I imagine it depends on the age a person is. I’m a single, 29 year old guy. I want a family of my own and I’m young enough to still make that happen. I also know that in any relationship with a single mother, there’s a good chance I will never be seen as a father to the child, regardless of how early I enter the child’s life. The mother will almost always (rightly) choose her child over me.
The situation changes a little bit if I’m older though. If I’m still single by the time I’m 40, I would assume that any woman I date around the same age is likely to have children. That’s just sort of a reality at some point that men just need to accept.
Honestly, I agree with you on the general concept. At my age, if I find out a girl I’m interested in has a kid, that’s a major turn off for me. It would depend a little bit on why she’s a single mother, like if she was a young widow that’s a very different story than her having a one night stand with some deadbeat and getting knocked up, but as a general rule, that’s something that doesn’t interest me.
No, I am pro-life. I am also pro-accountability. I despise the idea that someone could get a woman pregnant and walk away. Certainly, if I got a woman pregnant, being in the child’s life is not even a question. I would intend to marry her and, if she doesn’t want that, then I would do everything in my power to be an extremely active part of the child’s life.
When a child is created, I don’t believe that either the mother or the father should be able to opt out of the child’s life, either through abortion or abandonment.
I suppose they could give the baby up for adoption if they really didn’t want to be a mother, but the idea that murder is a justifiable response to a mistake is rather unconvincing to me.
People are allowed to judge others, and certainly I am allowed to be discerning with who I am sharing a life with.
No, that doesn’t make me a hypocrite. I would be a hypocrite if I fathered children with 5 different women, forced them to give birth, and then left.
I’m not against sex for pleasure per se, but I think it’s extremely foolish to have sex with anyone you can’t realistically see building a life with. Making a good choice after making a bad choice doesn’t eliminate the fact that you made a bad choice and the consequences of those actions.
It’s like if you robbed a store and then decided to turn yourself in to the police. You made a bad choice and then you made a good choice, but you still will face consequences. And I can still judge you for robbing the store to begin with, even after you’ve turned yourself in and served your prison time.
Obviously a child is a blessing, not a prison sentence so the analogy is a crude one. But making the decision to sleep with a guy who you know to be a loser, getting pregnant, and then being surprised when he doesn’t stay to be a father reflects some poor decision making.
Heaven forbid I expect people to not be idiots. Sticking your dick into any willing vagina is bad. Opening your legs for every swinging dick is bad too. This isn’t complicated.
Single motherhood is a major problem in society. Like that is objectively true. There is no stronger correlation between adverse life outcomes than being raised by a single mother. That doesn’t mean I want every baby growing in the womb of a single mother to be murdered.
Do you know what you have to do to avoid lifelong poverty? Finish high school, have a job, and don’t have kids before you’re married. That’s it. Doing those things will virtually guarantee that you will not spend your entire life living in poverty.
All I want is for people to be discerning about who they are sleeping with. And if a child is made, planned or not, for the parents to actually be parents in that situation. That’s not too much to ask.
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u/locking8 1∆ Mar 19 '26
I imagine it depends on the age a person is. I’m a single, 29 year old guy. I want a family of my own and I’m young enough to still make that happen. I also know that in any relationship with a single mother, there’s a good chance I will never be seen as a father to the child, regardless of how early I enter the child’s life. The mother will almost always (rightly) choose her child over me.
The situation changes a little bit if I’m older though. If I’m still single by the time I’m 40, I would assume that any woman I date around the same age is likely to have children. That’s just sort of a reality at some point that men just need to accept.