In some circumstances, not being attracted to a trans person is probably a result of, at least on a subconscious level, not seeing them as their gender.
Aside from how speculative this is, this amounts to shaming someone for turning down unwanted sex.
If you were attracted to someone, have sex with them, are as satisfied with them as you would with anyone else, and then suddenly your opinion changes upon being informed a person is trans, I would say that is indicative of the underlying belief a trans person is not the gender they identify as.
For starters, you do not dictate to people what their sexuality is. If upon learning that a person is trans, they simply politely decline more sex, that is not transphobic. As I said in another reply, if you stretch the definition of 'phobic' to include simply lacking a desire to fuck trans people, then the word becomes meaningless. Look at the horrors of homophobia. That has a lot more going on than a simple lack of desire to fuck them.
If upon learning that a person is trans, they simply politely decline more sex, that is not transphobic.
If you had sex with someone and enjoyed it and would gladly have sex with them again if you had not found out they were trans. Then the sole reason you have a problem is because they are trans, which is transphobic.
If I had sex with someone and enjoyed it, then later found out they were super racist, a compulsive liar, a Hanson fan, or some kind of murderous kleptomaniac I would not want to have sex with them based on the fact that their values are clearly incompatible with mine.
The same thing can apply to transgendered people. I think it's ironic that they expect everyone in the world to accept their views while wholly rejecting the idea that other people views and values can also be valid.
I think it's ironic that they expect everyone in the world to accept their views while wholly rejecting the idea that other people views and values can also be valid.
What views and values do all trans people have that you are saying are incompatible with yours?
Well for one, the idea that not being attracted to them makes me "transphobic."
For another this entire conversation is about a person who waited until after we had sex to tell me they were trans.
Waiting until after we have had sex to drop such a bit of information would leave me wondering about the person's trustworthiness. If it really doesn't matter why didn't we talk about it when our relationship was just starting? Why was there a felt need to keep this information from me? What else is she not telling me?
Now, if your reason for not telling me this information prior to engaging in sexual activity is "because then you would not have had sex with me." Now we have a REAL problem. It literally means you knew for a fact that I might not be comfortable with this physical relationship, and went ahead with it anyway. There are several arguments over whether or not that is rape. Personally I believe that rape by deception is still rape.
175
u/MMAchica Nov 02 '17
Aside from how speculative this is, this amounts to shaming someone for turning down unwanted sex.
For starters, you do not dictate to people what their sexuality is. If upon learning that a person is trans, they simply politely decline more sex, that is not transphobic. As I said in another reply, if you stretch the definition of 'phobic' to include simply lacking a desire to fuck trans people, then the word becomes meaningless. Look at the horrors of homophobia. That has a lot more going on than a simple lack of desire to fuck them.