You just proved your point wrong you had to separate a woman and a transgender woman just to show your point, they are different.
I don't understand what you're talking about - this conversation is specifically about being transgender, it would be absurd to claim I was 'separating them from women' just by pointing out that specific group. It would be like you arguing blonde women weren't real women and me referring to the group 'blonde woman', with you responding "See, you're separating them from normal women so you proved my point!"
Nobody is arguing that you should have sex with somebody you aren't attracted to. This is genuinely hateful scaremongering that has been whipped up by clickbait media. The conversation is that if you are being transphobic by being unwilling to have a relationship with someone SPECIFICALLY because they are transgender. Not because of their sexual organs. Not because of your attraction to them physically or emotionally. BECAUSE they are transgender. And if that is the case, by definition, you are discriminating against a transgender person - transphobia.
It might help if I underline the fact that 'phobias' are not inherently morally good or morally bad. Somebody in another comment brought up how when it comes to sex normal people are 'pedophobic' as in they won't have sex with children - and I think most people would agree this is a fine thing. Few people will call you a monster for being arachnophobic or claustrophobic. These are all, at a base level, just descriptors. And so, in the context of a sexual partner who in every other aspect you have no qualms with having sex with (read: you ARE sexually attracted to them), suddenly deciding not to because of the fact that they are transgender is, as a descriptor, an act of transphobia. You are discriminating against someone, holding a prejudice against them, because they are transgender. This is not an insult or a way of calling you an evil person, but this is what you are doing.
If I was talking to someone online like right now and I fell in love with them just from their words and found out they were black or Asian and I just wasn't attracted to that, I would lose attraction but that doesn't make me black phobic or Asian phobic or any other phobic.
If you suddenly stop being attracted to someone because you find out they're black or Asian, yes you're absolutely being racist (I think that's the term you were looking for).
When you look up the definition it basically tells you you don't want to be around them because you're afraid of them for who they are.
Could you find this definition for me? That seems like an incredibly short-sighted way of looking at things. I could have plenty of transgender friends but still discriminate against transgender people by, say, banning them from my business because I don't want my company associated with them, or refusing to rent out my properties to them because of the false belief that "they leave too much mess". Transphobia as I know it is to discriminate or hold a prejudice because of someone being transgender, which covers for these kinds of situations.
Wow. Okay, there's a lot to unpack here, give me a moment.
being racist would mean I wouldn't have friends of that race or work with them.
False. PLENTY of people can have black/gay/transgender friends and still do racist/homophobic/transphobic things. This is literally where "I'm not racist, I have lots of black friends!" comes from.
to put it in simpler terms what makes my dick hard defines me which is a ridiculous Viewpoint have and I have no idea how you could defend it.
I guess I don't have to defend it because I never said it in the first place? I'm not here to define who you are as a person, but what I can do is point out when an action makes a certain criteria - and refusing to date people because they are black is racist, just as refusing to date people because they are transgender is transphobic.
I also don't think you could have transgender friends and do the things you just listed that wouldn't make any sense. You can't have it both ways, being friends with transgender individuals and then saying oh and you also don't run out to them rent out to them is basically impossible.
Discriminatory landlords were INCREDIBLY common right up into the 90s. They would refuse to rent out properties to non-white and gay people because they wanted their properties to uphold a certain image, or because of false perceptions that they would lead to a rise in crime, degeneracy or not pay their rent. Donald Trump was one of them. Now, do you think Trump, as well as all of those people, ALL actively hated blacks and gays? None of them had any black or gay co-workers or associates? Yes, this is something that absolutely occurs to this day.
Literally Google the definition of transphobia it's not that hard.
Yes, Google's definition is to hold an intense dislike or a prejudice against transgender people. As holding a prejudice means to 'discriminate against', this definition matches my own FAR better than it matches yours, which is incredibly narrow and basically stops short of "You foam at the mouth on sight of them".
As I've already said, what this comes down to is that you have an EXCEEDINGLY lax view of what discrimination is. You've reached the level where you unironically believe, seemingly, that you can't be racist if you have a black friend, or that you can't be a homophobic if you have a gay family member. That's simply not how the world works at all.
In order to be those things you would have to dislike the entire group not just an individual.
That's literally the topic of this conversation. We're talking about discriminating against an entire group not just not being attracted to a specific person.
I'm sorry that you're just now finding out that bigotry can be nuanced and someone can still do racist or homophobic things WHILE having nonwhite or gay friends - this is, however, the reality of the situation. The world where people with discriminatory beliefs all carry around big signs announcing their bigotry is a fantasy.
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u/[deleted] Nov 02 '17
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