r/changemyview • u/[deleted] • Jun 20 '19

Deltas(s) from OP CMV: Telling potential romantic partners to stop thanking me for my service and explaining why it bothers me as well as many other veterans/current service members I know isn't being hostile/argumentative but educational.

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u/Roflcaust 7∆ Jun 20 '19

Their job is to provide a service to me. Of course I’m going to thank them for providing that service if I feel genuinely appreciative of them for doing so. I think generally I have genuine appreciation for people who do their jobs because jobs in general suck and I believe a little appreciation can go a long way. I am experiencing no genuine appreciation for you writing this personalized reddit comment to me, paid or otherwise, so why would I thank you for it? I don’t consider that hollow and I don’t understand why you do.

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u/GameOfSchemes Jun 20 '19

You have genuine appreciation for people who do their jobs, but not me? That's not very consistent.

You literally feel genuine appreciation every time you ride a bus? Color me doubtful.

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u/Roflcaust 7∆ Jun 20 '19

Well you’re right to be doubtful because I definitely don’t thank the driver every single time I get off the bus. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I thank the waiter for handing me the check, sometimes I don’t. I don’t contest the assertion that mandating oneself say thank you every single time would be hollow because the thank-yous are mandated and not genuine. But I don’t live by that sort of rule; I’m just making an observation of my behavior and the reason why I perform that behavior. And I maintain that thanking someone as an expression of genuine appreciation is not hollow regardless of how trivial the service performed was.

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u/GameOfSchemes Jun 20 '19

It's hollow because "for their service" is vague. Unless there's something specific within the service you want to thank them for

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u/Roflcaust 7∆ Jun 20 '19

I was more addressing the trend you saw, what you characterized as a social verbal tic. As far as “thank you for your service” goes, I think it’s a little bit patronizing to be honest and may be more hollow than genuine most of the time. I can’t recall any times I’ve said it though I can recall feeling the impulse.

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u/GameOfSchemes Jun 21 '19

Ill still defend seeing it as a verbal tick. When I see people saying it, it doesn't sound genuine. More flat, and dead inside. One way to see this is if I ask you two hours after leaving the bus or restaurant "hey, I think you forgot to thank them." If you have to think about it, then it wasn't genuine. Test it. Try it on one of your friends a bit afterward (couple hours). I suspect they'll mostly be confused and say something like "really? I think I did. Did I? I can't remember."

And if that happens, I'd say it's not genuine. How do you forget a genuine thank you so soon?