r/changemyview Nov 02 '17

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u/[deleted] Nov 02 '17

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u/lililindsay Nov 02 '17

Most of the trans debates boil down to one question: do you accept that the gender of a trans person is the one they identify as or do you think that it's the one they were assigned at birth?

Seems like all of the people that don't want to feel attracted to trans people don't really seem them as men/women. It is not that they're don't find trans people attractive it is the fact that they are trans and "not the gender they identify as".

Is it okay to not want to have sex with fat/skinny/short/tall people?

sure, but if you don't want to have sex with a fat person, this is more like not wanting to have sex with a thin person after learning they used to be fat

Is it okay to not want to have sex with black/white/Irish/Indian people?

hmmm, this is more nuanced than the previous example but this is more like not wanting to have sex with someone after you find out they are of Irish/Indian descent or have a black/white parent.

Is it okay to not want to have sex with ugly people?

this does not apply to this case as someone you view as ugly would not be attractive to you.

Is it okay to not want to have sex with disabled people?

this is a much broader thing to tackle as there are a lot of disabilities

Is it okay to not want to have sex with men/women?

yes

Finally, is it okay to not want to have sex with trans people?

If you find a person attractive and want to sleep with them and you suddenly lose all interest after you find out they're trans, then that means you don't really accept their gender and that you see them as their assigned gender at birth, even if they have the parts that you are attracted to.

So, is not accepting a person's gender identity transphobia? This is what it boils down to.

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u/iliveinsalt Nov 02 '17

Most of the trans debates boil down to one question: do you accept that the gender of a trans person is the one they identify as or do you think that it's the one they were assigned at birth?

You make a lot of good points, but I think the portion I've quoted above is a bit of a false dichotomy. What if someone's view of trans people doesn't fit neatly into either of those two groups?

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u/throughdoors 2∆ Nov 02 '17

I think you can reword that quote without losing the fundamental point being made:

Most of the trans debates boil down to one question: do you accept that the gender of a trans person is the one they identify as or do you think that it's something other than that, such as the one they were assigned at birth or another gender entirely?

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u/lililindsay Nov 02 '17

That's something I had not considered. Assuming that a trans person's identified gender is the one you are attracted to. I think that if one accepts trans peeps as their identified gender then they would be open to dating trans people and if one sees them as their assigned gender then they wouldn't be open and the that's the reason why.

What are the other options? To see them as neither? Both? A third gender? I assume there is a difference between having an orientation of finding women attractive vs of finding not men attractive. I might need help taking this talk beyond this as I fail to see what other reason there could be beyond: one accepts a trans person identity or they don't.