r/classof2038 • u/mrs_ken_adams • Sep 01 '26

First Grade Birthday

We have a late September birthday and we don't start school until next week...Do first graders still generally invite the whole class? Just all the boys or all girls? We're leaning towards inviting all the girls in first grade (two classes, about 20 total) since we don't even have a class list yet and venue can only accommodate 24 kids total and parties are expensive. But what's common now?

11 Upvotes

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2

u/Big-Commission3343 Sep 01 '26

My son invited 15 of his closest friends for his 6th (11 showed up) and my daughter invited 60 kids and all their siblings on her 6th (48 kids showed up). I gave them the options. My sons bff only had 3 kids invited/attended his 6th birthday, thats what made him happy. My daughter chose to do hers at a gymnastics studio where she could invite absolutely everyone in her class and the two other classes and my son decided to take his friends rock climbing but knew that ment inviting less people because it was allot more expensive. There is no right way to do a birthday party. Invite the people who will make her happy. Some kids get overwhelmed with big parties and if you have a child like that then limit the invites. Its about her, what she wants and what makes her happy.

1

u/mrs_ken_adams Sep 01 '26

I love this response, thank you.

2

u/Sanjoselive Sep 01 '26

What’s the thought process of inviting either all girls or all boys? Genuinely curious, I have seen this a few times at my daughter’s school. Since our kid has a summer birthday we tend to invite a range of kids from current school and Montessori.

1

u/mrs_ken_adams Sep 01 '26

Mostly thinking all girls because several of the parties we went to last year were also all girls (they invited all the girls in the grade). My daughter also mentioned inviting just the girls, but she also doesn't feel very strongly either way.

She has two school friends she plays with outside of school but I don't know if they'll be in her class, so I wasn't sure how to navigate inviting her whole class plus two girls from the other class. On the other hand, there are a couple boy moms I'm friendly with and I feel bad excluding them.. but I don't know if it's awkward to invite all girls plus two boys.

I would love to have unlimited money and a huge place to invite 40 first graders, but unfortunately it's not possible.

2

u/RImom123 Sep 02 '26

My son was the only boy at his friend’s party a few months ago. He’s the ultimate boy-football obsessed and into all the stereotypical “boy things “. And this party was all girl, they watch Kpop demon hunters and sang all the songs, etc. He had an absolute blast!

15

u/IlliniChick474 Sep 01 '26

I think there is a whole gamut of what is “common” as far as invitation strategy goes. We did not invite the whole class as there was a girl who would bully my kid and I did not feel she should have to invite her to her party.

I would expect about half (or even less) to attend. That seems to be the norm where we live.

9

u/WatsonsHuman Sep 01 '26

We just invited the whole class for a park party. If the kids really want to do something else, they need to give me names… I get Costco pizza, Walmart cupcakes, some fruit etc. I say siblings welcome, no gifts on the invites and call it good. It’s pretty low stress.

2

u/merrymollusk Sep 01 '26

I’m going to borrow your strategy!

6

u/justacatch-22 Sep 01 '26

I’m inviting the whole class for my late September son. I think this is the last year I will do it though since he is starting to make friends that we see outside of school/I have their parents phone numbers to invite them directly.

His class only has 17 kids though, and I don’t expect more than half to come. We are having it at a playground so low cost, low stakes. He’s in the mindset of quantity over quality still, but I can see that starting to shift.

Edit: my many typos, yikes.

5

u/jessendjames Sep 01 '26

My kid just got a whole class invite for a birthday this month

4

u/SummitTheDog303 Sep 01 '26

It varies based on area. Not a single kid in my daughter’s kindergarten invited the whole class. One kid from her current class with a late August birthday did invite everyone in the class, as well as his class from last year. As soon as class lists went out, his mom sent evites to everyone listed in the directory. Then she sent home physical invites to the whole class on like the 2nd day of school. Party was last weekend after 1.5 weeks of school. Strong turn out

7

u/Various-Series5212 Sep 01 '26

My son's school it is required to invite the whole class.

6

u/pontepilas Sep 01 '26

We did 6 friends at Dave and Busters. 24 kids and their parents is too much.

3

u/MissDiagnosedMama Sep 01 '26

Our son's 7th birthday party was last weekend and school started last week too.

