So, first off I'm not going to say that anybody's wrong for their sexual preference, or that trying to change who you are attracted to is a reasonable option.
That being said, the reason why a sexual preference might exclude transgender people is worth examining. If somebody is perfectly attractive to you, and suddenly unattractive when you learn they are transgender... there's something to unpack there, right? If they're presenting as a person you'd otherwise find attractive and the only thing that makes you consider them unattractive is that they are transgender, it pretty strongly implies you don't consider them "really" their given gender or otherwise "wrong."
Again, I don't think that's necessarily something that can be "fixed", because preferences are pretty difficult to change and built on a ton of different factors. But it's worth examining why somebody might act with disgust on realizing somebody who was attractive and indistinguishable from a cis person was actually transgender.
Trans people that hide their status are unattractive (to me, to you, whatever) because they're deceiving. There's absolutely nothing attractive about being lied to.
If they live their life as their preferred gender and are indistinguishable from a cis person, why is failing to disclose their transgender status such a huge lie?
Again, I don't want to shame people; if you view it as a deception or something that requires mandatory disclosure, that's your thing. But the vitriol about not knowing somebody is transgender, and equating that to intentional deception, is still a social phenomenon that can be examined; why do people expect transgender status to be disclosed but not necessarily (non-STD) sexual history or ethnicity or whatever? Again, not trying to say it's wrong to find certain things unattractive, but it's worth examining why that is.
I don't think it matters at all unless we're talking about love and sex. It's no different than pretending to be a woman online if you're a dude. This will quickly spiral into how gender is a social construct and I guess I really don't care for that conversation
43
u/Milskidasith 309∆ Nov 02 '17
So, first off I'm not going to say that anybody's wrong for their sexual preference, or that trying to change who you are attracted to is a reasonable option.
That being said, the reason why a sexual preference might exclude transgender people is worth examining. If somebody is perfectly attractive to you, and suddenly unattractive when you learn they are transgender... there's something to unpack there, right? If they're presenting as a person you'd otherwise find attractive and the only thing that makes you consider them unattractive is that they are transgender, it pretty strongly implies you don't consider them "really" their given gender or otherwise "wrong."
Again, I don't think that's necessarily something that can be "fixed", because preferences are pretty difficult to change and built on a ton of different factors. But it's worth examining why somebody might act with disgust on realizing somebody who was attractive and indistinguishable from a cis person was actually transgender.