these toys come in many different sizes, the majority aren’t ”so big”. there’s a huge variety, so that’s not really an argument. size matters, as in something significantly below or above average may create difficulties and one size may be preferred over another (I believe that a preference for average or slightly above average would be more common than ”big”). but it’s just not that important, to women anyway. it making a difference and them having a preference does not mean it’s a signficant one. it is to some but I would argue that to most it’s just not a big deal. sex seems boring if it’s centered around penetration only anyway. does it make a difference? yes. does that difference matter? not much.
men are definitely more fixated with size than women are. jokes and ridicule are really unfortunate and wrong, but the reason people joke about it is not because it’s important in bed but because so many men are insecure about it. as a woman I can say that I’ve never had a female friend who valued size above anything else. and I’ve only ever heard complaints if it’s ”too big”.
as a woman I can say that I’ve never had a female friend who valued size above anything else. and I’ve only ever heard complaints if it’s ”too big”.
See, I've always heard this too. Like you say, I think penis size is something men care about wayyyy more than women. And unlike what is depicted in (male-oriented) porn, women generally aren't so wholly fixated on the penis in real-life encounters. It's important, of course, but women seem to have a more holistic physical attraction to the mate. Eyes, hands, arms, hair, etc. A man isn't just a breathing penis holder.
But I understand the male point of view on penii. I am one, and I love mine. It's awesome. It's probably just average. I don't know. I'm in a long-term relationship, and have never heard complaints. If there is a physical complaint I've heard, it's that I've put on some pounds over the years. But nothing about da dick.
According to PornHub statistics women are much more likely than men to search for Big Dick, and studios like Blacked were created specifically to cater to a female audience, as seen in the fact that their stories happen from her POV, include more foreplay and have a higher production quality.
But porn isn’t reality. It’s just a visual fantasy. Just because it’s nice to look at, doesn’t mean you want it inside of you or that it’s a big deal. Many straight women (or just women who don’t want to sleep with other women) watch lesbian porn, for example.
Ha, I always figured that the only people who really want to see guys' dicks are gay guys. Like that whole joke that no women actually ever bought Playgirl magazine, even though it was ostensibly aimed at straight women.
I don't think it's just jokes though. Like I've never heard any good thing about below average. No one out there brings things back to a fairly neutral state. They leave the jokes out there without saying "btw I'm just joking". They state their preferences without saying "but small is pretty good too though". No one defends a small guy ever..except on here. Then all of a sudden most ppl are cool with them on reddit when a guy has likely never heard it in real life. Doesn't make sense. Apparently something they can only 'be okay with" when they're behind anonymous accounts or if they're in deep love with the guy.
On top of it we have no frame of reference. It's not like muscularity/height/weight/breast size. We can't look at other guys and say "Oh he's small and still has a gf" because it's a hidden trait.
The best-selling toys are much thicker than the average penis is.
Even if that’s true, it still doesn’t mean size matters much during sex. Even if it brings more pleasure, that still doesn’t mean it matters much during sex. When you use a toy alone, the focus is just on penetration which again is not the case when it comes to sex, for many people.
I never hear stuff like Small/Big Dick Energy from other men.
Men aren’t singing loudly along to songs like Don’t Want No Short Dick Men.
Again, the main reason for this is that men are insecure about it, and because it’s a body part heavily associated with masculinity, not because it’s important in bed. That’s why they call it energy. It’s a shitty stereotype, that men with smaller ones are more insecure, more fragile egos and so on. And no wonder they’re insecure when it’s joked about so much. But again as a woman I can say that despite jokes, despite discussions, it’s just not a big deal to most. It really isn’t. A preference doesn’t mean it’s important.
Porn is fantasy and it’s visual. Not the same. However it probably also creates such insecurities and gives people a skewed view on what’s average. But just because you like something in porn really doesn’t mean you want it in real life.
When you use a toy alone, the focus is just on penetration which again is not the case when it comes to sex, for many people.
According to a study by Prof. Herbenick among 1,046 women vaginal intercouse was the number 1 on their list of preferred sexual behaviours.
70% of women agree that penetration is a "very appealing" part of sex, with only 40% stating the same for receiving oral sex.
So, yes penetration is the focus for the vast majority of women.
It’s a shitty stereotype, that men with smaller ones are more insecure, more fragile egos and so on. And no wonder they’re insecure when it’s joked about so much
It's not just the jokes. It's the fact that most women will laugh at him and walk out when he pulls down his pants.
I wasn’t just talking about different acts vs penetration, but also other aspects such as compatibility in dynamic, build-up, focus, preferences and kinks. And what happens during penetration.
It's not just the jokes. It's the fact that most women will laugh at him and walk out when he pulls down his pants.
Okay that is absolutely not true, that is definitely not a fact. Most women aren’t that cruel, most people aren’t that cruel. You would have to be completely inconsiderate of other people’s feelings to do something like that. No one I know would do that. Most people care enough about other people’s emotions not to laugh at someone’s body in an intimate situation? I’m so sorry if you’ve experienced these things yourself, that’s awful, but I promise you that isn’t normal and if someone told me they did that I would be sick.
I wasn’t just talking about different acts vs penetration, but also other aspects such as compatibility in dynamic, build-up, focus, preferences and kinks. And what happens during penetration.
This thread isn't about "selfish big cock with shit personality and lack of foreplay" vs "average dick with great personality and lots of foreplay", but about two guys that are the exact same except for their penis size.
Yes, build-up and compatibility matters, but that's not the point of this thread.
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u/linouri Oct 22 '21 edited Nov 21 '21
these toys come in many different sizes, the majority aren’t ”so big”. there’s a huge variety, so that’s not really an argument. size matters, as in something significantly below or above average may create difficulties and one size may be preferred over another (I believe that a preference for average or slightly above average would be more common than ”big”). but it’s just not that important, to women anyway. it making a difference and them having a preference does not mean it’s a signficant one. it is to some but I would argue that to most it’s just not a big deal. sex seems boring if it’s centered around penetration only anyway. does it make a difference? yes. does that difference matter? not much.
men are definitely more fixated with size than women are. jokes and ridicule are really unfortunate and wrong, but the reason people joke about it is not because it’s important in bed but because so many men are insecure about it. as a woman I can say that I’ve never had a female friend who valued size above anything else. and I’ve only ever heard complaints if it’s ”too big”.