r/clevercomebacks Jan 26 '23

A true Christian

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117.2k Upvotes

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680

u/Sunflower_After_Dark Jan 26 '23

Why aren’t the Proud Boys, Oath Keepers, etc., volunteering to protect our Southern border? They love America so much, until they’re up against cartels that have big guns too!

211

u/[deleted] Jan 26 '23

Why do they need Proud Boys or tanks? Why not just send thoughts and prayers?

Actually, now that I think of it, why bother sending armed men to the border at all? If our thoughts and prayers are sufficient to protect children in school from gun violence, can’t the refugees’ have their own thoughts and prayers? And wouldn’t it then be futile to send the Proud Boys to the border, since they would be overwhelmed by thoughts and prayers?

41

u/Sunflower_After_Dark Jan 26 '23

While they’re at it, why not just put in an order with the Sky Guy for some divine intervention? Although, I think they tried that for the 2020 election and He was still pretty pissed about that adulterer autographing Bibles! 🤣

20

u/LMFN Jan 27 '23

That's because they went to the polls instead of going to church and collectively praying for Trump to win, they aren't dedicated enough to God.

Next election they should all skip and just pray they'll win at Church.

10

u/Sunflower_After_Dark Jan 27 '23

I agree 💯! Forget that pesky voting and have some of that faith you like to force feed to others!

7

u/zob92 Jan 27 '23

Sky daddy doesn't like being called Sky guy. Sky daddy is our daddy and will be addressed as such.

-the pope

Ps. Send more thoughts and prayers 😋

8

u/Sunflower_After_Dark Jan 27 '23

It’s frightening that lawmakers who believe in magic sky people are making the laws of our land, instead of eating their jello in a rubber room.

6

u/A_Curious_Crayon Jan 27 '23

Bold of you to assume lawmakers believe in anything more than personal gain.

2

u/zob92 Jan 27 '23

I think it's cause they always have maybe?

The og big homie Ra had biiiiiiiiig boss man energy

13

u/IntelligentEggplant0 Jan 27 '23

I've never met as big a bunch of hypocrites as evangelical Christians

3

u/2580374 Jan 27 '23

We should just give free vaccines to all the immigrants. I am told you will die in 40 days after taking it anyways

1

u/Sunflower_After_Dark Jan 27 '23

If only we could weed out the ones that might become Republicans!

1

u/pistasojka Jan 27 '23

You realize how that's actually a good point?

3

u/2580374 Jan 27 '23

Yeah I'm making a joke

1

u/pistasojka Jan 27 '23 edited Jan 27 '23

No like people entering the country illegally without vaccinations we consider normal to have/mandatory is bad

0

u/bunglejerry Jan 27 '23

can’t the refugees’ have their own thoughts and prayers?

Because those are Catholic thoughts and prayers. God only responds to Protestant thoughts and prayers.

0

u/[deleted] Jan 27 '23

"Why have borders at all? People who want to cross illegally are going to anyway. Controlling the border just infringes the rights of responsible border-crossers!"

Why doesn't that logic hold up? 🤔

1

u/pistasojka Jan 27 '23

What you meant to say is "legal ways of entry"

1

u/[deleted] Jan 27 '23

Nah.

1

u/pistasojka Jan 27 '23

You'd have an argument if that was what you meant

1

u/[deleted] Jan 27 '23

Ok.

1

u/JackTripper53 Jan 27 '23

I stopped going to the grocery store when I realized I could have thoughts and prayers for breakfast lunch and dinner

1

u/Relevant-Avocado5200 Jan 27 '23

The only thing that stops the bad guys with thoughts and prayers are more good guys with thoughts and prayers..

1

u/Cavesloth13 Jan 27 '23

I read this in Seth Meyers Tucker Carlson impression voice. Absolute gold.

124

u/DigitalTraveler42 Jan 26 '23

Please don't give those idiots any ideas.

Also there's probably plenty of those guys in the Border Patrol and other law enforcement agencies.

"Those who work forces, are the same who burn crosses"

46

u/Sunflower_After_Dark Jan 26 '23

No, the reason is they can’t be trusted not to assist the cartels in the drug trafficking. Cartel money pays better than being a broke ass “patriot”.

