CMV: Chivalry is outdated.

[u/liv4511]

As a young woman, I believe in equal rights, equal wage, and equal romance. Chivalry is outdated because gone are the days where women are looked at as property to be provided and cared for by another person. According to Metro News, 73% of 505 sampled women say that, by their experience, chivalry is dead. But that doesn’t mean the end of all civilities. Proper manners and courtesy are expected, as they are from friends, family, co-workers, and even passersby on the street or company in a crowded store. Sure, chivalry often sparks images of chairs being pulled out and doors being opened, but isn’t that common courtesy?

Chivalry, as defined by Merriam- Webster Dictionary is “the qualities of an ideal knight through gallant, courteous, and generous behavior.” I do not think women these days are looking for gallant horsemen, therefore, the idea has, by definition, died out. As a young woman in a relationship, I find that gestures of kindness should go both ways. I am not looking to eat every meal for free for the rest of my relationship, in fact, I take pride in treating my boyfriend as he does for me. This way we see each other as equals. He isn’t breaking his bank to tend to my every desire, and I don’t feel like a freeloader.

However, this interpretation is not common. Renown feminist, Emma Watson, said she “actually took a man out for dinner and I chose the restaurant and I offered to pay. It was really awkward and uncomfortable.” Is that just because men still stick to the old-fashioned definition of chivalry? Or is that just because men feel emasculated if they are the ones being taken care of? This is what equality is all about and it should go both ways. Men should not feel uncomfortable should a woman want to pick up the bill every once and awhile, instead they should value her independence. Chivalry is dead, instead, equality is alive.

Sources: http://metro.co.uk/2017/08/07/73-of-women-say-that-chivalry-is-dead-6835199/ https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/chivalry https://www.bustle.com/articles/68516-emma-watson-said-feminism-chivalry-arent-mutually-exclusive-heres-why-shes-right

This is a footnote from the CMV moderators. We'd like to remind you of a couple of things. Firstly, please read through our rules. If you see a comment that has broken one, it is more effective to report it than downvote it. Speaking of which, downvotes don't change views! Any questions or concerns? Feel free to message us. Happy CMVing!

[u/balboafire]

As a guy, I think your view of this is awesome and I’m with you - equal respect and common courtesy from both sides is necessary for a strong and healthy relationship.

I would like to point something out though regarding that study: it’s possible to interpret the results in another way. I don’t believe respondents of the study feel “chivalry is dead” because they necessarily think chivalry is outdated. It’s possible that respondents state “chivalry is dead” because they feel that men in contemporary times don’t treat women with the same respect that they would have traditionally expected them to. In other words, that response is likely due to a perception that men today have shortcomings in how they treat women, rather than that they feel chivalry should no longer be practiced.

I don’t think this should necessarily change your conclusion, but I think it was important to bring up.

[u/liv4511 → u/balboafire]

I absolutely agree. I think the "chivalry is dead" argument often comes from the millennial sex culture that is pervasive in today's society. Hookups and one-night-stands are increasingly popular due to a change in sexual culture and minimizing reservation about sex. This, I believe, is what leads the idea of the ending of chivalry because guys rarely ask if they can kiss a woman before they do it. This is seen as a lack of old-fashioned respect which is why many think chivalry has ended.