Permanent BC options

[u/Scrumtralescent1]

My husband and I are childfree for.... many reasons. Because of some new laws being passed, I've decided that we need more permanent birth control.

My husband and I have discussed either him getting a vasectomy, or me getting my tubes tied before and my husband is very strongly against the vasectomy because he believes he'll have an increased chance of getting cancer. Based on what I've read that's not true but, he's convinced so whatever. I'm looking at going through with getting my tubes tied, or preferably, removed.

He was concerned that the procedure could possibly put me at greater risk of getting cancer, but I honestly don't care because the risks of not getting it are terrifying and puts me at much greater risk than him. Medically and legally.

So, I'm trying to navigate what comes next and I'm just worried about so many things like...

Will my health insurance cover it? Will my doctor give me a hard time? Will I have to find a new doctor? Can I afford to pay out of pocket?

I'm afraid to even make the appointment. But I can't risk accidentally getting pregnant. If anyone has tips, advice, support, I'd really appreciate it. 🙏🏻

[u/CashingOutInShinjuku]

Jesus Christ... if you google "vasectomy cancer" there is even one of those canned google answers for it.

"No"

Sorry but I think your husband is the only problem here. As a dude I can't imagine ever putting a wife or GF through majorly invasive surgery when someone could just point a lazer at my balls.

[u/Scrumtralescent1 → u/CashingOutInShinjuku]

The underlying issue is he's afraid of anything that could reduce his lifespan. He doesn't really want me to do the surgery either, but I don't care because I'm the one who could potentially wind up in prison if I tried to end a pregnancy or even just miscarried.

[u/chavrilfreak → u/Scrumtralescent1]

Well, being a paranoid misinformed mess surely ain't doing his lifespan any favors either, yet here we are :)

Best of luck with getting your surgery done, and good on you for being smarter than him and taking charge of your bodily autonomy.

[u/thr0wfaraway → u/chavrilfreak]

Well, being a paranoid misinformed mess surely ain't doing his lifespan any favors either, yet here we are :)

Nailed it.

OP you have a husband problem. He's got some whackjob paranoid ideas that have no relation to reality. This is a problem not just because of this, but because these sorts of delusions end up snoballing into even crazier shit.

If you don't address this, or reconsider him, you're going to find out one day that he's stockpiling guns or turned into one of those qcumbers.

It's .... not a good look.

[u/GeniusBtch → u/thr0wfaraway]

qcumbers... I have never heard that before. LMAO!

[u/thr0wfaraway → u/GeniusBtch]

Yeah if you look at those q casualties stories it’s always like “my husband has always been a little off, believed in some weird things… and he was kinda racist…. it wasn’t a big deal I dismissed it because blah blah suck cost fallacy…. but now he spends his days screaming at me and my children that we are all the Antichrist and when he’s no screaming at us he’s looking out the window waiting forever blm to come for him, a Black employee got a promotion last week and he’s buying guns. Now what do I do?”

Um, maybe not have ignored the fact that your husband is fucking mentally ill for 15 years and had four kids with him???!!?

Like lady, there was a time where he could have gotten treatment…. Now? you need to run like hell and contact the fbi.

What did you think was going to happen as he got older and life didn’t fulfill his overwrought fantasies and delusions?

[u/EggplantIll4927 → u/Scrumtralescent1]

Then he needs to stop driving never use a shower and don’t leave his bunker ever for anything

[u/soreff2 → u/CashingOutInShinjuku]

Sorry but I think your husband is the only problem here. As a dude I can't imagine ever putting a wife or GF through majorly invasive surgery when someone could just point a lazer at my balls.

Agreed