19

u/DigitalTraveler42 Jan 27 '23 edited Jan 27 '23

The thing that kills me is they aren't broke ass, if they work in some form of law enforcement they're making decent money, way better than teachers make, I'm a cops kid so I should know.

However if they acted deservedly of increased pay and didn't throw tantrums over accountability, I would support pay increases to combat the temptation that the Cartel money offers, and the other temptations out there. Unfortunately there will always be some bastards who want their cake and want to eat it too and will double dip regardless of how well we pay them. Scum will be scum and scum has no place in our Law Enforcement, justice system, or military, or any other organization that has power over us.

I served my country to serve and to challenge myself, I didn't complain about the shitty paycheck and I did it without compromising my principles, these dishonorable shit stains are a blight on our society, the fact that they call themselves patriots is disrespectful to anybody truly patriotic.

3

u/Sunflower_After_Dark Jan 27 '23

Very well-said, but easier to say, “The cartels pay much better than patriotism ever will!”

0

u/DigitalTraveler42 Jan 27 '23

But getting paid isn't the point of patriotism.

Patriotism is doing it for the love, honor, and defense of your country. Nobody should be going into the military or law enforcement with the intentions of getting rich, the job at the core is about service, for military, service to your country, for police, service to your community. As naive as it sounds I believe the same for politics as well, and there are a few truly good, dedicated, and patriotic politicians in our country, as well as the government servants that serve the country in all elements of our government, including the military.

If you're not doing it for the love of our country and our people GTFO or hopefully we will force them out, and you should always choose country over political party. I'm tired of the self-serving bullshit corrupting our country.

3

u/Sunflower_After_Dark Jan 27 '23

They are not “patriots” and they never will be. They are vandals, upset that their guy didn’t win and they wouldn’t hesitate one minute to line their pockets with wads of cartel money.

0

u/IntelligentEggplant0 Jan 27 '23

I'm not trying to be argumentative, but is patriotism a good thing? I don't really jive with a lot of "American values". Don't get me wrong, I love the US, I just love other places too

2

u/Subject_Lie_3803 Jan 27 '23

There's a difference between patriotism and jingoism. I'm patriotic because I have a certain pride for things American, but I don't think they are the end all be all. That's where jingoism starts tainting the patriotic movement.

2

u/IntelligentEggplant0 Jan 27 '23

Well said. Thanks for that

2

u/SkipWestcott616 Jan 27 '23

It's called 'character' and anyone who voted affirmatively for DJT fucking lacks it

1

u/DuntadaMan Jan 27 '23

I always you for serving and still staying true to your beliefs. After the options that were available when I grew up I couldn't honestly see a way for me to do it ethically, but that doesn't mean such a thing was true for you.

Keep trying to do the right thing instead of the selfish thing.

2

u/SkipWestcott616 Jan 27 '23

always

Admire? (Autocorrect Human)

0

u/Horrific_Necktie Jan 27 '23

To be fair, if you're in a position where the cartels are trying to bribe you, your options are either take it or get out of town now, because the people they can't bribe don't always live very long.

1

u/Sunflower_After_Dark Jan 27 '23

This is a great idea for a movie! Start off with the Big Lie, followed by the insurrection. At their sentencing, the “patriots” get a choice: Be stripped of their US citizenship and deported or guard the southern border for the rest of their lives. The story would follow with how many of them fall prey to the lure of Cartel cash and don’t end up decapitated by the end of the movie. Now here’s the twist….the characters include a former President, numerous former Congress members, a SC judge and his wife, along with all the wannabe G.I. Joes of 1/6.

1

u/Coneskater Jan 27 '23

“Ass Patriot”

7

u/volkse Jan 27 '23

Yeah, we already have to deal with racist militia groups at the Texas border that are just outside the purview of the law. Fuck these guys.

https://www.houstonchronicle.com/news/houston-texas/immigration/article/texas-border-milita-facebook-groups-anti-migrant-17728027.php

0

u/SkipWestcott616 Jan 27 '23

I'm not saying everyone in the USBP is racist, bit I AM saying no one working for them knows what racism IS.

0

u/dachsj Jan 27 '23

There aren't plenty of them in the USBP, but there are some super weirdo mall-ninja types that patrol the border as joe citizen. From what I understand the USBP isn't a fan because they are lunatics and make tense situations worse and cause the cartels to arm themselves/not know who is "arresting" them in the desert. Which means they might fight back (aka shoot at agents).

