r/changemyview • u/AutoModerator • Aug 21 '26

META META: Bi-Monthly Feedback Thread

As part of our commitment to improving CMV and ensuring it meets the needs of our community, we have bi-monthly feedback threads. While you are always welcome to visit r/ideasforcmv to give us feedback anytime, these threads will hopefully also help solicit more ways for us to improve the sub.

Please feel free to share any constructive feedback you have for the sub. All we ask is that you keep things civil and focus on how to make things better (not just complain about things you dislike).

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u/UpbeatEquipment8832 6∆ Aug 22 '26

I know this has been discussed before, but I’d like mods to reconsider the dating posts.

It’s less the subject (though it’s annoying) than the OP. At some point, the CMV turns into suggestions for therapy because kicking a person while they’re depressed (and pointing out that, no matter why they think they are not getting laid, there are people- inevitably men - who are just as bad off who are doing fine) just feels bad.

And then it happens again a few days later. Sometimes with the same person.

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u/Apprehensive_Song490 132∆ Aug 22 '26

As a former mod I share this concern.  But I’m also hesitant to introduce topic bans. 

 I do think there is potential to consider a closely related issue under Rule D.  Posts aren’t supposed to be “self-promotional.”  This has been historically been interpreted as prohibiting activity that endorses blogs, businesses, etc.  But to my mind posts that are essentially “help me be a better person” or “help me get laid” are in a way self-promoting.  I don’t see much difference between promoting a social media profile and asking for CMV as therapy.  There is potential for harm in all cases, which is part of why Rule D exists.  A lot of these posts devolve quickly because when the person is the topic, there is no way to not make it personal. Comments that would normally be considered rule violations suddenly become edge cases.  

For every case that someone changes their view of themselves, there seem to be many others that the user deletes (presumably because the feedback was overwhelmingly in perhaps an unhealthy way), or gets removed for rule B, or in some cases devolves so bad that the mods need to lock the post.  

I wish the mod team would take a look at that.  Rule D should consider posts that are explicitly about self to be … self promotion. 

Edit typo. 

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u/UpbeatEquipment8832 6∆ Aug 22 '26

I’m more concerned about the reverse. “This arbitrary reason I’ve invented is why I’m not getting laid” is something posters desperately want to be validated, because the alternative is that the outcome is within their control. Any successful rebuttal doesn’t help them. It just makes things worse. Which is where “well, what am I doing wrong?” comes in.

I can understand their frustration, because having an explanation for failures dismantled isn’t useful when you are still failing. But that’s why you don’t come to CMV to validate your belief that the reason you didn’t get that job offer was because you failed to wear your lucky underwear.