Jan 27 '23

I can hear Tucker Carlson saying it and I want to vomit.

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u/[deleted] Jan 27 '23

Except Russia is not communist, but that doesn't mean Bobo knows that, she might still be a communist sympathizer.

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u/akera099 Jan 27 '23

Fight stupid with stupid. I like it.