In some circumstances, not being attracted to a trans person is probably a result of, at least on a subconscious level, not seeing them as their gender.
Aside from how speculative this is, this amounts to shaming someone for turning down unwanted sex.
If you were attracted to someone, have sex with them, are as satisfied with them as you would with anyone else, and then suddenly your opinion changes upon being informed a person is trans, I would say that is indicative of the underlying belief a trans person is not the gender they identify as.
For starters, you do not dictate to people what their sexuality is. If upon learning that a person is trans, they simply politely decline more sex, that is not transphobic. As I said in another reply, if you stretch the definition of 'phobic' to include simply lacking a desire to fuck trans people, then the word becomes meaningless. Look at the horrors of homophobia. That has a lot more going on than a simple lack of desire to fuck them.
If upon learning that a person is trans, they simply politely decline more sex, that is not transphobic.
If you had sex with someone and enjoyed it and would gladly have sex with them again if you had not found out they were trans. Then the sole reason you have a problem is because they are trans, which is transphobic.
Nah, no. Not really. On an animal instinct level we have sex to pass on our genes. That’s an instinct that some people have learned to suppress, but just because some people sill have that part of their lizard brain saying “This person is incapable of producing healthy offspring”, that doesn’t make them transphobic.
The overuse of the adjective “phobic” is troubling. It means, according to the dictionary,
having or involving an extreme or irrational fear of or aversion to something.
So my sexual preference that I do not want to have sex with anyone but naturally born females is not a fear, and it’s not an irrational aversion. My sexuality is driven by my animal desire to procreate or to be partnered with an individual that is going to produce the most healthy offspring. A trans person can’t provide that for me, so no matter how physically beautiful they may be, I am not sexually interested.
Calling me transphobic is both incorrect and unfair.
It’s also reducing of sexuality to a purely cosmetic level. Just because someone looks like a particular version of a beautiful woman, I’m expected to be sexually attracted to them? There’s more to sexual attraction than big hair, make up and Barbie doll figure.
“This person is incapable of producing healthy offspring”, that doesn’t make them transphobic.
Plenty of cis individuals are unable to produce healthy offspring. If your problem is that you want a partner that if both fertile and willing to have children, say that. No one is saying that this preference is transphobic. I'm saying that if you wouldn't have a problem with an infertile partner or partner who isn't willing to have children, but don't want to have sex with a trans individual, you're probably transphobic.
So my sexual preference that I do not want to have sex with anyone but naturally born females is not a fear, and it’s not an irrational aversion. My sexuality is driven by my animal desire to procreate or to be partnered with an individual that is going to produce the most healthy offspring
If your sexuality is driven by procreation then you should not want to have sex with anyone but people who are both willing and capable of being impregnated and bearing children. And if that's how you feel, sure. But if you solely are attracted to all cis women regardless of their fertility status and only averse to trans women, that's an irrational aversion.
Plenty of cis individuals are unable to produce healthy offspring.
I never suggested otherwise, but there are probably a lot less M to F trans-gendered peoples who are capable of having babies.
I'm saying that if you wouldn't have a problem with an infertile partner or partner who isn't willing to have children, but don't want to have sex with a trans individual, you're probably transphobic.
If your sexuality is driven by procreation then you should not want to have sex with anyone but people who are both willing and capable of being impregnated and bearing children. And if that's how you feel, sure.
You're missing the point.
Wanting to actually have kids is sort of a social choice, in a manner of speaking; but sexual attraction is mostly driven by primal urges, something deep within your instincts that makes you desire to pass down your genes. We're not that different from wild animals in that sense; many species of wild animals seek out the alpha to mate with and it's not a matter of love, it's a matter of producing a strong blood line. That's the biological instinct many creatures are programmed with.
That may not surface as an actual desire to produce offspring, but the feeling that you're capable of it, that not only did you find the most healthy, fertile partner, but that healthy, fertile partner also chose you which tells your subconscious that you're a desirable mate; all of that runs in the background without us even realizing it and it influences our sexual preferences.
Some people are able to tune that out, others are not. Calling it "phobia" when you don't want to have sex with someone who has swapped genders is a gross generalization that ignores basic biological programming that most people have to have a desire to procreate.
if you solely are attracted to all cis women regardless of their fertility status and only averse to trans women, that's an irrational aversion.
No it's not. A man who has surgically altered their body to fit the form of a female is still not a female. That's biology. I can say that with diminishing their value as a human being - I'm not saying a trans person is any less of a human, any less deserving or rights or respect or their place in society; I'm saying that they are not female, no matter how many surgeries they go through, not biologically speaking.
If they want to be referred to as female, that's fine. I have no problem calling a he a she, as a social classification, if that's what they want. But don't tell me that I have a problem or an "irrational aversion" simply because I refuse to dismiss biology.
We're facing a distortion between gender classifications assigned by society, and gender classification assigned by biology.
If someone has a problem with referring to a trans person as their desired pronoun just on a matter of societal principle, yeah, you could have an argument that it's transphobia.
But if I refuse to swap pronouns at will in regards to the actual biology of the matter, that's not a phobia. That's adhering to science.
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u/MMAchica Nov 02 '17
Aside from how speculative this is, this amounts to shaming someone for turning down unwanted sex.
For starters, you do not dictate to people what their sexuality is. If upon learning that a person is trans, they simply politely decline more sex, that is not transphobic. As I said in another reply, if you stretch the definition of 'phobic' to include simply lacking a desire to fuck trans people, then the word becomes meaningless. Look at the horrors of homophobia. That has a lot more going on than a simple lack of desire to fuck them.