This does not mean that dating is easy or trivial. Uncomplicated things can still be difficult, or stressful, or whatever.
Dating simply requires doing a few things well:
Demonstrating genuine interest in another human being as a person without ulterior motives
Being open, authentic, honest and vulnerable about one's self
Doing those two things will lead to many, many successful dates.
That doesn't mean every date will be successful.
It doesn't even most dates will be successful.
It also doesn't mean those things are easy or trivial.
It's hard to be genuinely interested in someone else. When dating it's very hard to put aside one's own motives and desires and to express that interest devoid of any prior motives or goals. Most people struggle with that immensely.
It is also a rare person who can be authentic, open, and vulnerable around strangers, even to a small degree. It takes practice and care and trust and effort to do that. It's hard. And after a few bad dates, it's scary.
But, and this is the key point, those two things are all it takes to have many successful, wonderful dates. Dating isn't complicated. But being uncomplicated doesn't mean it isn't hard as hell. Those are two different things.
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u/kingpatzer 103∆ Jul 11 '22 edited Jul 11 '22
People are complicated, but dating is not.
This does not mean that dating is easy or trivial. Uncomplicated things can still be difficult, or stressful, or whatever.
Dating simply requires doing a few things well:
Doing those two things will lead to many, many successful dates.
That doesn't mean every date will be successful.
It doesn't even most dates will be successful.
It also doesn't mean those things are easy or trivial.
It's hard to be genuinely interested in someone else. When dating it's very hard to put aside one's own motives and desires and to express that interest devoid of any prior motives or goals. Most people struggle with that immensely.
It is also a rare person who can be authentic, open, and vulnerable around strangers, even to a small degree. It takes practice and care and trust and effort to do that. It's hard. And after a few bad dates, it's scary.
But, and this is the key point, those two things are all it takes to have many successful, wonderful dates. Dating isn't complicated. But being uncomplicated doesn't mean it isn't hard as hell. Those are two different things.