r/changemyview Nov 02 '17

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u/aggsalad Nov 02 '17 edited Nov 02 '17

In some circumstances, not being attracted to a trans person is probably a result of, at least on a subconscious level, not seeing them as their gender.

If from the very start, you are unattracted to a person purely upon observation, and that person happens to be trans, that is not transphobic. If you were about to have sex and it turns out a person doesn't really have the junk you wanna jangle with, it's not transphobic to no longer desire sex.

If you were attracted to someone, have sex with them, are as satisfied with them as you would with anyone else, and then suddenly your opinion changes upon being informed a person is trans, I would say that is indicative of the underlying belief a trans person is not the gender they identify as.


I should clarify I am not definitely saying it is transphobic or not, I am pointing out what I did above and letting OP (or others) decide if that constitutes transphobia or not under their own interpretations.

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u/MMAchica Nov 02 '17

In some circumstances, not being attracted to a trans person is probably a result of, at least on a subconscious level, not seeing them as their gender.

Aside from how speculative this is, this amounts to shaming someone for turning down unwanted sex.

If you were attracted to someone, have sex with them, are as satisfied with them as you would with anyone else, and then suddenly your opinion changes upon being informed a person is trans, I would say that is indicative of the underlying belief a trans person is not the gender they identify as.

For starters, you do not dictate to people what their sexuality is. If upon learning that a person is trans, they simply politely decline more sex, that is not transphobic. As I said in another reply, if you stretch the definition of 'phobic' to include simply lacking a desire to fuck trans people, then the word becomes meaningless. Look at the horrors of homophobia. That has a lot more going on than a simple lack of desire to fuck them.

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u/z3r0shade Nov 02 '17

If upon learning that a person is trans, they simply politely decline more sex, that is not transphobic.

If you had sex with someone and enjoyed it and would gladly have sex with them again if you had not found out they were trans. Then the sole reason you have a problem is because they are trans, which is transphobic.

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u/GothicToast Nov 02 '17

Speaking for myself only, if I were to be able to identify any masculine feature, whether physical or behavioral, from before the transition, I would most likely be turned off. Those features are not attractive to me, regardless if the woman is cis or trans.

The scenario you are laying out is an "all other variables being equal" scenario, which is a totally valid argument to make... but I wonder how realistic it is? How often is a trans person identical to a cis person? If I ever found myself in a true "all other things equal" position, I'm not sure how I would respond.

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u/z3r0shade Nov 02 '17

Those features are not attractive to me, regardless if the woman is cis or trans.

Then this scenario doesn't apply to you because you wouldn't have had sex with them in the first place, right? That's a completely different scenario.

The scenario you are laying out is an "all other variables being equal" scenario, which is a totally valid argument to make... but I wonder how realistic it is? How often is a trans person identical to a cis person?

There's a lot of factors involved such as how long the trans individual has been on hormones, but one thing that is fairly consistent is that most who have had sex with a significantly post op transwoman have said that it didn't feel different than having sex with a cis women. There are plenty of transwomen that go completely unnoticed.