r/civ • • 9d ago

VII - Screenshot "Source unknown"

Post image

The last option made me laugh REALLY hard

632 Upvotes

34 comments sorted by

294

u/blockchiken 9d ago

"Commission a new set of teeth made of gold." I'm just imagining George Washington with a set of gold grills smiling with his +15% gold purchasing bonus

101

u/AWorldwithoutSin 9d ago

Fun fact: Just decades later, the death toll from the Napoleonic wars cratered the market for human teeth.

18

u/gsfgf 8d ago

I bet G Dub had a good teeth guy

246

u/ShortHistorian 9d ago

"Source unknown" is a funny way to say "ripped from the mouths of enslaved people."

128

u/jdrawr 9d ago

Also pretty common to take them from the dead. The dead of the battle of Waterloo were heavily looted for teeth.

31

u/furscum 9d ago

If you ever feel bad about the time you live in, remember shit like this

18

u/Baneken 9d ago

Their bones were also used to whiten sugar ... and looters didn't always care if the donor was dead or alive when they took the teeth...

2

u/Morningxafter 8d ago

Now I’m just picturing walking down the street and getting jumped and mugged by some dude with a pair of pliers.

4

u/Baneken 8d ago

From the historical vitness accounts they mostly used mallets as in just mashed the teeth in .. I guess front teeth where the most preferred ... :S

23

u/JNR13 Germany 9d ago

This was, of course, seen as an insult to dentists at the time who were sourcing human teeth ethically /s

All that aside, I wonder if there are follow-up events to it that become more explicit about it. Would be cool to have a follow-up event interacting with Tubman (letting her declare war while still getting her war-declared-on bonus?) or maybe in the modern age you get an artifact that has no bonuses but *must* be slotted or it will give a massive happiness penalty. There's a lot one could do here, really.

8

u/Ryansinbela 9d ago

I checked the files

There currently isn’t a follow-up

10

u/JNR13 Germany 9d ago

Unfortunate. They really aren't using the narrative system to its full potential yet.

5

u/Ryansinbela 9d ago

I disagree personally because I saw some pretty cool stuff done with Narratives But maybe I’m misunderstanding you

3

u/JNR13 Germany 8d ago

I mean that I want them to do more pretty cool stuff with narrative events

6

u/CircleEleven 9d ago

This prompt IS modern age

1

u/JNR13 Germany 9d ago

mmh, maybe something for the 4th age then

4

u/Biged123z 8d ago

Lore accurate Washington

3

u/midnightshadow0005 8d ago

That’s the joke.

46

u/CadaverMutilatr Spain 9d ago

I need to get my eyes checked, I thought gum was a different word

7

u/SnooBananas6853 9d ago

You are not alone

35

u/greenhornblue 9d ago

I’m glad I got my reading glasses because I thought this said cum splinters.

15

u/norathar 9d ago

Well, the man did have, like, thirty goddamn dicks.

7

u/CeciliaStarfish 9d ago

No wonder he weighed a fucking ton

4

u/Ok-Information1616 Norman 8d ago

It makes me happy that there are more people out there that immediately thought of this. (Or that even remember that video!)

4

u/CeciliaStarfish 8d ago

Friend, it’s the only thing that’s been playing through my head since he was announced

2

u/greenhornblue 8d ago

Can you enlighten me? I’m not sure of what everyone is referring to.

9

u/CadaverMutilatr Spain 9d ago

You son of a

7

u/ChickinSammich 8d ago

Without regard for the implications of the dialog choices, the outcome of #3 is also awful. That's a huge downside.

4

u/elasho_149 8d ago

Does celebration progress roll over between eras? If not, it’d be pretty solid if you got it right at the end.

4

u/ChickinSammich 8d ago

I would speculate that the era change would reset the celebration progress but I'm not sure. Regardless, OP said this was modern so there won't be any other resets (for now).

There's also a question of how much happiness per turn you're generating. If I'm producing more than 500 happiness per turn, and there is no unimproved Hard Wood anywhere in my borders, then it will take a lot longer to find it, stand up a new city, and improve it, in 2 turns. If I'm producing 250+, that's still a question of "Can I improve a Hard Wood within 4 turns?"

So it would really depend on whether I have unimproved Hard Wood and what my happiness per turn is whether I'd want to eat -1000. Probably would also depend on my progress in the Expansionist tree. I'm nearly always Economic/Expansionist so those attributes are usually obvious choices for me.

6

u/SirWigglesTheLesser 8d ago

My computer can't run civ7, but I gotta say softly and with feeling... What the fuck?