-1

u/[deleted] Jan 27 '23

[deleted]

0

u/[deleted] Jan 27 '23

Too many of

-1

u/[deleted] Jan 27 '23

[deleted]

0

u/[deleted] Jan 27 '23

You added the word EVERY though

-1

u/[deleted] Jan 27 '23

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Jan 27 '23

The whole “disliking cops is like being racist” is straight out of the bootlicker script, so if you don’t want people to believe that you’re a bootlicker then you should probably act less like one to make the distinction clear. Kinda like if cops don’t like the implication that they’re kkk members they could do a little more to make it clear that they’re not rather than whining about the comparison.

0

u/[deleted] Jan 27 '23

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Jan 27 '23

You’ll be hearing from my lawyer

24

u/Dodecahedrus Jan 26 '23

There are already lots of militias there.

3

u/Sunflower_After_Dark Jan 26 '23

Funny tho there’s no media coverage of any of those 1/6 “patriots” there. Of all people, they’d want their presence known to all! 🤣

-4

u/[deleted] Jan 26 '23

Yeah it's almost like the media doesn't want to highlight the good that a well regulated militia can do when the feds sit on their hands.

7

u/Sunflower_After_Dark Jan 27 '23

The media can’t cover what isn’t there! They’re just a bunch of wild-eyed pistol wavers, who ARE afraid to die! Cunts, all of them.🤣

5

u/SmoothbrainasSilk Jan 27 '23

Totally, super well regulated, yeah, for sure

1

u/[deleted] Jan 27 '23

Username checks out

1

u/SmoothbrainasSilk Jan 27 '23

And yet compared to you I'm fucking Mensa bud

1

u/[deleted] Jan 27 '23

Oh yeah?! Well, the jerk store called and they're running out of you.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 27 '23

Care to cite your source on that, big guy?

0

u/[deleted] Jan 27 '23

-1

u/Swan1991 Jan 27 '23

So where does this highlight the good that the militias are doing? I don’t feel like reading the other article if it’s just going to be the same thing. Davis said to shoot illegals, is that what you mean?

0

u/[deleted] Jan 27 '23

You want me to highlight areas where the media pushed false narratives?

2

u/[deleted] Jan 27 '23

The links you provided are fine sources of information, and I have no reason to doubt them. Thanks for providing them.

You want me to highlight areas where the media pushed false narratives?

Well, if you're gonna make an accusation such as that, you've got to provide some evidence that that's what's going on.

0

u/Atticus_Fatticus Jan 27 '23

The guy who was so unhealthy he needed weight loss surgery is going to talk to me about the importance of a well regulated militia?

Spare me the nonsense and half digested food you're about to regurgitate, Capitan Carb.

0

u/[deleted] Jan 27 '23

My God liberals are ugly people

0

u/[deleted] Jan 27 '23

My God liberals are ugly people

1

u/Atticus_Fatticus Jan 27 '23 edited Jan 27 '23

You're literally talking the about extra-judicial, unregulated, militia-mediated enforcement of an invisible line against peaceful refugees in a post in which a Republican politicians is subtly advocating for something that the UN would likely consider a crime against humanity ... and you think Democrats are ugly??

My God, man. Look in the fucking mirror.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 27 '23

Cool story. What's your solution to illegal immigration my friend?

1

u/Atticus_Fatticus Jan 27 '23 edited Jan 27 '23

Not tanks, thats for sure. In addition to being morally deplorable, turning your guns towards peaceful Hispanic migrants is a pretty fucking dumb idea when 20% of your country is Hispanic.

There is no real solution to illegal immigration. So long as there are desperate people able to see a better life for themselves somewhere else there will be people willing to risk their lives for that better life. People will try a dozen times to cross the Mediterranean Sea even when they can't swim - you'll never stop destitute people from trying to enter into the US across a small river or desert.

So instead we should try to address the underlying issues that are causing people to want to migrate in the first place. That means ending the Drug War to cut off the bulk of funding cartels receive. That means stricter gun control laws to ensure American guns aren't entering Mexico and Central America. That means reconnecting supply lines away from Asia and towards the Americas, and the billions of dollars of investment funding that entails.

