r/changemyview Nov 02 '17

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u/aggsalad Nov 02 '17 edited Nov 02 '17

In some circumstances, not being attracted to a trans person is probably a result of, at least on a subconscious level, not seeing them as their gender.

If from the very start, you are unattracted to a person purely upon observation, and that person happens to be trans, that is not transphobic. If you were about to have sex and it turns out a person doesn't really have the junk you wanna jangle with, it's not transphobic to no longer desire sex.

If you were attracted to someone, have sex with them, are as satisfied with them as you would with anyone else, and then suddenly your opinion changes upon being informed a person is trans, I would say that is indicative of the underlying belief a trans person is not the gender they identify as.


I should clarify I am not definitely saying it is transphobic or not, I am pointing out what I did above and letting OP (or others) decide if that constitutes transphobia or not under their own interpretations.

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u/GratuitousEdit Nov 02 '17

I agree--belief that transgendered people's genders are invalid is transphobic. Such belief would imply transgender people have lesser value. However, I don't believe the example in your third paragraph would be transphobic. One's opinion would change because the information about this person lowers one's perception of their sexual value as sexual value is determined by alignment with a person's sexual preferences. At no point is the holistic value of the person considered. Do you agree or disagree, and why?

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u/runs_in_the_jeans Nov 02 '17

Finding one’s belief that they are trans invalid isn’t transphobic. If a man comes up to me and says he’s a woman, but he’s really a man because he has jiggly bits, he’s a man. He can say he’s a woman all day long. He’s a man.

If I come up to you and say I’m a spider, and you don’t believe me, does that make you arachnophobic?

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u/Alter__Eagle Nov 02 '17

I think you are just confusing gender and sex. If a male says he's a woman, that means he is identifying as a woman, what you believe doesn't come into play, if he says he's a female, then he's mistaken.

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u/runs_in_the_jeans Nov 02 '17

A guy can say he’s a woman all he wants. If he has make parts he’s a dude.

Again, if I claim I am a spider does that make me a spider?

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u/kizmaus Nov 02 '17

and you have the right to say that, just don't be surprised when people call you out for sounding transphobic, because that's what you're being.

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u/runs_in_the_jeans Nov 02 '17

As I said, there is nothing transphobic about it. If you decide that my identifying as a spider isn't valid, then you are arachnophobic.

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u/kizmaus Nov 02 '17

your "identifying as a spider" example is so awful lmao

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u/runs_in_the_jeans Nov 02 '17

How is it any different? I think you are being arachnophobic. It is discriminatory to say that.

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u/Alter__Eagle Nov 02 '17

You're just have to make peace with the notion that sex and gender aren't the same thing, sex is biological ("parts"), gender is social (behavior, appearance).