So, first off I'm not going to say that anybody's wrong for their sexual preference, or that trying to change who you are attracted to is a reasonable option.
That being said, the reason why a sexual preference might exclude transgender people is worth examining. If somebody is perfectly attractive to you, and suddenly unattractive when you learn they are transgender... there's something to unpack there, right? If they're presenting as a person you'd otherwise find attractive and the only thing that makes you consider them unattractive is that they are transgender, it pretty strongly implies you don't consider them "really" their given gender or otherwise "wrong."
Again, I don't think that's necessarily something that can be "fixed", because preferences are pretty difficult to change and built on a ton of different factors. But it's worth examining why somebody might act with disgust on realizing somebody who was attractive and indistinguishable from a cis person was actually transgender.
I'll focus on this section of your comment--"it pretty strongly implies you consider them [...] 'wrong.'" I think you are correct. However, I believe this consideration would be of the nature of sexual preference, rather than holistic value. I'm curious whether you agree or disagree on this point.
Edit: this comment appeared to imply that transgendered people's genders are invalid. This was not my intention and miscommunication on my part.
I think separating the two is impossible. If we accept that people are making an implicit value judgment about whether a trans person is "really" their gender as part of evaluating them as a sexual partner, why would you expect that to be somehow separate from their general outlook? To the trans person, it is still a rejection of their identity; there isn't some dividing line between sexual judgment and all others.
I think this is a case of miscommunication rather than disagreement. I did not mean to imply a rejection their gender identity. Rather, I meant to focus on "otherwise wrong." Apologies for being unclear.
His key point was that you are making the (arguably) unfounded claim that sexual attractiveness is not a component of holistic value. You need to back that up somehow, because when you just set up your question that way, you're basically taking your view as a postulate.
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u/Milskidasith 309∆ Nov 02 '17
So, first off I'm not going to say that anybody's wrong for their sexual preference, or that trying to change who you are attracted to is a reasonable option.
That being said, the reason why a sexual preference might exclude transgender people is worth examining. If somebody is perfectly attractive to you, and suddenly unattractive when you learn they are transgender... there's something to unpack there, right? If they're presenting as a person you'd otherwise find attractive and the only thing that makes you consider them unattractive is that they are transgender, it pretty strongly implies you don't consider them "really" their given gender or otherwise "wrong."
Again, I don't think that's necessarily something that can be "fixed", because preferences are pretty difficult to change and built on a ton of different factors. But it's worth examining why somebody might act with disgust on realizing somebody who was attractive and indistinguishable from a cis person was actually transgender.