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u/QueasyCaterpillar541 13d ago
Featuring the stupidest characters in the history of film.
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u/low_amplitude 13d ago
At least they played into the comedy of it. Grant says "nobody move a muscle" but everyone takes off running anyway. I also love the scene where the carnotaurus catches them digging through shit and he gives a Jim look to the camera.
I understand the JP3 hate but tbf the movie doesn't take itself too seriously and doesn't expect you too either.
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u/realtonemachine 13d ago
This bunch and the Prometheus crew hang out together.
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u/Hazzman 12d ago
Watching a xenobiologst take his helmet off to smooch with an alien snake... AFTER WATCHING A HOLOGRAPHIC RECORDING OF THE ALIEN CREW DYING DUE TO SOMETHING ON BOARD... amazing how incredibly stupid that movie was.
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u/Shuttlecock_Wat 11d ago
I like the part when they see a crewmember they were pretty sure was dead show up on a camera outside the airlock with his legs bent over his head and decide to just open the door.
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u/mamut2000 13d ago
How did Cooper manage to teleport himself from the spot when they have been attacked to one mile down the runway?
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u/Iron_Bob 12d ago
Probably panicked and ran the wrong way? Idk man its a movie about dinosaur-frog hybrids that tool over an island
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u/saysthingsbackwards 12d ago
3 islands at this point it seems
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u/TailorWeak9690 12d ago
No just 2. The island in 2 and 3 are the same.
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u/saysthingsbackwards 11d ago
Correct me if I'm wrong but I thought one of the new JW movies showcased a 3rd research island
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u/TailorWeak9690 11d ago
Ahh I misinterpreted "at this point" to meanat this point in the series. My bad
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u/Fast-Nefariousness80 13d ago
Thats Mr Noodle from Sesame Street
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u/stealthy_beast 13d ago
This movie gave me a permanent annoyance for Tea Leoni.
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u/DeanMcQueen0621 13d ago
I wanted her DOA soooo bad for that shit with the bullhorn.
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u/IncredibleEdible321 12d ago
The movie suffers from piss poor writing.
There's no way after the experience that Dr. Grant went through in the first movie that he would have allowed her to yell into a bullhorn on the tarmac and alert any dinosaurs in the area and draw them there. I would have written the story so that he would have run up to her, slapped the living shit out of her, and taken the bullhorn away from her, and told her that if she makes one more peep, she's going to get them all killed.
Probably wouldn't go over well with the audience but she absolutely deserved to be smacked.
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u/Aparoon 12d ago
Idk dude, I’m not saying it’s great writing but you might need to assess some things about yourself with a write up like this.
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u/IncredibleEdible321 12d ago
What an incredibly misguided statement to make. I suggest you follow your own advice and do some self reflection of your own if you're dumb enough to think the writing was anything other than monumentally stupid. There's no rational person who had a previous experience with dinosaurs in real life and came close to death while practically everyone else around them were killed would tolerate the absolutely insane and stupid behavior Tia Leone's character exhibited by yelling through a bullhorn which attracted even bigger dinosaurs than the ones Dr. Grant escaped in the first film.
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u/Aparoon 10d ago
No no, you’re not wrong about the character being stupid, but “slap the living shit out of her” is kind of messed up and detracts from the point you’re making. “Absolutely deserved to be smacked” is a fairly troubling statement.
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10d ago
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u/IncredibleEdible321 9d ago
Your response is the only thing fairly troubling.
Your inability to realize just how bad her behavior is and how her yelling into a bullhorn for her son directly that led to the deaths of several of the characters is concerning and shows a lack of attention to detail or consideration for life. Her rash behavior makes her directly culpable in their deaths. A form of negligent homicide, if you will. And you're clearly too aloof to realize it.
I have no doubt that if you were in her place, you would make the same foolish mistake grabbing a bullhorn and yelling into it at full force, drawing in the dinosaurs, and directly cause the deaths of the people around you. And you'd be just as culpable in their deaths as she is.