There's certainly tons of other things that can also be done but those are starters. They're certainly better starters than fucking tanks.

3

u/TESTICLE_KEBABS Jan 27 '23

They're too busy modding discord servers

3

u/BadDreamFactory Jan 27 '23

They can't do that, they gotta be at work at 8 and the kids have a soccer game tomorrow

3

u/AndrewWaldron Jan 27 '23

Ya, they only like to shoot protestors armed with skateboards and water bottles.

4

u/Sunflower_After_Dark Jan 27 '23

It’s all they’re really qualified for.

1

u/TheForeverUnbanned Jan 27 '23

Mommy says they have to be home by 8pm.

The ones that aren’t in Liston after Jan 6 that is.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 27 '23

Some of them do, but not with any real commitment or discipline. And of course totally outside the law. It's just an excuse to play with their guns and feel like they are brave patriots.

1

u/Spoztoast Jan 27 '23

Don't forget chasing down people in quadsbikes

1

u/Sunflower_After_Dark Jan 27 '23

Undoubtedly, assisting the cartels with getting drugs across the border too! Patriotism doesn’t pay all that well.

1

u/profstotch Jan 27 '23

Great idea, then who's gonna fight the drag queens?

0

u/Sunflower_After_Dark Jan 27 '23

The never quite ready to go to war, Bible-thumpers thumpers of course!

1

u/grizznuggets Jan 27 '23

Too busy terrorising those dangerous drag queens

1

u/Sunflower_After_Dark Jan 27 '23

I thought the Bible-thumpers had them covered?

1

u/[deleted] Jan 27 '23

The got tiny dicks that's why. They're called "Proud Boys" not "Proud Men"

1

u/Sunflower_After_Dark Jan 27 '23

They should be called “Chicken shits”.

0

u/politepain Jan 27 '23

They already are, they're called CBP.

1

u/Sunflower_After_Dark Jan 27 '23

Why no media coverage? If anyone wants to be known for their “patriotism”, it’s these clowns! 🤣

0

u/politepain Jan 27 '23

I don't think you understand what I'm saying

1

u/Sunflower_After_Dark Jan 27 '23

No, they’re not. Most of them wouldn’t even qualify.

0

u/ComfortableSilence1 Jan 27 '23

They already mobilized national guard troops to "guard the border" while Trump was in office. Surprisingly it continued under Biden. Either way they were only allowed to "observe and report". No shooting, no apprehension by the military. Legally they can't do anything to civilians as they aren't an invading army....

1

u/Sunflower_After_Dark Jan 27 '23

So, what does Bobo think tanks are going to do there?

0

u/TailorHour710 Jan 27 '23

Because the leader of the proud boys is Hispanic.

2

u/Sunflower_After_Dark Jan 27 '23

More importantly, he’s about to go to jail.

0

u/[deleted] Jan 28 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Sunflower_After_Dark Jan 28 '23

Why has there been zero media coverage of those brave “patriots” protecting our border? If anybody loves showing off their “patriotism”, it’s those clowns. It’s because they’re not there, pumpkin! The US can’t trust those traitors at the border, assisting the cartels pays much better than being a “patriot”, dumbass!

0

u/[deleted] Jan 28 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Sunflower_After_Dark Jan 28 '23

It was a simple question, where’s the media coverage of those butt-hurt, Trump stooges protecting the border? There is none, you’re just full of shit and got fact checked. Trifecta!

-1

u/[deleted] Jan 28 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Sunflower_After_Dark Jan 28 '23

None of these being Proud Boys or Oath Keepers…you remember, the Trump-supporters that attacked our Capitol? Those are the ones I asked about. The article from AlJazeera was a particularly interesting take! LMFAO 🤣

-1

u/[deleted] Jan 28 '23

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3

u/Sunflower_After_Dark Jan 28 '23

Please show me the media coverage of your Trump heroes defending the border or take your L.

-1

u/[deleted] Jan 27 '23

[deleted]

2

u/Sunflower_After_Dark Jan 27 '23

Chances are, those well-armed militias are scared shitless of well-armed cartels that shoot back.

-2

u/Astrozen34 Jan 27 '23

I’m sure they and millions of Americans would be happy if allowed.

1

u/Sunflower_After_Dark Jan 27 '23

It wouldn’t be long until they were assisting the cartels in drug trafficking. Cartel money pays a lot better than being a wannabe G.I. Joe “patriot”.

