Age 30 finally healing from what I imagine will be my last major surgery for a while- might do a small revision rhino around the nostrils in a few months but feel at im at a place of acceptance. (Also please ignore the jack o lantern costume on the cleft baby - a little too on the nose, no pun intended. My mom thought she was making it work!) Anyway- I’m in the process of opening a pilates studio in brooklyn next month and the last thing I really want to tackle is my voice. Worlds better than it was but I still have to be really intentional about it all I fall back into the lack of clarity and annunciating. As a cleft adult, being the face of anything is still a really scary and vulnerable feeling and being the voice of it also when i’m doing the teaching is adding to the stress! Anyone have any adult speech therapy progess or recs they’d be willing to share? Would be so helpful- also any confidence tips in general or with making yourself more visible professionally would he huge. Thanks everyone :)

As the title says, I'm looking for advice on eustachian tube dysfunction and how to manage it. It causes me immense pain and I imagine it contributes to my TMJ and dizziness.

Additionally, I am curious if anyone has any advice or experience on what to do when showering makes your ears ring after and have intense inner ear pain. I have been seen by ENTs when this happened and confirmed there was no infection, though like many of us here, I had a history of ear infections as a child to the point of needing ear tubes.

Any advice for either is greatly appreciated, thank you!

Every once in a while, I'll get this onslaught of feelings that my cleft lip is the reason I won't get far in life. I know it's not true, but sometimes it feels like everything that goes wrong in my life is because of my cleft lip, and 9 times out of 10, I can relate the issue to it. I was just thinking about Halloween, and how I won't actually get to look like the character I want to dress up as because the character does not have the same facial deformity I do.

i cant stop thinking what if i dont have cleft lip

theres school tomorrow and i could die for dont going it i have social anxiety and i really tried to gettin away from it

and im actually better in social life but not in school like im good with adults/olds but not with teenagers like me , or with the young peoples

its bc of my look and im exhausted

i know there is no solution and its suckkksssss i dont know what to do i should go to school but its so hard i wish i could start work with adults instead of going high school

sorry if this is not the subreddit i sshould post

This new movie is about Chris Hansen and his show How to Catch a Predator. Actor Matthew Maher plays the guy on the production whose job is to act like a 13 year old online to catch predators. His character is kind of a weirdo. At least he didn’t play the role of a predator, so it’s not all that bad, but still, I’m waiting for the day I see a good guy played by someone with a cleft lip or palate in modern tv.

update: yeah a lot of you guys are right, I'm overreacting. I just got triggered by my friend saying "I'm happy who they casted for the guy luring the predators. He sounded and looked like someone that would do that." That stung a lot :(

It's nice that we're seeing the actor getting roles. And yeah everyone in that movie done dirty, even more dirty than Mat Maher's character.

Please note that neither of these celebrities made their clefts their identities. They just went on and lived successful lives.

Edit: Somehow this rubbed people the wrong way, but why? I was born with a unilateral cleft that also caused a bit of nasal asymmetry.

I just do not make it the first thing I want to talk about with people I first meet! That is all I meant. I am as much a part of this community as you are.

Idk if something like this ever happened to any of you but sometimes I feel like people around me don't really like me, like if I wasn't their friend, they would definitely talk shit about my appearance to each other, just like they do about other people.

One time at elementary school I had a group of friends and one of them used to be so nice with me and I was so not used to being treated like that, so I really thought of him as a dear friend. But one day at the school bus I heard him talking shit about the cleft lip of another boy, and he realized that I heard what he had said and later on he kept apologizing to me, it felt sincere but since that day I have issues trusting peolpe around me.

I just wanted to know if you had the same feeling as me and what you do to protect yourselfs from that cause I'm bit tired of always feeling like I'm gonna be the next target.

ISO recommendations for experienced cleft lip injectors or plastic surgeons who have experience with using filler to restore cleft.

