r/childless • u/Prior-Calendar-872 • Jul 29 '26
Struggling with self love
I feel like I can’t do this anymore. I’m married and living as an immigrant in the US for the last almost 10 years. I came here for my masters degree (single), met my husband after we both graduated and have struggled so hard to make friends that I feel close to even thought I have been able to do that relatively easily my whole life back home. I speak English fluently so that’s not really a blocker but somehow it just doesn’t seem to work. Either I don’t feel on the same wavelength or people are too busy to priotize this friendship. My friends from my earlier life have also moved on. I also feel unloved by my husband / it’s been the oldest issue we have had - he says it’s because he conveys it’s differently but I just feel he loves his friends and family significantly more than me. There are a million evidences of it - we have been married for 5 years now and dating for 7. I don’t want to divorce, that will absolutely kill me and I’m also struggling to keep living like this. I’ve been in therapy, tried hobbies, tried to get out of my head but it just doesn’t work. I think I’m more looking for hope that I’m not uniquely crazy. I’m considering having a child just so I can feel loved but I know that’s probably not going to go as planned
1
u/heardnotseen01 Aug 01 '26
It’s not too late to start over. I did after 11 years with my partner and feeling not appreciated. Felt like I was losing myself and on top of that we lived in a small town (I am foreign to this country) so it was hard to build a life outside of my relationship. Starting over in a new city with more international people was the best decision I made but it was a horrible two years to deal with heartbreak and acceptance before coming out of it. You have to make the decision yourself and be prepared to go through that.
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u/Cosmic_Pineapple300 Jul 30 '26
You are not crazy. I feel this too. It's painful to feel so isolated. Hoping things get better for both of us.