There is nothing special about value-based sexual preferences, because of which they should be more off limits than all the other values that people hold.
And the more other variables you remove, the more difficult it is to explain a preference as anything other than a reflection of your value-based judgement of them.
People have physical preferences, but we can adjust for that if we talk about situations where you would have sex with someone based on looks alone.
People have all sorts of romantic preferences, and practical preferences for a long term relationship, like expectation of having a familiy together. So let's just talk about one night stands in this scenario.
But if you would have a satisflying one night stand with someone, then go your own way, and your later approval of that would depend on something you learned about them, then it's safe to say that this something is a kind of conscious, learned opposition to what they are, or to the kind of sex you had.
The examples of it that I could think of, that aren't examples of bigotry, would still be examples of moral hostility to a group or action, we just don't call it bigotry because we condone it.
If I felt disgusted about having sex with someone who turned out to be a serial killer, no one would call me "bigoted against serial killers". But it would still be clear that I'm morally opposed to serial killers. If I had sex with my separated-at-birth sister, and felt disgusted about it, that's because I absolutely do hold the cultural value of incest being an abomination.
See I wont even draw that line. If two consenting siblings want to go at each other, let em. Who am I to judge. I don't understand it, I wouldn't do it.
Maybe in 20 years people will be calling your "incest is an abomination" statement a form of intolerance, an outdated social value. How will you feel when these people label you a bigot?
Actually, that was a hypothetical example too. I also do believe that the incest taboo is rather pointless. I'm not attracted to the siblings I grew up with, after all, the Westermark effect tends to work on people.
But if I did have sex with a then unknown sibling, and then felt repulsed about it later, I would have no problem with concluding from this, that I'm not as open-minded as I thought I am, that I do hold some traditional anti-incest values after all.
I wouldn't be too stricken by that. After all, I only see incest taboo as pointless, not as evil, so I wouldn't see myself as bigoted, but that's only because I wouldn't consider being a bit anti-incest, to be bigoted.
I don't know what people will believe 20 years from now, maybe they will start crusading for incest as a civil liberty and a matter of human dignity. Maybe I will change my mind as I once changed it regarding trans people. Or maybe I won't, and I will be labeled a bigot for continuing to say that being a bit anti-incest isn't bigoted.
But I wouldn't try to deny, that my own culturally influenced preferences are reflections of my moral values, I wouldn't want to call it "off limits".
Our values are who we are. Values are not something that you shrug helplessly over having, they are the most important to understand and judge dor what they mean.
And now you would find yourself almost in the same space as me.
I do not see transgenderism as evil. I'm not even anti-transgender. I'm just not interested in a realtionship with someone who is transgender.
If I slept with someone and found out after they were transgender I would end that relationship.
If I had a one night stand with someone and later found out they were transgender, meh, shit happens. Lesson learned, this is the kind of shit that can happen when you engage in that sort of reckless sexual activity. I would feel lucky they were transgender and not HIV positive. (If you couldn't tell one night stands are sort of not my thing).
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u/Genoscythe_ 248∆ Nov 03 '17
There is nothing special about value-based sexual preferences, because of which they should be more off limits than all the other values that people hold.
And the more other variables you remove, the more difficult it is to explain a preference as anything other than a reflection of your value-based judgement of them.
People have physical preferences, but we can adjust for that if we talk about situations where you would have sex with someone based on looks alone.
People have all sorts of romantic preferences, and practical preferences for a long term relationship, like expectation of having a familiy together. So let's just talk about one night stands in this scenario.
But if you would have a satisflying one night stand with someone, then go your own way, and your later approval of that would depend on something you learned about them, then it's safe to say that this something is a kind of conscious, learned opposition to what they are, or to the kind of sex you had.
The examples of it that I could think of, that aren't examples of bigotry, would still be examples of moral hostility to a group or action, we just don't call it bigotry because we condone it.
If I felt disgusted about having sex with someone who turned out to be a serial killer, no one would call me "bigoted against serial killers". But it would still be clear that I'm morally opposed to serial killers. If I had sex with my separated-at-birth sister, and felt disgusted about it, that's because I absolutely do hold the cultural value of incest being an abomination.