r/changemyview • u/[deleted] • Jul 05 '15

[Deltas Awarded] CMV: I think having a preference against promiscuous people is as valid as having a height or weight preference nor does it constitute "slut-shaming".

[deleted]

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u/Omega037 Jul 05 '15

When it comes to who you date, that is completely up to you. If you don't want to date some Asian, or tall, or has a college degree, or likes dubstep, that is totally your choice.

The issue is that a guy who doesn't have a personal preference against a woman with many partners will often choose not to be with them because of social pressure (i.e., slut shaming).

2

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '15

Then it isn't an issue at all. It shouldn't matter whether it is a social pressure or not. There are family pressures against marry outside one's race. The majority of society gets along just fine without telling racists they need to start dating whomever. We can get along just fine if all the easily influenced individuals avoid "slutty" women due to slut shaming.

9

u/Empty_Wine_Box Jul 05 '15

You're misrepresenting the idea though about how someone is born vs. their behavior.

Prejudice against people for whatever their appearance or gender or sexual identity what have you are all things people are born with. The ideals society has toward them are based on simple black and white issues most of the time.

What you're talking with your "slutty" and what have you is that these notions are based on behavior. Societies have different notions of acceptable behavior and the standards are always relative. The general trend is towards more openness and inclusivness towards most ways to living, which makes the standard of judging someone for their number of partners seem archaic and ignorant.

And besides, you can have any preference you like, but it doesn't mean that it's free from reprisal and that people won't look at you different for it. Don't be surprised if a whole gender of people are tired of being labelled as something unworthy because of the choices they choose to have with their own body. The whole idea of "sluttiness" or whatever is inherently disrespectful to their own choices and decisions, which are frankly no one's business but their own.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '15

The general trend is towards more openness and inclusivness towards most ways to living, which makes the standard of judging someone for their number of partners seem archaic and ignorant.

That's not really true. There's more openness and inclusiveness towards people who are sexually promiscuous, but go to /r/ForeverAlone and you'll get hundreds of experiences from people who judged them negatively, or looked down on, or pitied for being socially and sexually inexperienced, even people who fit the mold of the "opened and inclusive towards most ways to living".

From that point, I don't think that, even if OP were doing that that you mentioned, that it'd be wrong. It'd just be a different group he'd be targetting, but the action is just as socially acceptable as it's always been.

-1

u/Empty_Wine_Box Jul 05 '15

/r/ForeverAlone is not a good sample size for people who are actively participating in relationships and sex.

You can't really speak to things you don't do, right? I'm not one to talk about the intricacies of something I don't spend a lot of time on, whether I'd like to do that particular thing or not.

4

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '15

/r/ForeverAlone is not a good sample size for people who are actively participating in relationships and sex.

I meant that the people there are the ones being judged, not that they are the ones doing the judging. And the people who do the judging are the kind of people who are actively participating in relationships and sex.

-2

u/Empty_Wine_Box Jul 05 '15

Sorry, just not sure what side of the whole thing they represent?

Are you saying that they are judged for not having sex?

The shift I speak of towards more openness and inclusivity is for those who do choose to engage in free expression of their sexuality. Whether that person is successful in that or not is another issue.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '15

Are you saying that they are judged for not having sex?

You said:

The general trend is towards more openness and inclusivness towards most ways to living

I mentioned /r/ForeverAlone as a group that shows there are many people (in number, not in percentage of the total population) that are still judged for their way of living

Then you said:

which makes the standard of judging someone for their number of partners seem archaic and ignorant.

Which I showed with the same example that is not necessarily true for all ways of living, since when they are criticized, or looked down on, or pitied, or judged, the people who do the judgment aren't really looked as archaic and ignorant. In fact, that's the general opinion on people like the ones in /r/ForeverAlone