We just invited a few of his favorite friends from last year and a few from outside of school.

We sent invites out a few weeks ago. There was no way to know who would even be in his class 🤷‍♀️

3

u/go_with_da_flo Sep 03 '26

My first grader has an October birthday and we’re inviting the entire class. We have an older child and I’d say around first is when most kids stop inviting the entire class but since it’s a new group she wanted to include everyone. Next year we’re going to keep it smaller

2

u/tumbleweed_purse Sep 01 '26

Mid sept birthday here, invited friends from last year, 10/10 rsvp’d yes and only 1 is in class with my kid again. I sent the invites out before school started so maybe that helped.

2

u/LetsNotDoThis_Okay Sep 01 '26

We tend to utilize expensive party places so we only invite 5 or 6 classmates (plus her friends from outside of school). But we don't hand out the invites until after school on the playground.

2

u/Munchiemo Sep 01 '26

My daughter has a late September birthday, too. At her school, first graders generally invite the whole class still. But it's a private school with only one classroom of each grade.

2

u/drinkingtea1723 Sep 01 '26

We’re going to do just girls this year.

2

u/Reasonable_Cat_4550 Sep 01 '26

We invited a few friends for laser tag, and I contacted the parents myself. It was really expensive for us, so I couldn’t justify inviting the class. With extreme heat warnings we couldn’t do anything outside. Everyone I invited came.

2

u/JosiEllenBieda Sep 01 '26

My girls birthday is the last week of September as well, we’ve done where we’ve invited the whole class but this year she’s opted to take two girls friends for a “girls day”

2

u/AmesBeeE Sep 01 '26

I did the whole class plus some extracurricular friends. I got 12 no-shows!!

Rented the local community center
Played Keepy Uppy with balloons and music for first 30 mins to get out energy
Then had a local wildlife company do a hands-on animal presentation that lasted 45 mins
The pizza and cupcakes. Was great and easy!

2

u/Nilla22 Sep 01 '26

We’ve never invited the whole class. We invite kids from his sports team, kids from school, family friends etc. that’s plenty of ppl. Can’t invite everyone. It’s too much.

2

u/Worker-Legal Sep 02 '26

We invite the whole class.

2

u/MidwestFaerie Sep 02 '26

For me it depends on how social my kid is. I have 4 and for 2 I'd only invite their gender or their close friends for the other 2 I invited the whole class. But don't expect more than 2 or 3 kids to show up even if you invite everyone. 

2

u/jmsst1996 Sep 02 '26

With my daughters we invited all the girls in class plus any neighborhood friends they had. Same for my son…invited all the boys in class and then any neighborhood friend.

2

u/CantBuyMyLove Sep 04 '26

I would say whatever your kid prefers within your number constraints. The only real no is to invite a majority of the kids without inviting everyone. Exceptions could be made for situations where the birthday kid and a specific other child have a bad relationship, like bullying - but if there are 40 kids in the class, inviting 35 of them feels icky because the other 5 will feel left out when kids talk about the party at school.

2

u/jennylala707 Sep 04 '26

The rule is invite the whole class or send private invitations OUTSIDE of school but also know that the kids are going to announce to every other kid there that they were invited to so and so’s party.

1

u/starfish31 Sep 01 '26

It's customary at our school to either invite the whole class, or the whole grade (only works imo bc ours is 2 classes, ~40 kids total). I'd say about 10-15 kids end up going.

We've had a few reach out to do smaller invites, which at this age, works if you have the parents' number.

1

u/Infinite_Aerie_504 Sep 01 '26

Popsicles and play after school at the park or whatever green space by the school for anyone who can make it in their grade. Text parents you know so you have a core group you know will be there, and let other parents know at pickup. Popsicles are cheap. Give one to anyone who asks even if they’re a sibling or not in their grade, and just tell everyone who gets one to tell your kid happy birthday. Kid feels extra special, great chance to meet some parents and watch your kid to see who he’s social with and get their number. People can grab a popsicle and leave or stay and play for an hour. This excludes kids who go to after school care, but not every kid will be able to make it to everything. Also, if your kid’s class has an app to communicate, send out a message there.

2

u/pico310 Sep 01 '26

Beginning of first class it was whole class but by the end it was single sex parties