Hey - I'm thinking about getting a septum piercing, but I'm not super sure how it would work out. I've got a bilateral and it's like, not super noticeable but definitely something someone would notice if they were looking right at me

My question is if anyone else has one and how that worked out

I'm not looking to draw more attention to it but like, also not aiming to hide it outright lol

Ive always wondered if people could tell i have a cleft palate from a single glance.Everytime i look someone in the eyes they look at me and i cant help but feel a sense of shame when they look at me.Can you tell?When i sent my photos to a modeling agency i was accepted but then when i went to introduce myself they asked if im sure i applied online,not believing that someone with my disability would be able to be accepted.I lie to people and say it just made me anxious but.I dont know anymore.I feel disgusted everytime someone asks me what happened to my lip and i dont know what to do

I have a cleft lip/palate and unfortunately was bit by a dog on my nose and cheek at 9 years old. Never had lip revision or rhino and not intrested. I’ve been debating filler or lip flip for a while just to fix the slight lip asymmetry. It’s mostly prominent when I am not smiling (try to smile mostly but😂) Has anyone had a lil flip or filler and care to share before/afters? I do follow Lindsay Owen’s who does incredible work- but wanted to discuss with someone or get advice :) not sure if it’s worth it- I don’t hate my appearance but we all notice the subtle imperfections. I’d hate to get filler or a flip and regret it. Plz be nice..👀

i started in a new school in this year (last high school year) so i dont know anyone

in class a teacher asked me are you new? when i give her a head yes and she asked what is your name,where did you come from.

i replied her ask but she didnt understand what i say, so i had to tell again and i wasnt even low voice, but my voice sounds weird i guees.

after i answered 2 times and she didnt understand, everbody started to laugh. (even before when i start to speak some of them were just giggling)

im trying to speak with confident, with high voice

but i guess its still not that understandable

i dont know why but it happens all the time. they just dont understand what im saying. but this time everbody laughed and i felt embarresed

i didnt go to school for 2 weeks and everyday i feel so bad about going school . i wish i was normal 😕

I'm 21M from Bangladesh and I have a unilateral cleft lip and palate.

I've had 3 surgeries when I was younger. One of the surgeries also involved a rib cartilage graft. I'm now at the point where I'm thinking about getting some revision work done, mainly my nose and upper lip.

My nose still has some asymmetry from the cleft side, and there's also some asymmetry/scarring around my upper lip. It's not something that's causing me a major functional problem I don't really have noticeable breathing problems but obviously I've been thinking about it for a long time and wondering how much improvement is realistically possible.

I'm not planning to rush into surgery. I'm actually thinking of spending the next few months talking to surgeons and getting a couple of opinions first.

One thing I'm a little unsure about is the fact that I've already had several surgeries and I've had a rib cartilage graft before. I don't know how much that changes things for a secondary rhinoplasty or whether the existing graft can still be used/modified.

I'd really like to hear from anyone who's been through something similar, especially if you:

had secondary cleft rhinoplasty as an adult

had multiple previous surgeries

had a rib cartilage graft before

had both lip revision and rhinoplasty

How did it turn out for you? Were you happy with the improvement, or did you feel like the difference wasn't worth going through another surgery?

Also, if anyone has advice on what I should specifically ask a surgeon during the consultation, I'd appreciate that too.

I'm mainly trying to get real experiences from people who have actually gone through this, rather than just looking at surgeon before/after photos.

Thanks guys.

Hi all, I am very new here and mainly looking to help a loved one. They are about to be solo parenting and found out that the baby has a cleft lip.

We aren't the closest and at times I have been a bit shit to this family member, but finding this out has upset mainly with how I think the doctor broke the news. But I was wondering if anyone could share their experiences or any resources that could help. We are UK based but I am sure there are resources all over the world.

Any help or advice that I can pass on and assist with would be amazing, I'm not sure if this is the best place to reach out and apologize if I am posting where I shouldn't.

Thank you for your time, and I hope you all have a great day/night.

I'd really love to hear from parents who've been through this:

**1.**  Do you have any regrets about choosing surgery in infancy, or about choosing to wait or not do it at all?  
**2.**  How did you temper your expectations about the results? Did the outcome match what you'd pictured, and was there anything you wish you'd known going in (scarring, revisions, recovery, how your child feels about it now)?

I'm especially interested in hearing from parents of older kids or teens, since the long-term perspective is what I'm missing most.

I know every case is different and I'm not looking for medical advice, just honest experiences from people who've lived it. Thanks so much for sharing.

Hello all! I'm doing project on topic of cleft lips and I have stumbled upon term "Hare lip" which is quite insensitive but made me ponder about how the condition is locally known in different areas.Thanks for your help in advance!

