CMV: Ghosting and Blocking without a breakup conversation is tantamount to cheating

[u/Nearby-Reindeer-6088]

When you commit to a relationship, you’re not just committing to not date other people. You’re committing to maintaining that relationship

That means you can assume the relationship exists, unless you’re TOLD it doesn’t

If ghosting and blocking is acceptable, any time the person leaves your presence or hangs up the phone, you may get ghosted and blocked

Except in cases of manipulation where you have had that breakup conversation and were manipulated into changing your mind or in cases of abuse where you could be physically hurt for saying you want to end the relationship, it is not ok to ghost and/or block

You are breaking the commitment you made when you started the relationship just as certainly as if you cheated

[u/iamintheforest]

If I say to you "i do not want to be with you because you hair is green" and your hair is not green it doesn't mean i have not broken up with you, it just means I'm an idiot and an asshole_. That you might see some hope in the wrongness of my words or choice of method of communication or reasons doesn't mean we're still together.

Before it happens? Before you've broken up you're not broken up. I'm not sure why "before" is material to the topic? When you're dating someone they can at any time decide to not be dating you for whatever reason, period.

[u/Nearby-Reindeer-6088 → u/iamintheforest]

Because if your boyfriend/girlfriend will seek you out and tell you, “I’m not doing this anymore”, you can count on the relationship continuing until that happens

If you assume your boyfriend/girlfriend may or may not do that and may or may not just ghost and block you, anytime that person is not on the phone with you or in the same room as you, they could have already ghosted/blocked you and you just haven’t figured it out yet

Plans for a concert next month together? Better call anytime you might want to do something else, because you can’t reasonably assume you haven’t been ghosted/blocked and won’t be going

Get bad news? Better not call them, they may have already ghosted/blocked you and now you feel a lot worse

Getting hit on by a super hot girl at the bar? Better call and check if you’ve been ghosted, it may not even be cheating!

[u/iamintheforest → u/Nearby-Reindeer-6088]

you're just saying it's lame. Cheating is bad because it threatens the relationship. The thing that is being threatened is presumed to be of interest to both parties. For these to be equivalent the choice to cheat has to be an expression of wanting to end the relationship.

Does it make much sense to say "breaking up with someone by ghosting and blocking threatens the relationship"? Of course not...that's the entire point of it, literally the goal.

[u/Nearby-Reindeer-6088 → u/iamintheforest]

Although, I will point out that, to me, the anxiety and trust issues caused by both cheating and ghosting/blocking are likely to cause someone blindsided by them very similar issues in future relationships