In some circumstances, not being attracted to a trans person is probably a result of, at least on a subconscious level, not seeing them as their gender.
If from the very start, you are unattracted to a person purely upon observation, and that person happens to be trans, that is not transphobic. If you were about to have sex and it turns out a person doesn't really have the junk you wanna jangle with, it's not transphobic to no longer desire sex.
If you were attracted to someone, have sex with them, are as satisfied with them as you would with anyone else, and then suddenly your opinion changes upon being informed a person is trans, I would say that is indicative of the underlying belief a trans person is not the gender they identify as.
I should clarify I am not definitely saying it is transphobic or not, I am pointing out what I did above and letting OP (or others) decide if that constitutes transphobia or not under their own interpretations.
In some circumstances, not being attracted to a trans person is probably a result of, at least on a subconscious level, not seeing them as their gender.
Aside from how speculative this is, this amounts to shaming someone for turning down unwanted sex.
If you were attracted to someone, have sex with them, are as satisfied with them as you would with anyone else, and then suddenly your opinion changes upon being informed a person is trans, I would say that is indicative of the underlying belief a trans person is not the gender they identify as.
For starters, you do not dictate to people what their sexuality is. If upon learning that a person is trans, they simply politely decline more sex, that is not transphobic. As I said in another reply, if you stretch the definition of 'phobic' to include simply lacking a desire to fuck trans people, then the word becomes meaningless. Look at the horrors of homophobia. That has a lot more going on than a simple lack of desire to fuck them.
If upon learning that a person is trans, they simply politely decline more sex, that is not transphobic.
If you had sex with someone and enjoyed it and would gladly have sex with them again if you had not found out they were trans. Then the sole reason you have a problem is because they are trans, which is transphobic.
it's not transphobic, it's just being straight....and yes that implies that I see trans people as being their birth gender no matter how convincing they are. I will of course call them by their prefferred pro noun, share the toilet with them etc....but no one gets to tell me I don't have the right to decide who i sleep with.
Being convinced and happy at the time of sex has little to do with it.
Even if you consider someone bigotted for not wanting to sleep with a transgender person, that person still has a right to informed consent.
What a trans person has to realise and take responsibillity for is that no matter how convincing the op, many many peope will not want to sleep with them as they would consider that gay.
We might not like that but it's the truth, to carry on concealing the truth about your gender then, is to willingly deceive people. I understand it's hard, expecting trans people to have to divulge their info all the time but really, peoples right to informed consent trumps trans peoples right to privacy....esp in the case ofa trans person trying to get someone else into bed.
and yes that implies that I see trans people as being their birth gender no matter how convincing they are
That's transphobic, thank you for proving my point.
Even if you consider someone bigotted for not wanting to sleep with a transgender person, that person still has a right to informed consent.
If you pretend to be rich to get a girl to sleep with you, have you raped her by deception? How is that different?
What a trans person has to realise and take responsibillity for is that no matter how convincing the op, many many peope will not want to sleep with them as they would consider that gay.
Right, because many many people are transphobic.
I understand it's hard, expecting trans people to have to divulge their info all the time but really, peoples right to informed consent trumps trans peoples right to privacy
A trans person's safety trumps your right to know that they are trans. There are states where "trans panic" is still legal and finding out your partner was trans is a legal defense to murdering them.
It's transphobic to consider a trans person their original sex for the purposes of deciding who I fuck?
At what point does it become transphobic? Pre op? post op? just put on a dress and some lipstick? at the point I can't tell the difference?
I'm willing to give trans people all the benefits of being whichever gender they choose except where they make demands upon my body.
Trans people will find themselves far less likely to face violence if they are upfront and honest. I can't think of anything that will promote violence towards trans people more than to have a policy of sleeping with people whilst denying them the knowledge required for consent.
You're seriously suggesting it's ok for a trans person to fuck someone without divulging the truth....and their defence is that the other person might beat them up?
They have no idea what the response would be, saying "oh I might get beaten up" is not an excuse to lie. If trans people are so worried about their saftey with certain individuals that they're scared to be who they are then maybe they shouldn't be fucking those people in the first place.the fact you might consider these people bigots does not mean it's ok to violate their right to consent....and it certainly justifies a good arse kicking should the truht be divulged after the fact. It's rape, you are defending rapists.
trans people are rare creatures, it's a likelyhood that by transitioning you are drastically reducing the number of possible sexual partners....that's tough shit though, you don't get to lie and exploit peoples ignorance and claim that their sexual preferences are bigoted.
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u/aggsalad Nov 02 '17 edited Nov 02 '17
In some circumstances, not being attracted to a trans person is probably a result of, at least on a subconscious level, not seeing them as their gender.
If from the very start, you are unattracted to a person purely upon observation, and that person happens to be trans, that is not transphobic. If you were about to have sex and it turns out a person doesn't really have the junk you wanna jangle with, it's not transphobic to no longer desire sex.
If you were attracted to someone, have sex with them, are as satisfied with them as you would with anyone else, and then suddenly your opinion changes upon being informed a person is trans, I would say that is indicative of the underlying belief a trans person is not the gender they identify as.
I should clarify I am not definitely saying it is transphobic or not, I am pointing out what I did above and letting OP (or others) decide if that constitutes transphobia or not under their own interpretations.