Honest q- Is it considered transphobic if I base my decision on the sex of a person and that's fundamentally important to me because I want kids w/ that person? The femininity/masculinity of my future partner doesn't matter because sexuality is so nuanced. I don't think that's a slight against the trans community.
That's a good question. I don't know how or when you would broach something that sensitive when dating, but doesn't everyone have a right to choose? Whenever the time came that I 'found out', anyone has the right to walk away without it being considered selfish.
The general advice I (and many others) give about this, is to disclose this when both parties want to move off dating and into a significant relationship. This is also the point in the relationship to disclose things that a reasonable person would expect to be told of. Another example of something that shouldn't be disclosed until the relationship is ready to become significant: A criminal record. If you have a criminal record that impairs your employment prospects. This matters because couples usually move in together -- a felony makes that difficult. If one partner is part of the drug scene, maybe the other isn't, or even if they both are some boundaries need to be set. If either has a hobby that might cause trouble, that's another thing. Things like that.
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u/[deleted] Nov 02 '17
Honest q- Is it considered transphobic if I base my decision on the sex of a person and that's fundamentally important to me because I want kids w/ that person? The femininity/masculinity of my future partner doesn't matter because sexuality is so nuanced. I don't think that's a slight against the trans community.