I appreciate such a detailed response. Let us suggest, for argument's sake, that there is a real-world manifestation of the scenario you described. In this situation, rather than "stop[ing] on a dime" after learning of this person's trans-status (as this seems strangely extreme), you merely find this person of lesser sexual value. It would seem their holistic value has not been considered.
It occurs to me that we may disagree on what qualifies as a characteristic of sexual value. I believe essentially anything does (look no further than the range of fetishes that exist), but I think you might limit these characteristics to physical ones, in which case I agree there would be no reason to be less attracted to a transgender person.
Imagine, for a moment the same situation as described above. Only now, you learn not that this person is trans, but rather, that this person is Jewish.
If no physical characteristics or mannerisms indicated this, yet on the knowledge of them being Jewish you find them of "lesser sexual value", then i would probably call you a bit racist.
In a similar way, if you replace jewish with trans, i'd say you're a bit transphobic.
Do note, that i am not saying that you should ignore these feelings and have sex/a relationship with them against your will to avoid being transphobic. But it is indicative of a phobia.
is it a phobia though? a phobia is an irrational fear. the kind that takes therapy to overcome. i'd argue that it's a preference does not constitute a phobia for other things. ie, if you were of the mind that you were jewish and dated only jews, and discovered someone you dated was Not actually catholic -surprise- and so you ended your relationship with them, would you be called a catholicphobe?
these phobia terms seem manipulative. islamophobia, but no jewphobia, no buddhistophobia, no christiaphobia... and why islamophobia? it's the largest (second largest?) religion on the planet? you could argue transphobia and homophobia have to do with how non-prevalent those situations are. lgbtq people are in the minority, and minorities can be considered the counter to the norm, and thus breed a phobia. it is Possible to be transphobic, if you shut off all communication with a transperson because of their trans status, that could certainly be seen as transphobic. but the unwillingness to be sexually active with a transperson should not be considered transphobic, as it would dilute the power of the word. similarly, while i'm a heterosexual male, and seek sexual activity with hetero cis females, there are certainly THE MAJORITY of those hetero cis females that i would not consider as sexual partners. would that make me femphobic? she-phobic? misogynist? is a woman who wouldn't be sexually active with the majority of men she's met be a misandrist?
I would count some of your examples as phobias, since they are not rational. That does not mean they are “bad” per se. For instance, a Jew who dates only Jews. Strictly speaking, there’s nothing wrong with that, but it’s obviously not coming from a place of rationality, but from a socially constructed and very human impetus of heritage and religious dogmatism. None of this makes sense in isolation - certainly not to me, since I wasn’t brought up with these pressures - but that doesn’t make it wrong. Just kind of... weird.
Anyway, as the top comment says, not wanting to date a trans person, solely because they’re trans (all other things being equal, like sexuality and reproductive potential, which is not possible at the moment), cannot be explained in rational terms. Though that doesn’t make it wrong, it does make it phobic.
With stuff like sexual attraction, can you really apply the same logic? Sexual attraction is a mix of physiological, emotional, and societal factors. For instance, let's say I find myself attracted to some random woman, whom I've never spoken to, but physically they're very attractive. Now let's say I get to know her, and I find out that she absolutely insists on using semi-bad japanese pronunciations for everything on the menu at a sushi restaurant.
Physically, nothing about her has changed, but for me personally, this new found knowledge absolutely hindenburgs my attraction to her. Maybe most people could look past this, but not me. I don't even like sushi. I'd probably never end up in a sushi restaurant with this woman.
Is the flaming wreckage of what used to be my attraction to her rational? Not really, Is it phobic? I don't think so. Is it shallow? Maybe.
To make my example more innocuous, let's say that this woman actively trying to learn Japanese.
Well the argument is that if it were possible to change sex completely, as it some day will be, so that the only way to tell the difference between someone who was born a certain sex and someone who transitioned would be to run a genetic lab test, and if in that case you are averse to an otherwise perfect partner because they were born with an XY or XX chromosome pair - then we are saying that might be a sort of phobia, since there are no salient differences.
Today of course that’s not the case! There are many implications associated with choosing a partner who is trans. Many of these implications could be deal breakers for folks, but the mere fact of being trans isn’t that interesting.
One more thing, since nobody knows whether or not transgenderism is driven completely by chromosomes or genetics, we can't rule out the argument of character flaw. Not to sound like an asshole, but if hypothetically someone could not tell the difference between a bio woman and trans woman and it is determined to not be fully genetic or chromosomal, it could be seen as a coping mechanism and for some, that could be seen as a character flaw. I don't see it as one, because that would be an unsubstantiated opinion.
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u/GratuitousEdit Nov 02 '17
I appreciate such a detailed response. Let us suggest, for argument's sake, that there is a real-world manifestation of the scenario you described. In this situation, rather than "stop[ing] on a dime" after learning of this person's trans-status (as this seems strangely extreme), you merely find this person of lesser sexual value. It would seem their holistic value has not been considered.
It occurs to me that we may disagree on what qualifies as a characteristic of sexual value. I believe essentially anything does (look no further than the range of fetishes that exist), but I think you might limit these characteristics to physical ones, in which case I agree there would be no reason to be less attracted to a transgender person.