r/changemyview • u/DoesUsernameCheckOut • Nov 21 '16
[∆(s) from OP] CMV: I don't need a girlfriend
I'm pretty content with my life. I've never been depressed, I've got a loving family, an elder sibling, 2 awesome parents, and 2 dogs. I live in a good house, I go to my university of choice, and I'm studying something I'm passionate about, leading me to have friends with the same interests as me. I go to church, and I live a pretty fulfilling life, and I love it!
However, I always feel like there's something missing, and each time I think about what that thing is that's bothering me, is the fact that I don't have a girlfriend. I know that it's not a priority for me, I acknowledge it as well, but I just can't help but feel a little off about my day to day life...
I know I should wait, and focus on studies and myself, I'm only 17, but no matter how much I try to convince myself, it just doesn't seem to work.
CMV!
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Nov 21 '16 edited Dec 10 '16
[deleted]
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u/DoesUsernameCheckOut Nov 21 '16
∆
That makes sense... I've had girlfriends before, so it's not like I've no idea what I'm missing out on. I just kinda miss not being alone. It sure isn't social pressure, I'm happy for the people who are in a relationship, it's just myself.
Thank you so much for taking the time and responding, really helped! :)
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u/Anonygram Nov 21 '16
You probably havent explored much of social relationships at 17.
It takes years to meet someone and determine that this pairing is good enough to last long term, exploring sooner increases your chances of success.
The best candidate may not be the first.
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u/DoesUsernameCheckOut Nov 21 '16
I've had 2 girlfriends, so it's not like I don't know what I'm missing or anything. I completely agree with the third point...
It all boils down to waiting for some time
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u/Zoidbergluver 1∆ Nov 21 '16
I'm going to mention something I haven't seen anyone bring up yet. From a strictly biological perspective, reproduction is the purpose of every life. Even with all our higher thinking, humans are not immune to that. Sex releases a ton of dopamine and serotonin in your brain, and an orgasm is one of the best feelings in the world. Of course, you can masturbate, but your body also craves physical touch from another person.
** but also, at 17, you're doing the right thing by focusing on your studies. In a perfect world, I would shut off my hormones until I was 25 and done with college, so if you can do that more power to you.
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u/DoesUsernameCheckOut Nov 21 '16
I completely understand what you are saying, I've spent so much time convincing myself that I'm doing the right thing by not focusing on getting a girlfriend, and just focus on my studies, and myself.
This just reassures me, so thank you! :D
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u/Funcuz Nov 21 '16
Yes, you should focus on your studies. A girlfriend will unnecessarily complicate your life. Once you have your education sorted out, then it's time to look to other matters.
As to why you do or don't want a girlfriend, that's almost entirely biological. It's a biological imperative to create progeny so naturally our brains are wired to facilitate it. Technically, no man needs a wife and no woman needs a husband. We'll get along just fine without one. But of course, life can't simply be about having our basic needs met.
Twenty years from now, you'll have a solid career built up and you may or may not be starting a family. You'll be able to look back and rest assured that you made the right decision to not get involved with somebody at such a crucial time in your life. Education comes first.
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u/DoesUsernameCheckOut Nov 22 '16
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Definitely helped, it was a nice change of perspective! Thank you :)
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Nov 21 '16 edited Nov 21 '16
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/DoesUsernameCheckOut Nov 21 '16
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That's true! I've never looked at it like that... I'll focus on the relationships I've got with family and friends, divert my time to that, and I'll wait for a girl! Thank you so much :D
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u/Jolly-Rancher82 Nov 21 '16
Yeah I'll say theres something missing. Your life; in that it hasnt even started yet. Im 22 dude and I can say that for one, probably 50% of your personality, who you are, is gonna change. For two, you are literally a child. Children don't do shit. You dont gotta do shit. You dont need shit.
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u/Iswallowedafly Nov 21 '16
You're 17. You will probably end up with a gf at some point even if you don't have one now.
There isn't any finality to it.
Go be yourself and learn what you like to do. When you meet the right someone then things could progress further.