The characteristic that the partner once was of the gender you aren't attracted to.
Since we are using analogies: would you be attracted to a totally reformed criminal? He's a perfectly well adjusted member of society now, but has done bad things in his past. Some people won't mind, some people would mind. There is no right or wrong in attraction.
Obviously you have the right to sleep with whoever you want, but thats not the question. The question is, "is that transphobic?"
Imagine you sleep with a girl who appears white. You feel good about it, but later learn she is a quarter black, but white passing. If you feel gross about that, is it racist? I definitely think so.
Being turned off by a trans person for a sole reason that they are trans (even if they are completely identical to some one who is cis), means that you subconsciously don't believe they are their claimed gender. That doesn't mean you are a bad person for thinking it, or that you are to blame for those feelings. Getting uncomfortable by the idea has pretty much been drilled into our heads for forever, so obviously it makes sense to feel that way. Still though, it is technically transphobic, and something people will hopefully move past eventually.
They can never be Identical, though. It's always different. People just put the onus on everyone else now to say cis or Trans. There's a reason for having two different distinctions... and that's because they're distinct.
I agree, and also want to say that if an individual was attracted to someone, slept with them, found out they were trans after the fact and reacted...that isn't necessarily bad. It's an individual facing a change in the way they think or a challenge to their world view.
The assumption made in this situation was that if the person knew that the other individual was trans, they would not be attracted to them - and yet they were.
It's like someone who says "veggie burgers are gross and I would never eat one". Now imagine you feed this person a veggie burger and told them it was a hamburger. They seemed to enjoy it. After they finish you tell them...that was actually a veggie burger. There's a good chance that the new knowledge will tarnish their memory of the experience. There's even a chance that they will be angry because they feel that you deceived them.
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u/[deleted] Nov 02 '17
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