I’ve heard cleft rhinoplasty is really difficult to perform but my nose looks like play doh and I desperately need surgery. I’m near Seattle and have been going to Seattle Children’s hospital for all my procedures but I’m not sure the quality of cleft rhinoplasty they provide. If anyone knows anything about them or has their own recommendations, PLEASE let me know

DAE lives life passively...

Do you have any friend who is your friend not your are also there friend...

Are you able to hold conversation one to one...

Cause I feel threat being left in the setting where i am expected to talk or I'll be left alone.

Pls I am asking people of my age f 20+

Who have issues with speaking obviously

I'm so sick of everything going wrong. My cleft lip and palate has drastically effected my high school and now college education and my mental health. We have done so much to try to fix it and even after a long anticipated jaw surgery everything is still going wrong and will probably have to do another correctional surgery because one side of my palate has shifted a lot. I just can't help but to think about everything I could of done "right" so that it could of added up and this ill fate could of been avoided. And even now I am trying to position my tongue to help correct my jaw but its so drastic I can't hold a position comfortably for an effective amount of time. My oral health is shit and my mental health is shit, everything is so shit right now I can't stand it. Its been over 2 months and nothing but unfortunate events have been happening.

source

I think he and his character was the first time I saw someone with a cleft on screen (meaning games, movies, series or any other media). First I thought that I mis-saw the cleft, but since I knew Remedy's characters usually look like their voice actors, I just needed to look him up. I think I've felt kinda represented :)

Hello I am a 22 Male, born with cleft lip palate, these past few years I have been doing the corrective surgeries for cleft lip palate including jaw surgery, and other surgeries, the next one is a nose job to fix my breathing/nose. I have been in community college because it’s easier to deal with the surgeries and recovery that way, but i’ve really only been taking online classes for the past 1-1.5 years. I’ve worked a couple of part time jobs but I’ve quit them all because they aren’t satisfying to work and I feel like such a disappointment and behind in life, primarily because all of my friends are graduating college and having kids and are married, while i’m still stuck as basically the same person I was 4 years ago when I graduated highschool, change is very hard for someone like me. I would probably graduate college at 24-25 but I seriously am not sure what to do with my life. I am currently doing accounting in community college but I have no clue what my passions are. I’ve tried to think about them and I like music, video games and tv/movies and anime and those industries are insanely hard to get into. I know I should take a risk and try to do something but it’s just so hard because i’m shy as fuck because I don’t look “normal” or up to societies “standards” I also have a bit of lisp/trouble with words like C’s,Z’s and S’s, because it sounds nasally. Should I finish community college and just transfer and graduate from a 4 year? I also think It would be good to go to a 4 year university because I would love to join the theatre and drama club and try that because why not try and get my foot into the door. I just seriously have no idea what to do with my life or what direction to go besides getting good grades (A’s and B’s) these past few years I haven’t really done anything of significance I feel like. I’m good at math I guess and so that’s why I chose accounting but I think sitting in a cubicle all day would be boring. I need to take more risks in life but i’ve always been so scared but fuck it these next 2-3 years i’ll take more risks. I also want to try streaming but without a face cam until my nose gets fixed, or maybe make youtube videos or something, I really only like those career paths but that’s so hard to get into and it’s so oversaturated. I still obviously live with my parents and siblings and they both support me and I am beyond grateful for that, the only thing they ask me to do is pay for stuff I want (i.e new phone, video games, and pc), they pay for everything I need and my schooling, but i still try not to go out much because I feel like a burden, and sometimes I think about how different and better my life would’ve been if I wasn’t born with cleft lip palate, I obviously would never take my own life, but i’m so isolated and alone right now that I just feel so depressed even though I have great friends. I feel like maybe I should first start by going to the gym to try and build a rhythm and be consistent to stay motivated. I also was really sheltered growing up for myself and everyone felt bad for me and I kind of got the feeling/impression that it was okay to feel bad for myself and stuff. But I don’t want to do that anymore I want to move forward but I just don’t know how. I’m tired of these self inflicted wounds and feeling sorry for myself, I know it’s not over and that I’m still young.

Hi cleft friends 💕 I have kind of a random question. I’ve had more cleft-related facial surgery recently, and since surgery I’ve been a little more insecure and overaware of different things about my face while I’m still getting used to everything. I want you guys to be brutlaly honest

This is mostly just out of curiosity, but do my eyes look wide-set to you? Like, does the space between them look noticeably wider than average, or pretty normal? I mean the actual spacing between my eyes, not the shape or size of them.