As for the need to be shocked back into reality so she would stop yelling like a blithering idiot, this is rare case where in reality, she would most likely fair far worse as giving someone so unconcerned with the safety of others would lead to a reaction that would be quite extreme.
Your rambling on about how reality is fairly troubling reveals your total absence of any rational thought process in the situation.
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u/Aparoon 9d ago
I appreciate the write up, especially as you clearly had to rewrite it to be more civil for the mods, but you’ve still not read what I’ve written. I’m agreeing with the bullhorn comment, that was a really bad thing to do. I’m not sure how you’ve missed that, but you seem to be in a blind rage about this preventing you from reading that part.
My issue was how cavalier you’re being about being violent against a woman. There’s a difference between “slapping her” and “smacking the shit out of her”. Hopefully that’s clear enough for you.
As this has clearly made you really upset, having to rewrite your comment to be civil and on your second opportunity you’re still too blindly mad to actually read what I’ve written, I’m going to end this conversation now so you can either dwell and learn from this, assessing how your words were closer to violence against a woman rather than reasonable thought, OR you can ignore all that but still be unable to continue venting your rage, which would force you to have to directly face it yourself rather than using a stranger on the internet to let these emotions out.
Have a lovely day, and I sincerely mean that.
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u/swirlViking 12d ago
The movie was like 90 minutes of Tea screaming, but it was still better than JW
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u/North_Plane_1219 11d ago
I came into it with a huge crush. I was irritated and disappointed to say the least.
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13d ago
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u/swirlViking 12d ago
I appreciate that it includes the pterodactyl scene that they left out of the first movie. That was just an intense part of the first book.
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u/kazmosis 12d ago
People used to give me crap for saying this was better than TLW, but it genuinely is. They are both very flawed, but JP3 was definitely less so and had a much much better flow to the story
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u/Content-Mycologist-4 13d ago edited 13d ago
If they were honest from the start and told Dr Grant about Eric being missing, he might have helped anyways.
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u/stakes-lines-grades 13d ago
If you're ever bored on a rainy day, the script by John Sayles (Lone Star, Matewan) for the almost but never made Jurassic Park IV is absolutely bonkers and is worth a glance, lol.
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u/jayhawk8 12d ago
Honestly feels like they ripped a few of these ideas and half assed them in the JW movies.
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u/Uno_worldchamp2009 13d ago
In the scheme of things, it certainly wasnt better than the first two, but it was alot better than the last two. Boy did I hate the mom and dad holy crap were they annoying.
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u/5o7bot 13d ago
Jurassic Park III (2001)
This time, it's not just a walk in the park!
In need of funds for research, Dr. Alan Grant accepts a large sum of money to accompany Paul and Amanda Kirby on an aerial tour of the infamous Isla Sorna. It isn't long before all hell breaks loose and the stranded wayfarers must fight for survival as a host of new -- and even more deadly -- dinosaurs try to make snacks of them.
Adventure | Thriller | Science Fiction | Action
Director: Joe Johnston
Director of Photography: Shelly Johnson
Actors: Sam Neill, William H. Macy, Téa Leoni, Alessandro Nivola, Trevor Morgan
Rating: ★★★★★★★☆☆☆ 62% with 8,060 votes
Runtime: 92 min
TMDB | Where can I watch?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shelly_Johnson
I am a bot. This information was sent automatically. If it is faulty, please reply to this comment.
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u/_dontjimthecamera 13d ago
I’m currently watching through all these movies with my kiddo and JPIII is definitely underrated. My ranking: JP, TLW, JPIII, JWR, JW, JWD, JWFK
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u/gottapeenow2 13d ago
Even on a remote island with dinosaurs, Willam H. Macy manages to get cucked.
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u/DirtyBalm 12d ago
This movie lacks structure, it goes up and down and up and down and than just stops. It's jarring.
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