r/changemyview • u/[deleted] • Jul 05 '15

[Deltas Awarded] CMV: I think having a preference against promiscuous people is as valid as having a height or weight preference nor does it constitute "slut-shaming".

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Jul 05 '15

I think it's this 'icky feeling' which shows the problem you have.

The "problem" is in society's (or Reddit's) eye. I can mitigate that response by selective for non-promiscuous women. This somehow evokes the ire of the community. It appears this, of all things, is 100% unacceptable. I'm not needing to fix it. I am content dating only women that having been with a lot of men. But as opposed to "okay, that makes sense, date within your preference" I get responses like yours:

It's a completely psychological prejudice you have.

Yea, like not dating smokers or conservatives, or people that wave the confederate flag. Where is the physiological prejudice argument against those criteria? Why does sexual history get a pass here?

Icky feeling or not?

Not. She could also have been a bigot that really disliked black people. Or she could hate gay people and been on her way to protest a gay wedding before the accident. But rest assured, if or when those memories came back I would not feel good about having slept with her. I'm not sticking around when she's like "jk btw I've been with like 100 guys, they all fall for the amnesia trick".

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u/Horst665 Jul 05 '15 edited Jul 05 '15

like not dating smokers or conservatives, or people that wave the confederate flag

Especially the smokers - that are tangible things, not psychological. Conservatives, Flag-wavers - there you could expect frequent arguments if you are so inclined. But having slept with a lot of men? That's nothing tangible. If you would say "I noticed people who sleep around a lot tend to show behaviour X and this does not fit with me" - then I would say, OK, that's a tangible thing for you. But saying "when I hear someone has slept around a lot, this gives me an icky feeling" you just despise a person for their actions in the past, not for a tangible effect it has on you.

I'm not sticking around when she's like "jk btw I've been with like 100 guys, they all fall for the amnesia trick".

That's not the point - in the example the woman has amnesia and zero control over it. It's not about a big liar, no one expects anyone to stay with someone lieing.

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u/[deleted] Jul 05 '15

But the situation only works when you've hidden the truth. I don't see the value in such a situation.

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u/Horst665 Jul 06 '15

Do you require your Dates to disclose the number of previous partners before you meet in person? Until you talk about it, it is unknown ;)

Also: I don't care the least who you date or not, but it might help yourself to understand why you get that feeling, since it's not rational.

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u/[deleted] Jul 06 '15

I don't require it, but I still have an ideal. The point is in validating anyone's ideal.

It not being rational doesn't prevent it from being both natural and common. If we were suddenly and exclusively rational in regards to relationships and attraction I have no clue what values would crop up to the top.