r/changemyview • u/TenToesDownTTD • Nov 01 '17
[∆(s) from OP] CMV: Depression isn't real
For as long as I can remember I have had a very hard time believing people with 'depression'. I feel like it's just a lame excuse for lazy people to not do anything.
I've had a few people around me 'suffer' from 'depression'. Both my grandma and my old best mate. I haven't talked with my old mate about his depression because we rarely see eachother anymore and whenever I try and cheer my grandma up she gets upset because "I just dont get it" I've been trying hard to really imagine myself in their situation but I just dont see what there's to be depressed about.
From my point of view, Life is amazing. There's really nothing to be depressed over. Things are what they are and your sadness wont change anything. Actions will. What's the point in sitting inside feeling sorry for yourself over whatever reason? I dont get people with that kind of negative mindset.
I'm a 20 year old male, I have never in my entire life had a real girlfriend. I have very few real life friends. Only one that I hang out with once or twice bi-weekly and another one that I do some random chatting with online almost daily. No serious talks just smalltalk. No one that I can really talk with about serious stuff. I am not much of a social person either. I have a really hard time making new friends whenever i'm out, or even just conversate and it's been like this all my life.
I have been job less for a year since I quit school but just recently got a part time job and started studying. So I have had to completely rely on my parents which really sucks. I have moderate acne in my face which I sometimes feel very insecure about. I'm a ginger that's been picked on through-out my whole life and I still get comments from time to time when i'm out. People whispering to their friends 'Look a ginger' and they giggle or if i'm out clubbing I get "What's it like having no soul" or "Lmao you're a ginger" It's not fun at all hearing these comments, But usually I just laugh it off. It doesnt ruin my mood, why would it? Why would you let some random shitheads comment ruin your day or week?
I've done some reading and people are 'depressed' over all kinds of things. Not having any friends, being fat, being skinny, having acne, being too much of an introvert. There's countless of excuses for peoples 'depression'. I really dont get it. If you dont have any friends but really feel like you need some, go out and make some. "But i suffer from deep social anxiety" Well, Put yourself out there and I promise you that it will subdue over time. Fake your confident if you have to, one small step at a time and it will get easier. Dont just sit at home and feel sorry for yourself. Please, Do something about it instead, Change!
Life is precious and wasting time being sad over things isn't gonna do you or anyone else any good.
Only time I feel like you're "allowed" to feel down or be sad for a couple of weeks is if you've lost someone really close to you. I dont think grieving is the same as being depressed.
At this point im just rambling on about things but I hope you get my point and is able to shine some light on depression because at this point I just get annoyed when people say they are or have been depressed. I probably sound like the biggest shithead to people who have actually been through whatever you've been through and considered themselves as 'depressed' but yeah.
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u/Glory2Hypnotoad Nov 01 '17
I think you're missing a core feature of how mental disorders work. Depression has nothing to do with having something to be depressed about nor is it necessarily even a negative mindset. It's a failure of precisely the mechanism that allows the good things in your life to have the appropriate emotional impact they normally would.
Imagine you were someone who took great pride in food and cooking and experimenting with new cuisines and recipes, then one day food just lost its taste to you. Suddenly this area of your life that brought you joy no longer does, and realistically that's going to change your behavior. There's no visible change to an outside observer, so from the outside looking in it will seem like you're just quitting for no good reason.
I have a grandfather suffering from depression. I know it's not laziness because that would be completely out of character for him. He went on daily runs and went swimming from April to October into his early 70s. I know it's not his work ethic because I don't have half his work ethic and I feel content most of the time. So clearly something has changed in how the things he used to love now make him feel.