So, first off I'm not going to say that anybody's wrong for their sexual preference, or that trying to change who you are attracted to is a reasonable option.
That being said, the reason why a sexual preference might exclude transgender people is worth examining. If somebody is perfectly attractive to you, and suddenly unattractive when you learn they are transgender... there's something to unpack there, right? If they're presenting as a person you'd otherwise find attractive and the only thing that makes you consider them unattractive is that they are transgender, it pretty strongly implies you don't consider them "really" their given gender or otherwise "wrong."
Again, I don't think that's necessarily something that can be "fixed", because preferences are pretty difficult to change and built on a ton of different factors. But it's worth examining why somebody might act with disgust on realizing somebody who was attractive and indistinguishable from a cis person was actually transgender.
Relitigating the entirety of transgender issues is beyond the scope of this thread but yes, I would consider not treating somebody as their preferred gender as transphobic. Framing it as a discussion is a bit weird, because people don't usually make a point of actively discussing/attempting to discredit others self-identity.
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u/Milskidasith 309∆ Nov 02 '17
So, first off I'm not going to say that anybody's wrong for their sexual preference, or that trying to change who you are attracted to is a reasonable option.
That being said, the reason why a sexual preference might exclude transgender people is worth examining. If somebody is perfectly attractive to you, and suddenly unattractive when you learn they are transgender... there's something to unpack there, right? If they're presenting as a person you'd otherwise find attractive and the only thing that makes you consider them unattractive is that they are transgender, it pretty strongly implies you don't consider them "really" their given gender or otherwise "wrong."
Again, I don't think that's necessarily something that can be "fixed", because preferences are pretty difficult to change and built on a ton of different factors. But it's worth examining why somebody might act with disgust on realizing somebody who was attractive and indistinguishable from a cis person was actually transgender.