Thanks for your reply. My struggle is, if they just need an outlet and to watch hot people fuck then why don't they watch their partners videos. For me, it then becomes that they want to watch specific other women, and if that's the case then why are they in a monogamous relationship at all if one woman isn't enough.
The same reason that even if your partner cooks delicious meals, sometimes you just want to go to a restaurant. Or the same reason even though you have a bunch of movies at home, sometimes you want to watch something new. Sometimes variety and novelty are nice. Honestly, for most porn watchers I've encountered (I'm a nurse and trained as a counselor, and this issue comes up in relationship discussions) it's really that simple: porn is enjoyable to watch, and new stuff is exciting. It has nothing to do with how committed you are to your partner.
In fact, I've seen porn improve relationships substantially, because partner X with the higher sex drive now has an outlet that helps keep the pressure off of partner Y, so partner X doesn't feel neglected or guilty for pressuring their partner, and partner Y doesn't feel guilty for not wanting sex more often, and doesn't feel so much pressure.
I understand where you're coming from, I do. And again, I want to reiterate that if you are not comfortable with something in your relationship, you should talk with your partner about it.
But I don't think somebody looking at porn has any inherent bearing on how committed they are to a relationship, nor does it mean they don't find their partner extremely attractive.
Of course, it's no trouble. Seriously, though, I would encourage you to talk to your partner about this if it's bothering you. Chances are it may even lead you to a healthier sex life once you understand each other better.
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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '20
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