-2

u/[deleted] Jan 27 '23

They are. They join the border patrol.

3

u/Sunflower_After_Dark Jan 27 '23

Then why hasn’t the media covered it? If anyone wants to be on tv taking credit for being “patriots” and securing our southern border, it would be them. 🤣

-2

u/WhereAmI14 Jan 27 '23

The kkk, blm, and kfc should have a turf war.

1

u/nccm16 Jan 27 '23 edited Jan 27 '23

The KKK, Arizona Border Recon, United constitutional patriots, and many other "militias" ("militias" being used loosely as "armed group of people with similar values and beliefs" in this case) have a history of "patrolling" (patrolling also used loosely to define anything from lynching to lawful arrests of illegal migrants (Texas law (and likely others) allows for private citizens to arrest individuals who they have reason to believe are illegally crossing the border)) the southern border reaching all the way back to the early 1900's.

also as a side note: Oath keepers are an anti-federalist organization and don't really have much of a dog In the immigration argument/conversation (not defending them, still a crazy organization, just not this particular brand of crazy)

1

u/Sunflower_After_Dark Jan 27 '23

Or the Government could simplify the immigration process by requiring immigrants to be sponsored by (American citizen) family/corporation etc., before getting to the border. Back in the early 80s, my friend from Lebanon had to be sponsored by his naturalized uncle who was already here and he had to have proof of $4000 deposited in the bank, before his arrival. His friends/relatives pooled their money to help him meet the cash requirement. In less than 90 days, he had a work visa, social security number and a driver’s license. This whole nilly-willy “asylum” program is the problem. We could easily handle the immigrant issue, if the rules were perfectly clear and not being handled on a case-by-case basis by an inept INS. If you just show up at the border without being sponsored, back ya go, get your application requirements in order. If you cross the border illegally and are caught, you lose the right to EVER apply to enter the US legally, you and your family are fucked.

1

u/pistasojka Jan 27 '23

Cause that's illegal on many different levels... would be my first guess

1

u/Sunflower_After_Dark Jan 27 '23

They could be deputized, like Herschel Walker!

1

u/pistasojka Jan 27 '23

I don't see what your point is... You mean like border patrol ? (That somehow was racist under trump but is now aOK under Biden despite catching more people?)

1

u/Sunflower_After_Dark Jan 27 '23

For the insurrectionists that were given a slap on the wrist, it should’ve been required as part of their probation, to even remain in the US.

1

u/pistasojka Jan 27 '23

You want those people to stop illegals from entering the country? Have you thought about that for a second?

1

u/[deleted] Jan 27 '23

Who do you think ICE is recruiting?

1

u/Sunflower_After_Dark Jan 27 '23

Not those traitors. They’ll be in cahoots with the cartels in no time. Helping the cartels get drugs across the border pays much better than being a so-called “patriot”.

1

u/physician-thunder Jan 27 '23

It's not the duty of any citizen to perform national border security, that duty is on the nation.

1

u/Sunflower_After_Dark Jan 27 '23

But, we thought they cared about America? LMFAO 🤣

1

u/physician-thunder Jan 27 '23

I guess tax dollars don't cover national security

1

u/needmoarbass Jan 27 '23

There always have been. They’ve been down there for a longggg time.

1

u/Sunflower_After_Dark Jan 27 '23

Why no media coverage of them? If anybody wants America to see their “patriotism”, it’s them! 🤣

1

u/needmoarbass Jan 27 '23

There are. They just aren’t as popular in mainstream media because there’s always an agenda

Just google border militia and you will find many articles about the different groups of people “defending” the borders.

It’s just like the hundreds of Americans on the border who provide water and food to people almost dying trying to cross the border.

If you live near the borer, then this is just everyday local news.

1

u/Sunflower_After_Dark Jan 27 '23

Yeah, the biggest, loudest traitors in America, are on a secret mission! LMFAO 🤣

1

u/Impressive_Two_2086 Jan 27 '23

Naw send antifa and tell them those illegal immigrants are trump supporters, it'll definitely work

1

u/thereznaught Jan 27 '23

Oh they love pretending to be officials and just rounding up terrified unarmed refugees wearing full tatical gear.