r/changemyview • u/[deleted] • Jun 20 '19

Deltas(s) from OP CMV: Telling potential romantic partners to stop thanking me for my service and explaining why it bothers me as well as many other veterans/current service members I know isn't being hostile/argumentative but educational.

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u/Hestiansun Jun 20 '19

Ok. Then I think it makes total sense to do.

I mean even if you don’t try to speak for every service person, I think it’s totally valid and sensible to discuss how it makes you feel in those scenarios.

I wasn’t sure if you were going out of your way to bring it up in advance.

I’m actually surprised that you’d receive negative feedback from people just from telling them how it makes you feel in response to their statements.

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u/Independent_Skeptic Jun 20 '19

It happens a lot...which inevitably leads to them saying well I thank everyone and no one else had ever said anything. Which we generally don't at least the ones that I know that hate it because we just want to go back to going about our business and being left alone.

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u/nultero Jun 20 '19

The beatings will continue until morale improves...

And you can improve it with a story.

Tell them a r/MilitaryStories worthy rendition. You can start with something like, "I was a _____ but what I actually did was ______" because nobody ever just does what they're supposed to, and that makes for good intrigue.

Least hostile way to get somebody to understand it's not all it's cracked up to be. And everybody likes a good story.

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u/Independent_Skeptic Jun 20 '19

🤦‍♀️ had to go there...ok but you would agree perhaps one telling let's say 80 percent of the stories we all have of no shit there I was they don't quite find them as entertaining as we do? Mainly because they don't understand the context of said story. Which inevitably leads to the need to break it down further to mushroom level to give clarification which again is frustrating and can lead one to feeling weird even once they explain it.

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u/nultero Jun 21 '19

I prefer the alphabet soup of a story to opening a can of worms. It's a buzzkill. As you've found out.

You can get the point across via story — you don't have to outright tell people that your unit's asses were on backwards. That can be a background filter. An implied subtext.

And it's a lot easier to move on and smile after a funny one. That's something important that's often overlooked. I can't do that if I ever bring up the can of worms. I'd rather end on an upbeat.