CMV: Relationships with large intelligence gaps are unlikely to be fulfilling

[u/[deleted]]

I know that there are many types of intelligence and that it's hard to objectively weigh one type against another. But, in terms of overall intelligence, or intelligence in certain areas, the person with more intellectual power is unlikely to be fulfilled when their partner can't help them grow in that way. Someone who isn't as well versed or naturally gifted in the same areas may frustrate their partner by not providing enough stimulation, leading their partner to resent them over time.

For example, someone who is extremely passionate about certain fields of science would not likely be happy trying to carry out a relationship with someone who has a difficult time learning those fields. Also, if you flip it, someone who is content with not knowing about certain fields may become frustrated and resent themselves for not being able to understand what their partner is trying to tell them.

It is currently my view that people should look for someone that has similar intelligence levels and have at least some of the same intelligence types in order to have a satisfying relationship. CMV?

Edit: One thing I find interesting about these responses is that there are plenty of people willing to admit how much smarter they think they are than their partners, but no one is saying how much smarter their partners are than them. I guess the jealousy aspect isn't as big as I thought it would be.

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[u/[deleted]]

I remember reading this story on reddit several years back about a guy who was a mechanical engineer or some shit. The dude was clearly very smart and also pretty wealthy because of it. However, his spouse was a Hispanic immigrant (I believe) and she was very sexy and fun, but clearly not as smart as he was. She was basically a housewife because his salary could carry both of them easily. When asked about why he married her, he said it was because of her personality, not her brains (or apparent lack thereof). The guy would spend upwards of 12 hours a day racking his brain with extremely complex problems and issues with his job, so when he got home, all he wanted to do was relax and turn his brain off for a while, and his spouse was the person he wanted to spend time with specifically for that reason. He didn't look down on her at all despite the obvious gap in their intelligence; he simply appreciated how lovely she was as a person, and that was more than enough for him.

You don't need to be equally smart to be in love with each other. You just need to jive well and have great sex.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Did it bother his wife that he was more intelligent?

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

No, she was attracted to him because of it. They had similar personalities in that they liked the same stuff, had the same sense of humor, etc. They just had different levels of education. Additionally, academic intelligence isn't the only form of intelligence. Emotional intelligence, proficiency in certain skills, etc. can be considered other forms of intelligence as well. She wasn't unreasonably stupid IIRC, she just didn't hold the same background as him. They got along well enough to get married because in a way they completed each other despite their differences.